Home > Features > Humour >

A Valentine’s Day XI

Valentine. Photo Courtesy: Wikipedia Commons
Cricket and romance are two words that can’t be separated. Photo Courtesy: Wikimedia Commons

It is impossible to separate the words cricket and romance from each other. Abhishek Mukherjee creates a list of the most romantic names.

With Valentine’s Day on the cards (no pun intended), what can the world of cricket offer beyond an entire Valentine’s squad? There will, of course, be eleven players, playing in front of a trinity of selectors comprising of Ian Bishop, Mark Priest, and Blessing Mahwire.

The team ground will of course be R Premadasa National Stadium (for the uninitiated, prem translates to ‘love’ in most North Indian languages and das translates to servant). The team will also provide an umpire if required — and who can play the role better than Tim Dearlove?

Of course, there have been impostors like Graeme Swann, Matthew Hart and Blair Hartland, both of whom had tried to make their way in. They were not allowed, and the team committee had put forward an additional clause: for every surname there can be only one representative.

When men like Valentine Faithfull and Russell Cake tried to break in another clause was added: all cricketers must have played at least one international match in any format.

The XI, this formed, is:

1. WG Grace, captain

What is romance without grace? Remember Ralph Waldo Emerson’s immortal line “Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait”? And when we discuss grace, what better person to look forward to other than the Grand Old Man who epitomised the Victorian Age better than any other? He walks into the side, and of course, once he plays, no other person can lead him.

2. Joe Darling

 

The man to partner Grace will be the South Australian whose career spanned with The Doctor will be an antipodean from Adelaide. Joe Darling had led Australia in 21 Tests with dignity, and will probably be the vice-captain of the side.

 

3. Phil Mead

What is a romantic date without quality mead? With an average close to fifty Phil Mead had been one of the cornerstones of the England batting line-up of the 1920s: he will bat first-down in what might turn out to be one of the most formidable of line-ups.

 

4. Andy Flower, wicketkeeper

 

You cannot think of a Valentine’s Day without flowers, and the Zimbabwe legend will obviously play a major part. There may be a bouquet, there may be decorations at that romantic dinner, and there may be more. But flowers are essential.

 

5. Martin Love

 

The most essential component in a romantic relationship: any explanation would be an exaggeration.

 

6. Brian Rose

 

Seems redundant after the inclusion of Flower, but a rose is not just any other flower. Prices of the rose go through the roof on the ‘auspicious’ day: the shrewd Somerset captain will probably form the think-tank of the squad along with Grace and Darling.

 

7. Madan Lal

 

There is, of course, no cupid, but the Indian counterpart Madan will make it to the team. The surname means red, which makes the name more authentic.

 

8. Shane Bond

The spearhead of the bowling attack, Shane Bond will definitely play a major role in the relationship. One can only hope that he grows in stature with the romance.

9. Faith Coulthard

As with love, no relationship is complete without faith. The South Australian fast bowler had played a solitary Test for Australian Women back in 1957-58, but that makes her eligible for the team.

10. Lily Rani Biswas

After Flower and Rose a third entry may seem redundant, but the Bangladeshi medium-pacer (who has played four matches in the shortest format of the game) has a remarkably appropriate full name: while rani means queen, the word biswas stands for trust. Isn’t that enough?

11. Alf Valentine

Enough said.

12th man: Peter Young-Husband

Undoubtedly the most famous twelfth man of the season, Young-Husband finds himself in the squad. As a young husband he will, of course, be considered as a future entry of the side, provided Love, Faith, Biswas, and Bond play their parts. Once that happens, Sachin Baby may not be far away either.

 

(Abhishek Mukherjee is a cricket historian and Senior Cricket Writer at CricketCountry. He generally looks upon life as a journey involving two components – cricket and literature – though not as disjoint elements. A passionate follower of the history of the sport with an insatiable appetite for trivia and anecdotes, he has also a steady love affair with the incredible assortment of numbers that cricket has to offer. He also thinks he can bowl decent leg-breaks in street cricket, and blogs at http://ovshake.blogspot.in. He can be followed on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/ovshake42)

World T20 League 2014

Oct 2, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Hyderabad

West Indies tour of India 2014, Practice match

Oct 3, 2014 (09:00 IST)   at Mumbai

Matador BBQs One-Day Cup, 2014

Oct 4, 2014 (05:00 IST)   at Woolloongabba, Brisbane

Matador BBQs One-Day Cup, 2014

Oct 4, 2014 (05:00 IST)   at Brisbane

World T20 League 2014

Oct 4, 2014 (19:00 IST)   at Bengaluru

More

World T20 League 2014

Oct 2, 2014  at Hyderabad

Kolkata Knight Riders won by 7 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 30, 2014  at Bengaluru

Barbados won by 6 wkts (D/L method)

World T20 League 2014

Sep 30, 2014  at Bengaluru

Perth Scorchers won by 3 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 29, 2014  at Hyderabad

Kolkata Knight Riders won by 36 runs

World T20 League 2014

Sep 28, 2014  at Mohali

Kings XI Punjab won by 7 wkts

Photos

KKR vs Dolphins, CLT20 2014

Videos

Arjuna Ranatunga shares his views on U-19 cricket

Live Cricket Score Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) vs Hobart Hurricanes CLT20 2014 1st semi-final: KKR win by 7 wickets

Kolkata Knight Riders vs Hobart Hurricanes, 1st Semi final, CLT20 2014: Hobart likely XI

Kings XI Punjab vs Chennai Super Kings, 2nd Semifinal, CLT20 2014: CSK likely XI

Gandhi Jayanti: Mahatma Gandhi’s cricket connections and an XI

Kings XI Punjab (KXIP) vs Chennai Super Kings (CSK), 2nd Semifinal, CLT20 2014: KXIP likely XI

Asian Games Asian Games 2014 Barbados Tridents Cape Cobras Champions League T20 Champions League T20 2014 CLT20 CLT20 2014 Hobart Hurricanes India at Asian Games 2014 Kings XI Punjab Kolkata Knight Riders

Live Streaming: Kings XI Punjab (KXIP) vs Chennai Super Kings(CSK), 2nd Semi final, CLT20 2014

Live Cricket Score: Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Kings XI Punjab(KXIP), 2nd Semi final, CLT20 2014

Virat Kohli and Harbhajan singh congratulate Indian Hockey team after they win gold at Asian Games

Kolkata Knight Riders beat Hobart Hurricanes by 7 wickets to qualify for CLT20 2014 final

Live Scorecard: Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Kings XI Punjab (KXIP), 1st Semi final, CLT20 2014

CSK vs KXIP CLT20 2014 2nd semi-final: Chennai bowling under pressure

Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Kings XI Punjab (KXIP), CLT20 2014 2nd semi-final: Key battles

Australia’s ODI team faces a dilemma for the first time in 30 years

Kolkata Knight Riders vs Hobart Hurricanes, 1st Semi final, CLT20 2014: Hobart likely XI

Kings XI Punjab vs Chennai Super Kings, 2nd Semifinal, CLT20 2014: CSK likely XI

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

671 Posts | 6 Fans

Kolkata Knight Riders vs Kings XI Punjab- Final Match Highlights from IPL 2014

Virat Kohli and Harbhajan singh congratulate Indian Hockey team after they win gold at Asian Games

Loss of sense of smell in older people could predict death within 5 years

NGOs pursue education for all

Expert tips to keep your eyes healthy

International programme in Animal Husbandry

No better homage to Gandhi on his birthday: Amit Shah on Clean India campaign

Apple now has a tool for users to check Activation Lock status on used iOS devices

Live Cricket Score: Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Kings XI Punjab(KXIP), 2nd Semi final, CLT20 2014

LG webOS-powered smartwatch reportedly in the works

The Shaukeens song Alcoholic: Akshay Kumar and Yo Yo Honey Singh’s track is an anthem for the drinkers!

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here