Irfan Pathan © AFP
Please note the article below is a humour article – pure fiction.
By Amrut Thobbi
Irfan Pathan, who earlier unequivocally refused of having any intentions of entering politics has changed his mind. The cricketer, according to sources, is now a strong candidate to replace Gujarat CM Narendra Modi as the next chief minister of Gujarat after the latter’s thumping win in the assembly elections!
Pathan, who attracted much attention after sharing the political stage with the Chief Minister during state election campaigns, had made it explicitly clear that he was an “apolitical” person. “Neither do I have any connection to politics, nor am I interested in it,” he had said. But it’s now evident that Pathan’s presence at the BJP rally was no gimmick to get the minority vote.
Modi’s invincibility in Gujarat has now elevated the BJP leader as the Prime Ministerial candidate of the party. That will leave the Gujarat CM’s seat vacant. Pathan took stock of his shaky cricketing career and decided on a career change when offered the chance to get into the plum position.
“To be honest, I just wanted to get a feel of the ‘big political stage’. And after sharing space with Modiji, I finally know how it feels like to be a winner. I’m ready for the biggest challenge of my life,” said Irfan.
A BJP spokesman, on conditions of anonymity, said that Irfan’s elevation as successor to Modi would do the party’s tarnished image in the state humungous good as far as the minority section go. “The BJP has been seen as a Hindu hardline party, but the visible public acceptance of a popular cricketer by the party is a master stroke that will greatly help the party in the Lok Sabha election as well,” added the spokesman.
Pathan was candid enough to admit that Sachin Tendulkar’s entry into the Rajya Sabha helped great in his decision to get into politics. ” Sachin is my role model – on and off the field.”
Pathan is confident of roping in out-of-favour cricketers like Rohit Sharma, Mohammad Kaif, Subramaniam Badrinath. However, some cricketers have refused to participate in Pathan’s political ambitions. Munaf Patel, out of action from Test cricket for more than a year, preferred to stay away from politics. He admitted honestly that he is not made for politics. “Dude, I don’t like running, even running for elections!” Parthiv Patel said he is yet to receive a voter ID as the Election Commission deemed him ineligible because they felt he still looks under 18.
It is perhaps ironical that Irfan decided to become a khadi-clad neta after being royally ignored by the national selectors for four years that prevented him to play Test cricket in white dress.
It would be now interesting to see whether the ‘Sultan of swing’ would now be able to cope with the unrelenting swings games of Indian politics. His brother Yusuf is confident that the all-rounder will come good. “Both Irfan and Modi have two things in common,” he says. “Both are from Gujarat and both know a thing or two about hat-tricks!“
(Amrut Thobbi, an engineering graduate and a Masters in Communication & Journalism, is an ardent cricket fan who likes to write spoofs. His passion for writing inspired him to give up a sales and marketing job, which he does not regret. He has also worked as a freelance writer in education and technology sectors. He can be followed on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/amrut.thobbi and on Twitter athttps://twitter.com/amrutti)