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Congress approach Greg Chappell to counter BJP move to field Sourav Ganguly for the 2014 Lok Sabha elections!

Greg Chappell believes his experience of dealing with the BCCI will help him in his new career © Getty Images
Greg Chappell believes his experience of dealing with the BCCI will help him in his new career © Getty Images

By Ashwin Kumar

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

Moments after the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) offered a ticket to former Sourav Ganguly for the 2014 LS polls, the Congress approached Greg Chappell, Ganguly’s bete noire, in order to pitch him against the prince of Kolkata.

“Yes, it is true. We have approached Gregji to take on Dada. He was so successful in bringing down Ganguly’s cricket career and we feel that with him on our side, it’ll hardly be months before Ganguly is decimated politically too,” said Congress general secretary Digvijaya Singh. “Besides, it always makes sense to go for someone like Chappell, who has impeccable secular credentials and keep newly-formed communal forces like Ganguly at bay,” Singh added.

Chappell who spoke to The UnReal Times correspondent Varsha Dhoble, appeared quite pleased with the offer and is currently inclined towards accepting it. “Oh, I’m loving it so far, mate! It looks like I might be accepting this full time. I’m told Congress workers love working under foreigners. I’ve already got the drift of how this whole thing works. Sonia is like my mother, she brought in the Food Security Bill, the Right To Information act, the Land Acquisition Bill and so on. I’m surely gonna set up a Rajiv Gandhi Sports Academy through an Indira Gandhi Cricket Coaching Yojana once I’m voted to power, mate and after that, when Rahulji comes to flag off the coaching camps there, he can proudly say — India mein Gregji ko kaun laaya?,” said Greg, leaving our correspondent totally stumped. “Also, I’ve dealt with the BCCI for years and it wasn’t too different from a political party, given that shady politicians run both the organizations. I’m looking forward to catch up with Sharad Pawar again in the alliance,” Chappell added.

Congress quarters from all across the country have welcomed the decision, with Tamil Nadu Youth Congress workers going ballistic and feeding cake to posters of the late Tony Greig.

(Ashwin Kumar is a humorist with www.theunrealtimes.com where this article was originally published. The UnReal Times is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal)

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