“I had asked for square turners for English batsmen only, and not for Indian batsmen. However, you guys misrepresented my demand,” said Dhoni at the post-match press conference © Getty Images
By Pushkar Ganesh Vaidya
Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.
India lost the second Test match to England by a massive 10-wicket margin at the Wankhede stadium. However, all does not seem lost. At the fiery post-match conference, MS Dhoni, accompanied by coach Duncan Fletcher, took the media head-on.
The 10-wicket loss is sure to boost England’s confidence, but Fletcher felt otherwise. “The English came here thinking we will defeat them 4-0. But now they don’t even know which Test they might win. We fooled them,” the coach said.
When asked if the demand for square turners had backfired, Dhoni accused the media of misinterpretation of facts: “I had asked for square turners for English batsmen only, and not for Indian batsmen. However, you guys misrepresented my demand.”
Dhoni went on to claim that the ability of Indian batsmen to play on turning pitches was unquestionable. “Definitely, we know how to play, our entire team played twice on this Wankhede pitch unlike the English.
Except for Virat Kohli, who got out on a full toss, we all used the pitch well,” Dhoni pointed out.
A reporter from Dignity Foundation asked about Sachin Tendulkar’s low scores in the Test match when suddenly the Little Master stormed in and said, “Definitely, it is true that Monty (Panesar) got me twice, but it is he who is bamboozled and not me. You see, Monty now does not know if I will get out to a turning a ball or to the one which does not turn. It is a strategy.”
In an uncharacteristic outburst Tendulkar added, “You media guys are so stupid.”
Tendulkar declined to take any further questions and stormed out of the press conference. It is learned that he had a Fevicol ad to be shot.
(The above article is reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)