Home > Features > Humour >

Duncan Fletcher to be awarded Drone-Acharya Award

Duncan Fletcher to be awarded Drone-Acharya Award

Government of India recognition for Duncan Fletcher © Getty Images

By ControlZ

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

After India won the 3rd One-Day International (ODI) against Pakistan on Sunday, the Government of India decided to reward the Indian cricket team’s coach Duncan Fletcher with the Drone-Acharya Award. This is a brand new award specially created for Fletcher.

When asked why they had to start a new award when there was already a Dronacharya Award in place, Rajiv Shukla said, “Well, Dronacharya Award is an award presented by the Government for Excellence in Sports Coaching.  So, Duncan Fletcher was not eligible for this one. But, since he has served us for so long, we had to do something for him.”  

After all we love foreigners,” he added.

Talking exclusively to Faking News, an official from the Sports Ministry further explained, “Well, similar to the drones, which have caused destruction in many parts of the world, this award signifies similar destruction of hopes, dreams, and a few careers here and there caused by a sports coach.”

He continued, “Also, drones are unmanned vehicles, which have no decision making system itself. So, who better to start this award with, other than Duncan Fletcher?

When asked, why such awards are being given now, when we’ve had similar coaches previously as well, he clarified, “Look, drones create minor destructions here and there, which swell up to become a major one. They are not like nuclear bombs, which cause a major destruction in one go. Hence, we chose Duncan Fletcher for this one, or we’d have already awarded this to Greg Chappell long back.”

Inside sources from Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) have also told us that BCCI President N Srinivasan is so happy with Fletcher’s performance that he won’t be allowed to go home, not even during the vacation period i.e. the Indian Premier League (IPL), and would be appointed coach of one of the IPL teams.
When asked which team it would be, the insider, on condition of anonymity, told us, “Who beat Chennai Super Kings last time?”

(ControlZ is a satirist with www.fakingnews.com from where the above article has been reproduced with permission. ControlZ’s Twitter handle is @dimaagkoshot)
 
 

India tour of England 2014

Sep 2, 2014 (15:00 IST)   at Birmingham

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Sep 2, 2014 (13:00 IST)   at Harare

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Sep 4, 2014 (13:00 IST)   at Harare

India tour of England 2014

Sep 5, 2014 (15:00 IST)   at Leeds

Bangladesh Tour of West Indies, 2014

Sep 5, 2014 (19:30 IST)   at Kingstown, St Vincent

More

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 31, 2014  at Harare

Zimbabwe won by 3 wkts

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 30, 2014  at Dambulla

SL won by 7 wkts (D/L method)

India tour of England 2014

Aug 30, 2014  at Nottingham

India won by 6 wkts

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 29, 2014  at Harare

South Africa won by 61 runs

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 27, 2014  at Harare

South Africa won by 7 wkts

Photos

Australia vs Zimbabwe, ODI tri-series at Harare

Videos

Misbah disppointed with Pakistan's performance

Australia’s losses to minnows in limited-overs cricket

India tour of England 2014: Who is Jason Roy?

Zimbabwe’s 12 most memorable victories in international cricket

Zimbabwe vs Australia, 4th ODI: Highlights

Elton Chigumbura-Prosper Utseya partnership takes Zimbabwe to historic win over Australia

Australia Australia and South Africa in Zimbabwe 2014 England England vs India England vs India 2014 India India tour of England 2014 India vs England India vs England 2014 Pakistan South Africa Zimbabwe Zimbabwe Triangular Series 2014 Zimbabwe vs Australia Zimbabwe vs Australia 2014

Supreme Court refuses to reinstate N Srinivasan as BCCI president

Supreme Court gives Mudgal commission two more months to investigate IPL 2013 spot-fixing and betting scandal

Mudgal Committee may recommend Chennai Super Kings expulsion from IPL

Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe delighted with historic win against Australia

Michael Clarke terms Australia’s performance as ‘terrible’ against Zimbabwe in 4th ODI

David Bairstow: A champion claimed by depression

Should Michael Clarke cut down on playing time ahead of ICC World Cup 2015?

Australia’s losses to minnows in limited-overs cricket

India tour of England 2014: Who is Jason Roy?

Zimbabwe’s 12 most memorable victories in international cricket

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

668 Posts | 6 Fans

Yuvraj Singh's ton against MCC

Enforcement Directorate begins probe against a dozen online e-retail firms

Obi S400, Obi S450, Obi S500, Obi Python S452 and Obi Wolverine launched, prices start from Rs 4,200

5 shades of pink lipsticks that every girl should try

Ek Hasina Thi: Why is Sakshi finding satisfaction in Shaurya’s pain?

Michael Clarke says Australia were terrible against Zimbabwe

Centre deliberately denying power to Maharashtra: Chief Minister Prithviraj Chavan

8 things that affect your bone health adversely

NGOs pursue education for all

Mudgal Committee may recommend Chennai Super Kings expulsion from IPL

Diesel at almost market price as under-recovery falls to 8 paise

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here