Duncan Fletcher to be awarded Drone-Acharya Award

Government of India recognition for Duncan Fletcher © Getty Images

By ControlZ

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

After India won the 3rd One-Day International (ODI) against Pakistan on Sunday, the Government of India decided to reward the Indian cricket team’s coach Duncan Fletcher with the Drone-Acharya Award. This is a brand new award specially created for Fletcher.

When asked why they had to start a new award when there was already a Dronacharya Award in place, Rajiv Shukla said, “Well, Dronacharya Award is an award presented by the Government for Excellence in Sports Coaching.  So, Duncan Fletcher was not eligible for this one. But, since he has served us for so long, we had to do something for him.”  

After all we love foreigners,” he added.

Talking exclusively to Faking News, an official from the Sports Ministry further explained, “Well, similar to the drones, which have caused destruction in many parts of the world, this award signifies similar destruction of hopes, dreams, and a few careers here and there caused by a sports coach.”

He continued, “Also, drones are unmanned vehicles, which have no decision making system itself. So, who better to start this award with, other than Duncan Fletcher?

When asked, why such awards are being given now, when we’ve had similar coaches previously as well, he clarified, “Look, drones create minor destructions here and there, which swell up to become a major one. They are not like nuclear bombs, which cause a major destruction in one go. Hence, we chose Duncan Fletcher for this one, or we’d have already awarded this to Greg Chappell long back.”

Inside sources from Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) have also told us that BCCI President N Srinivasan is so happy with Fletcher’s performance that he won’t be allowed to go home, not even during the vacation period i.e. the Indian Premier League (IPL), and would be appointed coach of one of the IPL teams.
When asked which team it would be, the insider, on condition of anonymity, told us, “Who beat Chennai Super Kings last time?”

(ControlZ is a satirist with www.fakingnews.com from where the above article has been reproduced with permission. ControlZ’s Twitter handle is @dimaagkoshot)