Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here

Home > Features > Humour >

Duncan Fletcher to undergo plastic surgery to look like Gary Kirsten!

Duncan Fletcher to undergo plastic surgery to look like Gary Kirsten!

After studying Duncan Fletcher’s file, the doctor who is slated to do the plastic surgery said: “It appears that for many years Duncan has been holding his chin in a pensive posture and hasn’t moved much for most of the time. Due to this, his chin muscles have dissolved with his throat and neck muscles.” © Getty Images

By Bakeafakecake
 
Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.
 
Just when we thought Duncan Fletcher’s days as the coach of the Indian cricket team might be numbered, the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) announced today that it will be sending the incumbent coach for a cosmetic surgery to make him look exactly like Gary Kirsten, under whom India won the 2011 ICC World Cup.

This is the latest endeavor from the cricketing board to motivate team India to come back from a string of losses in their own backyard.

Talking to Faking News, BCCI chief N Srinivasan said, “Booting someone out just because he is not able to perform or deliver his duties is not the solution. This is not part of our culture in India. Duncan may not be an Indian, but he is a human being. And everyone has the right to remain highly unimaginative and lethargic, as many of our cricket administrators are.”
 
“Appearances matter,” Srinivasan further argued. “A new haircut for Sachin helped him get his 100th international century, while Dhoni’s haircut after World Cup victory seems to have worked the other way. So we knew that the current problems in the Indian team needed solutions beyond haircuts, so we are going for facial restructuring of Duncan.”

The board had discussions with Gary Kirsten as well, and he was happy with the move. Kirsten, however, requested the BCCI to impose a contractual obligation on Duncan Fletcher that post surgery, he must not be found in the vicinity of his (Kirsten’s) house to avoid confusion.

Doctor Samuels in Australia will be heading the surgery. When contacted he said, “After studying Duncan’s file, it appears that for many years he has been holding his chin in a pensive posture and hasn’t moved much for most of the time. Due to this, his chin muscles have dissolved with his throat and neck muscles. We will need to work on that, plus get all the bacon and sausages out of his waist area. This is a challenging surgery, but I am confident about success.”

Sources say that Indian cricket team has welcomed the BCCI decision as they want Gary back. However, former selector Mohinder Amarnath has claimed that “cosmetic changes” are not going to work.
Srinivasan rejected Amarnath’s criticism, ”Some people issue statements just to be in news.

The board chief further informed that Fletcher has already boarded the flight for the surgery and a lookalike of him has already been called from Yorkshire to sit in the pavilion during the matches India will be playing in his absence.
 
(The above article has been reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 19, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Dubai

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 20, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Sharjah

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 21, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Abu Dhabi

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 22, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Sharjah

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 23, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Dubai

More

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 19, 2014  at Dubai

Royal Challengers Bangalore won by 7 wkts

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 18, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

Rajasthan Royals won by 4 wkts

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 18, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

Kings XI Punjab won by 6 wkts

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 17, 2014  at Sharjah

Royal Challengers Bangalore won by 8 wkts

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 16, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

Kolkata Knight Riders won by 41 runs

Photos

Delhi vs Bangalore match 2, IPL 2014 at Sharjah

Videos

Video Highlights: Mumbai Indians vs Kolkata Knight Riders wickets

Royal Challengers Bangalore coast to 7-wicket win over Mumbai Indians in IPL 2014

Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) vs Delhi Daredevils (DD) Live Cricket Score IPL 2014: Delhi lose wickets but keep going

BCCI members to attend crucial meeting

Peter Moores set to become England coach

IPL 2014: Anjinkya Rahane says he was confident of overhauling Sunrisers Hyderabad’s target

Chennai Super Kings Delhi Daredevils England India IPL IPL 7 IPL 2014 Kings XI Punjab Kolkata Knight Riders Lasith Malinga MS Dhoni Mumbai Indians Rohit Sharma Royal Challengers Bangalore Virat Kohli

Kevin Pietersen has no way back into England setup, says Paul Downton

Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) vs Delhi Daredevils (DD) IPL 2014: Delhi in need of partnership; score 84/3 after 10 overs

Pakistan Cricket Board terminate Moin Khan’s two-month stay as head coach

Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) vs Delhi Daredevils (DD) IPL 2014: Delhi lose openers after brisk start; score 39/2 in 4 overs

Robin Uthappa, Manish Pandey power KKR to 166/5 against DD in IPL 2014 match 6

Doug Insole: More than just an administrator

Gabriel Garcia Marquez: His words found their way even into the cricket world

Brendon Kuruppu scores the slowest double-hundred of all time

IPL 2014: Rajasthan Royals’ team composition vital for success

Kings XI Punjab’s local talent gives them an added dimension in IPL 2014

Fan of the Day

Fan Cricket

Fan Cricket

1 Posts | 0 Fans

Glenn Maxwell's 95, Kings XI Punjab vs Chennai Super Kings IPL 2014 Video Highlights

UPA follows ‘RSVP’ model of governance: Narendra Modi

Khloe Kardashian casually dating French Montana?

Live Score Update, IPL 2014, Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) vs Delhi Daredevils (DD): Delhi 31/1 after 3 Overs

LinkedIn’s user base crosses 300 million mark

Robin Uthappa, Manish Pandey power KKR to 166/5 against DD in IPL 2014 match 6

Chetan Bhagat: 2 States is quite close to me because the inspiration came from my own life!

IPL 7: Bhuvneshwar Kumar believes bowling alongside Dale Steyn will make him better

Breeze, a fitness app that encourages users to walk

Also on cricketcountry.com