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FIFA World Cup 2014: Kamran Akmal heading to Brazil to sharpen his keeping skills

    Kamran Akmal (left) will meet Julio Cesar to know about handling pressure in front of home fans © Getty Images
Kamran Akmal (left) will meet Julio Cesar to know about handling pressure in front of home fans © Getty Images

Kamran Akmal, the Pakistan wicketkeeper shall seek advice from Julio Caesar and Manuel Neuer to help stage a comeback, reports The Flying Freak.

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

The keepers are having a great time at the FIFA World Cup 2014 in Brazil. Be it Julio Caesar, Guillermo Ochoa, Tim Howard or Vincent Enyeama, the goalkeepers have stood tall and essayed some brilliant saves to keep their sides’ hopes alive. It is a pity though that Ochoa, Howard and Enyeama are on their way back home. However, there is one keeper, who is now headed to Brazil; not in the hope of winning the World Cup though! Pakistan cricket team’s Kamran Akmal is now taking the flight to Brazil to (guess what) learn from the goalkeepers and work on his skills.

Kamran was dropped from the central contract list by the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) last month. And, he is not trying to redeem himself the unconventional way. In fact, he had planned a trip to South Africa during the 2010 World Cup, but Robert Green’s blunder put paid to those plans, as Kamran did not suffer the same fate! But, that did have an impact on him as he emulated those disastrous blunders in the 2011 World Cup, when he dropped Ross Taylor twice in the same over. Taylor went onto score a ton and take New Zealand to win. Green’s fate was better though, as England managed to draw. Ironic isn’t it?

After watching the Germany-Algeria game, Kamran is now looking forward to meeting Manuel Neuer. The German goalkeeper made a few brilliant moves and kept his side alive. Then, he would also seek a meeting with Caesar on how to handle pressure in front of fans. However, some people in Pakistan are skeptical. Wasim Akram came up with a logical argument, “How is he going to learn to catch the ball? Is he only going to learn to stop it? At least, he won’t concede byes!”

Meanwhile, Najam Sethi hailed this move. Looking at that, Zaka Ashraf quickly condemned it and moved the court to restrain Akmal from going there. Rameez Raja was optimistic as always, “He [Julio Caesar] is a class act [act] and will hopefully pass on some tips.” Across the border, Ravi Shastri said, “Something had to give. This is just what the doctor ordered.”

Through all that, Umar Akmal wanted to join his brother, “Mera bhai agar jaa raha hai toh main bhi jaunga!” [I will go with my brother]. However, PCB was quick to fine him and then reminded him of the training camp for centrally contracted players. Such is life.

(The Flying Freak eats, lives, drinks cricket, but likes to mix up the sport with everything. An aspiring vocalist, he is aiming to win the Ghanta Awards soon)

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