Home > Features > Humour >

Humour: Usain Bolt and Yohan Blake to parade their cricketing skills in the IPL!

Humour: Usain Bolt and Yohan Blake to parade their cricketing skills in the IPL!

Jamaican runners Yohan Blake (L) and Usain Bolt © Getty Images

By Arunabha Sengupta

 

The news came as a bolt from the blue. Or should we say a fraction of a second slower than a Bolt?

 

Dashing entrepreneur Vijay Mallya has sprinted past competitors and signed Yohan Blake for the Royal Challengers Bangalore (RCB). The Jamaican sprinter, who has gone on record saying he can bowl faster than Zaheer Khan, will be donning red and golden yellow to turn out alongside his Jamican buddy Chris Gayle in the next season of the yearly extravaganza. 

 

“We have always admired fast men from Jamaica,” Mallya declared in a press release. “Michael Holding and Courtney Walsh have been my all-time favourites. There is no reason why Blake cannot emulate them.”

 

When quizzed by pressmen about the rationality of employing sprinters as cricketers, Mallya was quick off his blocks, “It was a well-thought out decision. As the owner of Kunigal Farm, I know a thing or two about studs who race. I can guarantee Blake’s success. He has shown the world that he has speed. All he needs to work on is to release the ball at the end of his run. We have Venkatesh Prasad to guide him for that.” 

 

RCB director Sidhartha Mallya added, “When Blake voiced his willingness, we wasted no time to sign him. And this has been done before. I am informed that Milkha Singh did play Test cricket for India.”

 

It was left to the Team mentor Anil Kumble to clarify that the media managers of the unit had confused India’s pioneering Olympic athlete with the former left-handed batsman of the same name.

 

“But, cricket does have more than a spurious connection with athletics,” the legendary leg-spinner added. “WG Grace was a champion 400 yard hurdler and CB Fry had been a joint world record holder for the long jump. Also, Middlesex cricketer Alastair McCorquodale won the silver medal in the 4×100 m relay at the London Olympics in 1948. Given that Blake won silver at this year’s London Olympics, we have history on our side.”

 

In further stunning developments, late night reports came in from reliable sources about a bidding battle that has been launched between Shah Rukh Khan of the Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) and Nita Ambani of the Mumbai Indians for the services of Usain Bolt.

 

“At least one spot for an all-rounder is open,” Trevor Bayliss, the KKR coach, informed us, obviously hinting at Yusuf Pathan’s repeated failures last season. “In 2009, Bolt hit Gayle for a six and then rattled his stumps during a match in Jamaica. He will be the ideal answer to RCB’s Blake.”

 

(Arunabha Sengupta is trained from Indian Statistical Institute as a Statistician. He works as a Process Consultant, but purifies the soul through writing and cricket, often mixing the two into a cleansing cocktail. The author of three novels, he currently resides in the incredibly beautiful, but sadly cricket-ignorant, country of Switzerland. You can know more about him from his author site, his cricket blogs and by following him on Twitter

 

 

Bangladesh Tour of West Indies, 2014

Aug 27, 2014 (05:29 IST)   at Basseterre, St Kitts

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 29, 2014 (13:00 IST)   at Harare

India tour of England 2014

Aug 30, 2014 (15:00 IST)   at Nottingham

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 30, 2014 (10:00 IST)   at Dambulla

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 31, 2014 (13:00 IST)   at Harare

More

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 27, 2014  at Harare

South Africa won by 7 wkts

India tour of England 2014

Aug 27, 2014  at Cardiff

India won by 133 runs

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 26, 2014  at Hambantota

Sri Lanka won by 77 runs

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 25, 2014  at Harare

Australia won by 198 runs

Bangladesh Tour of West Indies, 2014

Aug 25, 2014  at Basseterre, St Kitts

West Indies won by 91 runs

Photos

Don Bradman's ducks

Videos

Mitchell Marsh: This is a big opportunity for me

India vs England Live Cricket Score 2nd ODI at Cardiff: India win by 113 runs by D/L method

Australia vs South Africa Live Cricket Score, Zimbabwe Tri Series 2014 Match 2 at Harare: South Africa win by 7 wickets

Don Bradman and his ducks

India vs England ODI series 2014: Why an Indian win will be surprising

MS Dhoni taking on England in England and BCCI at home!

Australia Australia and South Africa in Zimbabwe 2014 England England vs India England vs India 2014 India India tour of England 2014 India vs England India vs England 2014 Pakistan Pakistan vs Sri Lanka Pakistan vs Sri Lanka 2014 South Africa Sri Lanka Sri Lanka vs Pakistan Zimbabwe Zimbabwe Triangular Series 2014

Ranjan Madugalle completes 500 international matches as match referee

India romp to massive 133-run win by D/L method against England in 2nd ODI to lead series 1-0

IPL 2013 spot-fixing and betting controversy: Mudgal committee meets police investigators in Chennai

Ravichandran Ashwin dismisses Eoin Morgan to leave England in deep touble against India in 2nd ODI

CLT20: PCB confident about Lahore Lions’ participation

India vs England 2014: 2nd ODI at Cardiff Highlights

Suresh Raina silences critics after cracking stupendous ton for India against England at Cardiff

Shakib Al Hasan’s return: A desperate move by Bangladesh Cricket Board?

Don Bradman and his ducks

India vs England ODI series 2014: Why an Indian win will be surprising

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

664 Posts | 6 Fans

Funny cricket video

Uddhav Thackeray to meet Prime Minister over Maharashtra-Karnataka border dispute

How to have sex after having a baby

What is a yeast infection?

NGOs pursue education for all

India vs England 2014: 2nd ODI at Cardiff Highlights

Salman Khan: Courts never granted me special privileges!

Ranjan Madugalle completes 500 international matches as match referee

Hyperlapse iOS app review: Simple, hassle-free time-lapse video creator unlocks loads of creative possibilities

HP recalls 6 million laptop power cords citing “fire and burn hazard”

Abhay Deol or Karan Kundra: Who makes a better host for Channel V’s Gumrah – Vote now!

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here