Home > Features > Humour >

Humour: Usain Bolt and Yohan Blake to parade their cricketing skills in the IPL!

Humour: Usain Bolt and Yohan Blake to parade their cricketing skills in the IPL!

Jamaican runners Yohan Blake (L) and Usain Bolt © Getty Images

By Arunabha Sengupta


The news came as a bolt from the blue. Or should we say a fraction of a second slower than a Bolt?


Dashing entrepreneur Vijay Mallya has sprinted past competitors and signed Yohan Blake for the Royal Challengers Bangalore (RCB). The Jamaican sprinter, who has gone on record saying he can bowl faster than Zaheer Khan, will be donning red and golden yellow to turn out alongside his Jamican buddy Chris Gayle in the next season of the yearly extravaganza. 


“We have always admired fast men from Jamaica,” Mallya declared in a press release. “Michael Holding and Courtney Walsh have been my all-time favourites. There is no reason why Blake cannot emulate them.”


When quizzed by pressmen about the rationality of employing sprinters as cricketers, Mallya was quick off his blocks, “It was a well-thought out decision. As the owner of Kunigal Farm, I know a thing or two about studs who race. I can guarantee Blake’s success. He has shown the world that he has speed. All he needs to work on is to release the ball at the end of his run. We have Venkatesh Prasad to guide him for that.” 


RCB director Sidhartha Mallya added, “When Blake voiced his willingness, we wasted no time to sign him. And this has been done before. I am informed that Milkha Singh did play Test cricket for India.”


It was left to the Team mentor Anil Kumble to clarify that the media managers of the unit had confused India’s pioneering Olympic athlete with the former left-handed batsman of the same name.


“But, cricket does have more than a spurious connection with athletics,” the legendary leg-spinner added. “WG Grace was a champion 400 yard hurdler and CB Fry had been a joint world record holder for the long jump. Also, Middlesex cricketer Alastair McCorquodale won the silver medal in the 4×100 m relay at the London Olympics in 1948. Given that Blake won silver at this year’s London Olympics, we have history on our side.”


In further stunning developments, late night reports came in from reliable sources about a bidding battle that has been launched between Shah Rukh Khan of the Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) and Nita Ambani of the Mumbai Indians for the services of Usain Bolt.


“At least one spot for an all-rounder is open,” Trevor Bayliss, the KKR coach, informed us, obviously hinting at Yusuf Pathan’s repeated failures last season. “In 2009, Bolt hit Gayle for a six and then rattled his stumps during a match in Jamaica. He will be the ideal answer to RCB’s Blake.”


(Arunabha Sengupta is trained from Indian Statistical Institute as a Statistician. He works as a Process Consultant, but purifies the soul through writing and cricket, often mixing the two into a cleansing cocktail. The author of three novels, he currently resides in the incredibly beautiful, but sadly cricket-ignorant, country of Switzerland. You can know more about him from his author site, his cricket blogs and by following him on Twitter



India tour of England 2014

Sep 2, 2014 (15:00 IST)   at Birmingham

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Sep 2, 2014 (13:00 IST)   at Harare

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Sep 4, 2014 (13:00 IST)   at Harare

India tour of England 2014

Sep 5, 2014 (15:00 IST)   at Leeds

Bangladesh Tour of West Indies, 2014

Sep 5, 2014 (19:30 IST)   at Kingstown, St Vincent


Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 31, 2014  at Harare

Zimbabwe won by 3 wkts

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 30, 2014  at Dambulla

SL won by 7 wkts (D/L method)

India tour of England 2014

Aug 30, 2014  at Nottingham

India won by 6 wkts

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 29, 2014  at Harare

South Africa won by 61 runs

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 27, 2014  at Harare

South Africa won by 7 wkts


Australia vs Zimbabwe, ODI tri-series at Harare


Misbah disppointed with Pakistan's performance

Australia’s losses to minnows in limited-overs cricket

India tour of England 2014: Who is Jason Roy?

Zimbabwe’s 12 most memorable victories in international cricket

Zimbabwe vs Australia, 4th ODI: Highlights

Elton Chigumbura-Prosper Utseya partnership takes Zimbabwe to historic win over Australia

Australia Australia and South Africa in Zimbabwe 2014 Australia vs Zimbabwe England England vs India England vs India 2014 India India tour of England 2014 India vs England India vs England 2014 Pakistan South Africa Zimbabwe Zimbabwe Triangular Series 2014 Zimbabwe vs Australia

Sourav Ganguly: England have mental block playing spinners

BCCI official: Tough for board to host Annual General Meeting this month

Javed Miandad, Abdul Qadir question mindset of Pakistan players

Aditya Verma: Happy with Supreme Court’s decision not to reinstate N Srinivasan as BCCI president

Misbah-ul-Haq shouldn’t lead Pakistan any more, feel former players

Myth busting – Ranji, CB Fry, Sussex and the fertile mind of Neville Cardus

Duncan Fletcher’s heroics and Zimbabwe’s first win over Australia

Archie MacLaren’s amateurs fell Warwick Armstrong’s mighty Australians in one of cricket’s greatest fairytales

David Bairstow: A champion claimed by depression

Should Michael Clarke cut down on playing time ahead of ICC World Cup 2015?

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

668 Posts | 6 Fans

Yuvraj Singh's ton against MCC

9 blood cancer signs and symptoms you should know

Sony SmartWatch 3 and SmartBand Talk leaked ahead of September 4 launch

Revealed: Celebs you might see in Salman Khan’s Bigg Boss 8

NGOs pursue education for all

Xiaomi Redmi 1S on flash sale on Sept 2, will Flipkart crash once again?

Shah Rukh Khan to start shooting for Fan and Raees next year!

Fifty BJP MPs stage dharna against UP government

How to plan a home birth

BCCI official: Tough for board to host Annual General Meeting this month

International programme in Animal Husbandry

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here