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Breaking News: Shahid Afridi supports MNS, calls for ban on Pakistani artists performing in India

Yes, Shahid Afridi has come out and supported the ban on Pakistani artists performing in India.

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Shahid Afridi is looking for a fresh start? (courtesy: Getty Images)
Shahid Afridi is looking for a fresh start?
(courtesy: Getty Images)

Uri attacks have increased tensions across the border and tempers are flaying in India. MNS, the most patriotic political body in India has given Pakistani artists performing in the country an ultimatum and asked them to leave India immediately. This has led to extreme debates and while some radicals are supporting MNS, many are of the opinion that arts and politics be left as two separate entities.

Karan Johar and Shah Rukh Khan came up in support of Pakistani artists yesterday. However, MNS received an unexpected support in the form of Shahid Afridi. Yes, Shahid Afridi has come out and supported the ban on Pakistani artists performing in India.

Pakistanis and Indian media men were left scratching their head at this unexpected turn of events. However, a source close to Shahid Afridi revealed exclusively to us that this is a ploy by the former/present/future Pakistani star.

The source on the condition of anonymity confided: “Shahid bhai has always been disappointed with the way Pakistani artists like Fawad Khan, Atif Aslam are showered with so much of love and affection in India while Pakistani cricketers are not even allowed to play in IPL. This is why Shahid bhai is supporting MNS this time.”

I quizzed him further and asked, “But, it has not gone down too well with Pakistani people. This comment will surely garner only more hatred for Shahid Afridi in Pakistan, wouldn’t it?”

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“Exactly. That is the plan”, the source added and continued, “By giving this statement Shahid Afridi has ensured that he gets unprecedented hatred from Pakistan and love from India. Some lunatics will go and attack his home or he will himself break down his windows and declare that he feels unsafe in Pakistan. He will ask England to give him asylum just as they gave to Malala. Shahid bhai will give up his Pakistani citizenship and start playing domestic cricket in England. He will get an English citizenship in some time and then like Azhar Mahmood, he will enter the IPL auctions not as a Pakistani citizen but as an Indian citizen. That is the whole plan, to play in IPL. That is why Shahid Afridi gave that statement!”

We took a moment to gather our senses before asking the source if it would not take a lot of time for all this to materialise since obtaining a new nation’s citizenship is such a tiring process.

The source replied, “He is still 16 and has enough time in hands. If all goes well, we can see him in the next Under-19 World Cup as well.”

The writer was about to faint, the source helped him to stay in senses and in process the mask fell. To the writer’s shock, the source was his highness Afridi himself. He pleaded to keep all of it a secret. So shhhhh. Please do not share this with anybody.

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

[Dr. Devashish Palkar is a sports aficionado, news addict and a patient of OCSD ( Obsessive Compulsive Satirical Disorder)].

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