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ICC World T20 2014: Quotes you did not hear!

Beuran Hendricks is planning to sue the South African team's barber who clearly misread the pitch © AFP
Beuran Hendricks is planning to sue the South African team’s barber who clearly misread the pitch © AFP

By Vincent Sunder

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

1. Honestly, I thought I was bowling for CSK (Chennai Super Kings) in the IPL [Indian Premier League], and at Faf du Plessis) at the CSK nets!Ravichandran Ashwin

2. I dedicate this knock to (Amit) Mishra for setting up an opportunity for me – Virat Kohli

3. Slow strike-rate in WCT20? Are you kidding me? I’ve taken a good look at the bowling and am all ready to unleash it for RCB (Royal Challengers Bangalore) in IPL! – Chris Gayle

4. Very pleased with the result. We have maintained the South African legacy in ICC tournaments!  Cheers! Faf du Plessis

Also Read:

World T20: South Africa’s loss was no choke

India vs South Africa semi-final: Highlights

5. Blame the hairdresser. He should have kept just one side of my head shining, no reverse swing as both sides were shining! — Beuran Hendricks

6. For some reason my mind went to Mumbai courts and lost focus in that over to Suresh Raina. I hope my contribution will be remembered by a cricket loving judge down the line! — Wayne Parnell

7. Book release happening: Mirpur Tourist Diary — co-authored by Stuart Binny & Varun Aaron

8. Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) ponders hiring Virat Kohli as batting coach for Pakistan team — Buzz in cricketing circles

9. Virat Kohli is good at chasing — on and off the field!!! — Mischievous teammate

10. Ha, ha! $1.5 million for entire Sri Lankan team and that only if they win? Ha, ha! We have got that kind of money for just signing up! —  Unnamed IPL players.

ICC World T20 2014 schedule: Match time table with venue details

(Vincent Sunder aspired to play Test cricket, but had to struggle to play gully cricket! He managed a league side to title triumph in the KSCA tournaments. He was debarred from umpiring in the gully games after he once appealed vociferously for a caught-behind decision when officiating as an umpire! After two decades in the corporate sector, he became an entrepreneur with the objective of being able to see cricket matches on working days as well. Vincent gets his high from cricket books and cricket videos and discussing cricket)

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Dec 17, 2014 (14:00 IST)   at Centurion

India tour of Australia, 2014-15

Dec 17, 2014 (05:29 IST)   at Woolloongabba, Brisbane

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 19, 2014 (16:30 IST)   at Abu Dhabi

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (14:00 IST)   at Port Elizabeth

Sri Lanka tour of New Zealand, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (03:30 IST)   at Christchurch

More

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 17, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

New Zealand won by 7 runs

England tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Dec 16, 2014  at Colombo

Sri Lanka won by 87 runs

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 14, 2014  at Sharjah

Pakistan won by 147 runs

England tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Dec 13, 2014  at Pallekele

Sri Lanka won by 90 runs

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 12, 2014  at Sharjah

New Zealand won by 4 wkts

Photos

India vs Australia, 2nd Test at Brisbane

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Pakistan vs New Zealand 2014, 5th ODI at Abu Dhabi Preview: Teams prepare for high-octane finale

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Nasir Jamshed departs for a duck; Pakistan 0/1 vs New Zealand

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South Africa skittle out West Indies for 201 at Centurion on Day 3

India vs Australia 2014, 2nd Test at Brisbane Day 3: Visitors leaked too many runs, feels Umesh Yadav

Kane Williamson out on 97; New Zealand 202/3 vs Pakistan

India vs Australia, 2nd Test at Brisbane: India’s tail ought to take leaf out of Australian tail’s book

India vs Australia 2nd Test at Brisbane, Day 3: India’s pathetic bowling performance, Mitchell Johnson’s onslaught and other highlights

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Pakistan vs New Zealand 2014, 5th ODI at Abu Dhabi: Pakistan likely XI

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