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ICC World T20 2014: Quotes you did not hear!

Beuran Hendricks is planning to sue the South African team's barber who clearly misread the pitch © AFP
Beuran Hendricks is planning to sue the South African team’s barber who clearly misread the pitch © AFP

By Vincent Sunder

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

1. Honestly, I thought I was bowling for CSK (Chennai Super Kings) in the IPL [Indian Premier League], and at Faf du Plessis) at the CSK nets!Ravichandran Ashwin

2. I dedicate this knock to (Amit) Mishra for setting up an opportunity for me – Virat Kohli

3. Slow strike-rate in WCT20? Are you kidding me? I’ve taken a good look at the bowling and am all ready to unleash it for RCB (Royal Challengers Bangalore) in IPL! – Chris Gayle

4. Very pleased with the result. We have maintained the South African legacy in ICC tournaments!  Cheers! Faf du Plessis

Also Read:

World T20: South Africa’s loss was no choke

India vs South Africa semi-final: Highlights

5. Blame the hairdresser. He should have kept just one side of my head shining, no reverse swing as both sides were shining! — Beuran Hendricks

6. For some reason my mind went to Mumbai courts and lost focus in that over to Suresh Raina. I hope my contribution will be remembered by a cricket loving judge down the line! — Wayne Parnell

7. Book release happening: Mirpur Tourist Diary — co-authored by Stuart Binny & Varun Aaron

8. Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) ponders hiring Virat Kohli as batting coach for Pakistan team — Buzz in cricketing circles

9. Virat Kohli is good at chasing — on and off the field!!! — Mischievous teammate

10. Ha, ha! $1.5 million for entire Sri Lankan team and that only if they win? Ha, ha! We have got that kind of money for just signing up! —  Unnamed IPL players.

ICC World T20 2014 schedule: Match time table with venue details

(Vincent Sunder aspired to play Test cricket, but had to struggle to play gully cricket! He managed a league side to title triumph in the KSCA tournaments. He was debarred from umpiring in the gully games after he once appealed vociferously for a caught-behind decision when officiating as an umpire! After two decades in the corporate sector, he became an entrepreneur with the objective of being able to see cricket matches on working days as well. Vincent gets his high from cricket books and cricket videos and discussing cricket)

Pakistan vs Australia in UAE, 2014

Oct 30, 2014 (11:30 IST)   at Abu Dhabi

Sri Lanka tour of India, 2014

Nov 2, 2014 (14:30 IST)   at Cuttack

Zimbabwe tour of Bangladesh, 2014

Nov 3, 2014 (09:00 IST)   at Khulna

South Africa tour of Australia, 2014

Nov 5, 2014 (14:05 IST)   at Adelaide

Sri Lanka tour of India, 2014

Nov 6, 2014 (14:30 IST)   at Ahmedabad

More

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Nov 15, 2014  at Ahmedabad

Match cancelled

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Nov 7, 2014  at Bengaluru

Match cancelled

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Oct 30, 2014  at Hyderabad

Match cancelled

South Africa tour of New Zealand, 2014

Oct 27, 2014  at Hamilton

No result

Zimbabwe tour of Bangladesh, 2014

Oct 25, 2014  at Dhaka

Bangladesh won by 3 wkts

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