Home > Features > Humour >

IIM Ranchi invites Mahendra Singh Dhoni for placement tips

IIM Ranchi invites Mahendra Singh Dhoni for placement tips

MS Dhoni… inspires the country s best B school students © Getty Images

By Rahul Roushan

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction 

Impressed with the fact that not only could Mahendra Singh Dhoni save his job as the Indian cricket team’s captain, but got a new job as the Vice-President of India Cements, students of Indian Institute of Management (IIM) in Ranhi have invited him to share some tips on job placements.

“Earlier we had thought of inviting President Pranab Mukherjee’s son Abhijit Mukherjee, who survived an interview and group discussion moderated by Arnab Goswami.

The final placements here have interviews and group discussions, so we thought Abhijit could help our students with some vital tips,” Ashutosh, placement coordinator at IIM Ranchi told Faking News.

There were also suggestions to invite former Pakistani dictator Pervez Musharraf, who has become an expert at giving interviews in the last four years.
 
Ashutosh revealed: “We invited Musharraf, but he said he accepted invitations only from Indian journalists. In the meantime, Dhoni was appointed Vice President of India Cements. We realised that it was better to invite him, as he could share tips on how to get a real job, than invite someone who could, at best, give interview tips.”

Earlier, IIM Ranchi had decided to brain-mapping of MS Dhoni to start a course in leadership.

“We are still awaiting a response from Dhoni on that one, but on this one (placement tips) we are waiting desperately to hear from him,” an official of IIM Ranchi said. “Leadership and all can wait. Those are long term goals. We need good placements right now, which will take the new IIMs in the same league as the old ones,” he added.

Students at IIM Ranchi, too, are hopeful that Dhoni, a local boy, will help them out in getting awesome jobs in awesome manners.

“We are really impressed that he got a job in a cement company even though he didn’t have any relevant work experience. That’s how an MBA job should come,” Bikas, a second year MBA student explained why he was eager to meet Dhoni and get some placement tips.

Unconfirmed sources suggest that IIM Ranchi has also invited Nitin Gadkari to help students with work experience. Gadkari has been asked to share tips on what not to do that could make them unqualified to go back to even their old jobs.

“They are also planning to invite Rahul Gandhi to help those students who want to get into family business,” a source claimed.

(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). He is the Managing Editor of Faking News. Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” The above post has been reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 31, 2014 (13:00 IST)   at Harare

India tour of England 2014

Sep 2, 2014 (15:00 IST)   at Birmingham

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Sep 2, 2014 (13:00 IST)   at Harare

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Sep 4, 2014 (13:00 IST)   at Harare

India tour of England 2014

Sep 5, 2014 (15:00 IST)   at Leeds

More

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 30, 2014  at Dambulla

SL won by 7 wkts (D/L method)

India tour of England 2014

Aug 30, 2014  at Nottingham

India won by 6 wkts

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 29, 2014  at Harare

South Africa won by 61 runs

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 27, 2014  at Harare

South Africa won by 7 wkts

Bangladesh Tour of West Indies, 2014

Aug 27, 2014  at Basseterre, St Kitts

No result

Photos

Aaron Finch's record 156 vs England in T20I

Videos

Alastair Cook looks ahead to 3rd ODI at Nottingham

Zimbabwe vs Australia Live Cricket Score, Zimbabwe Tri Series 2014 Match 4 at Harare: Aaron Finch bowled by John Nyumbu

India tour of England 2014: Team India remains unbeaten under Ravi Shastri

Ambati Rayudu has to make every opportunity count if he is to play in ICC World Cup 2015

Sri Lanka vs Pakistan 2014 3rd ODI at Dambulla: Highlights

MS Dhoni records most stumpings in international cricket during India-England 3rd ODI at Trent Bridge

Australia Australia and South Africa in Zimbabwe 2014 England England vs India England vs India 2014 India India tour of England 2014 India vs England India vs England 2014 Pakistan South Africa Sri Lanka Sri Lanka vs Pakistan 2014 Zimbabwe Zimbabwe Triangular Series 2014

Michael Clarke: ICC World Cup 2015 winner will be world’s best side

Stuart Broad expects to be fully fit in time for ICC World Cup 2015

India vs England 3rd ODI: Alastair Cook defends England’s approach

Alastair Cook blames England batsmen for defeat in 3rd ODI against India

Live Cricket Score Zimbabwe vs Australia 4th ODI at Harare: Zimbabwe Tri Series 2014

Zimbabwe Triangular Series 2014: Australia vs Zimbabwe 4th ODI key battles

Clive Lloyd: 22 less-recounted facts about the West Indian legend

India tour of England 2014: Team India remains unbeaten under Ravi Shastri

Statistical review of batsmen with two or more consecutive ducks from ODI debut

Ambati Rayudu has to make every opportunity count if he is to play in ICC World Cup 2015

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

667 Posts | 6 Fans

10 Most Unbeatable Records in Cricket

Worried about ill health when you grow old? Try volunteering: Study

NGOs pursue education for all

Stuart Broad expects to be fully fit in time for ICC World Cup 2015

Got a cavity? Is your dental clinic HIV and Hepatitis proof?

Xolo Play 8X-1100 with octa-core processor, 13-megapixel camera launched in India priced at Rs 14,999

International programme in Animal Husbandry

Tripura officer Ambalika Datta suspended for ordering schools to buy Manik Sarkar’s book

Ganesh Visarjan 2014: Shilpa Shetty Kundra says goodbye to Ganpati in a spirited avatar- view pics!

Michael Clarke: ICC World Cup 2015 winner will be world’s best side

Harsh Vardhan to health officials — launch ‘anaemia awareness campaign’

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here