Home > Features > Humour >

IIM Ranchi invites Mahendra Singh Dhoni for placement tips

IIM Ranchi invites Mahendra Singh Dhoni for placement tips

MS Dhoni… inspires the country s best B school students © Getty Images

By Rahul Roushan

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction 

Impressed with the fact that not only could Mahendra Singh Dhoni save his job as the Indian cricket team’s captain, but got a new job as the Vice-President of India Cements, students of Indian Institute of Management (IIM) in Ranhi have invited him to share some tips on job placements.

“Earlier we had thought of inviting President Pranab Mukherjee’s son Abhijit Mukherjee, who survived an interview and group discussion moderated by Arnab Goswami.

The final placements here have interviews and group discussions, so we thought Abhijit could help our students with some vital tips,” Ashutosh, placement coordinator at IIM Ranchi told Faking News.

There were also suggestions to invite former Pakistani dictator Pervez Musharraf, who has become an expert at giving interviews in the last four years.
 
Ashutosh revealed: “We invited Musharraf, but he said he accepted invitations only from Indian journalists. In the meantime, Dhoni was appointed Vice President of India Cements. We realised that it was better to invite him, as he could share tips on how to get a real job, than invite someone who could, at best, give interview tips.”

Earlier, IIM Ranchi had decided to brain-mapping of MS Dhoni to start a course in leadership.

“We are still awaiting a response from Dhoni on that one, but on this one (placement tips) we are waiting desperately to hear from him,” an official of IIM Ranchi said. “Leadership and all can wait. Those are long term goals. We need good placements right now, which will take the new IIMs in the same league as the old ones,” he added.

Students at IIM Ranchi, too, are hopeful that Dhoni, a local boy, will help them out in getting awesome jobs in awesome manners.

“We are really impressed that he got a job in a cement company even though he didn’t have any relevant work experience. That’s how an MBA job should come,” Bikas, a second year MBA student explained why he was eager to meet Dhoni and get some placement tips.

Unconfirmed sources suggest that IIM Ranchi has also invited Nitin Gadkari to help students with work experience. Gadkari has been asked to share tips on what not to do that could make them unqualified to go back to even their old jobs.

“They are also planning to invite Rahul Gandhi to help those students who want to get into family business,” a source claimed.

(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). He is the Managing Editor of Faking News. Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” The above post has been reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)

World T20 League 2014

Sep 22, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Bengaluru

World T20 League 2014

Sep 23, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Raipur

World T20 League 2014

Sep 24, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Hyderabad

World T20 League 2014

Sep 25, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Bengaluru

World T20 League 2014

Sep 26, 2014 (16:00 IST)   at Mohali

More

World T20 League 2014

Sep 21, 2014  at Hyderabad

Kolkata Knight Riders won by 4 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 21, 2014  at Hyderabad

Hobart Hurricanes won by 6 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 20, 2014  at Mohali

Kings XI Punjab won by 4 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 20, 2014  at Mohali

Perth Scorchers won by 6 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 19, 2014  at Raipur

NK won by 33 runs (D/L method)

Photos

KXIP vs Hobart Hurricanes, Match 2 CLT20 2014

Videos

Kane, Devcich praise each others knock

Live Cricket Score Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) vs Lahore Lions CLT20 2014: KKR labour to 4 wicket win

CLT20 2014: Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) vs Lahore Lions (LL), Match 7: 5 key battles

Before Mitchell Marsh, Surinder Amarnath had hit sixes off last two balls to win a match in England

Kings XI Punjab vs Barbados Tridents, Match 5, CLT20 2014: Highlights

CLT20 2014: Mitchell Marsh stakes his claim for a spot in Australia’s ICC World Cup 2015 squad with late blitz for Perth Scorchers against Dolphins

Asian Games Asian Games 2014 Cape Cobras Champions League T20 2014 CLT20 CLT20 2014 Dolphins Hobart Hurricanes Incheon Asian Games India at Asian Games 2014 Kings XI Punjab Lahore Lions

Bigg Boss 8: Ajit Chandila not to be a contestant of the show

CLT20 match between Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) and Lahore Lions (LL) almost like India-Pakistan clash

CLT20 2014: Mohammed Hafeez blames fielders after losing

CLT20 2014: Gautam Gambhir backs fielders after victory against Pakistan side Lahore Lions

CLT20 2014: Shah Rukh Khan thrilled after Kolkata Knight Riders’s win against Pakistan side Lahore Lions

Cape Cobras v Hobart Hurricanes CLT20 2014 — Highlights

Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) vs Lahore Lions highlights, CLT20 2014, Match 6

Steven Smith: I would love to bat at No 3 in ODI cricket

Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) vs Lahore Lions (LL), Match 7, CLT20 2014: KKR likely XI

CLT20 2014: Akshar Patel reaffirms all-round abilities

Fan of the Day

Cyrus Irani

Cyrus Irani

770 Posts | 24 Fans

Italy 0 Costa Rica 1 Full Match Highlights and Goals Video: FIFA World Cup 2014 Match 24

Round 2 in Android One war: New phones may hit market by December-end

Revealed: The real reason why Upen Patel agreed to do Bigg Boss 8

Kind people appear to be more attractive

Bang Bang Dare: Hrithik Roshan challenges Priyanka Chopra to do handstand push-ups

Asian Games 2014 Live Updates: Eyes on Squash stars Dipika Pallikal, Saurav Ghosal & Judoka Rajwinder Kaur

Customized tablets make way to India for Rs 5,000 onwards

‘Bigg Boss Season 8’ grand premiere review: Salman Khan rocks as the captain cool

Revealed: Puneet Issar, RJ Preetam, Deepshikha Nagpal are the members of Bigg Boss 8′s Secret Society!

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here