Home > Features > Humour >

Inception: MS Dhoni & Company plant the idea of retirement in the legend’s head – Part 3 of 3

Inception: MS Dhoni & Company plant the idea of retirement in the legend’s head - Part 3 of 3

MS Dhoni.

Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.

In the final stage, we need to pull at His heart-strings. Convey the idea that He is blocking the career of a budding cricketer,” continues coach Duncan Fletcher.

Right, we can set up a scene of Rohit Sharma pleading before God,” suggests R Aswhin.

There is wave of disapproval and vigorous shaking of heads.

Nah, that’ll end up backfiring on us. God’ll think he needs to stay on for some more years for the sake of Indian cricket until a promising replacement turns up. Making way for Rohit Sharma seems like a cruel joke,” says MS Dhoni.

For once, I agree with MS,” says Virender Sehwag.

But who else is a promising replacement? Quite frankly, our bench strength sucks. It’s good for me personally in that there’s no pressure on me despite my pathetic from in recent times,” chuckles Gautam Gambhir.

Suddenly, Dhoni jumps up and starts dancing. “I think I’ve nailed it guys,” he exclaims.

We’ll project Arjun walking up to God and saying ‘Dad, I’m about to break into the team. But there’s only one slot available and it’s yours.’ So you need to hang up your boots, dad, so that I can kickstart my international career.”

The guys nod in approval. “Genius! This will definitely work,” says Sehwag, clapping in approval.

An elated Dhoni high-fives his mates and starts crooning ‘Dhinka chika dhinka chika he he he he

Dhinka Chika Dhinka Chika…”

Honey, are you all right? What’s wrong,” the dulcet voice of Sakshi wakes up Dhoni.

He…where am I? What is this?” Dhoni stammers, shaken out of his slumber. He finds himself in bed in the corner suite of the Taj in Mumbai. It’s a sunny morning. He can see the Gateway of India against the glorious backdrop of the bay.

Darling, it’s been two days since you propelled India to victory in the World Cup. We’ve been partying like crazy since then and you finally crashed yesterday evening. Looks like you’ve had a very bad dream,” Mrs. Dhoni whispers.

Hmm…yeah. I seem to have had this weird dream that after the World Cup, the Indian team’s form slumped. We got whitewashed on overseas tours of Australia and England. I dreamt that our bowling attack is now the worst in the world, barring Bangladesh’s. And our batsmen have averaged only 30.00 in the two years since the World Cup triumph, in company with Sri Lanka, New Zealand, Bangladesh, Zimbabwe. And finally, would you believe that I dreamt we lost to England in Mumbai on a rank turner?

Oh honey, see what happens if you overdo the partying thing. We are not cut out for this kind of stuff. To me, you will always remain the small town boy from Jharkhand that I fell in love with.”
Thanks, darling! Glad it was just a bad nightmare.”

Let me go and make a nice brunch for you to cure your hangover. You stay right here, sweetie.”

Dhoni stretches his arms lazily and grins like a Cheshire cat as Sakshi saunters off to call room service. “Uff..what a horrible nightmare that was. Here I am, leader of the world’s No 1 side, the most successful captain in world cricket with every title under my belt including the World Cup. Ahh…life is good. Must stay grounded in reality, must block out negative, unpleasant thoughts,” he thinks aloud.

The totem continues to spin on the bedside shelf. Interminably…..

(Reproduced with permission from http://www.theunrealtimes.com/. The UnReal Times is one of the top websites for satire, spoof, parody and humour in India.)

Click here for Part 2

Click here for Part 1

Pakistan vs Australia in UAE, 2014

Oct 30, 2014 (11:30 IST)   at Abu Dhabi

Sri Lanka tour of India, 2014

Nov 2, 2014 (13:30 IST)   at Cuttack

Zimbabwe tour of Bangladesh, 2014

Nov 3, 2014 (09:00 IST)   at Khulna

South Africa tour of Australia, 2014

Nov 5, 2014 (14:05 IST)   at Adelaide

Sri Lanka tour of India, 2014

Nov 6, 2014 (13:30 IST)   at Ahmedabad

More

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Nov 15, 2014  at Ahmedabad

Match cancelled

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Nov 7, 2014  at Bengaluru

Match cancelled

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Oct 30, 2014  at Hyderabad

Match cancelled

South Africa tour of New Zealand, 2014

Oct 27, 2014  at Hamilton

No result

Zimbabwe tour of Bangladesh, 2014

Oct 25, 2014  at Dhaka

Bangladesh won by 3 wkts

Photos

Pakistan vs Australia, 2nd Test

Videos

Tendulkar provides teaser on upcoming book

Live Cricket Score Duleep Trophy Central Zone vs South Zone, final at Delhi Day 3: Central Zone lead by 111 runs at the end of Day 3

Pakistan vs Australia Live Cricket Score, 2nd Test at Abu Dhabi Day 2

Yuvraj Singh — have we seen the last of the man who won India three World Cups?

Younis Khan continues piling up records for Pakistan

Younis Khan’s ban: why the ICC is justified

Australia Australia tour of UAE 2014 Australia vs Pakistan Australia vs Pakistan 2014 Central Zone Duleep Trophy Duleep Trophy 2014-15 India Pakistan Pakistan vs Australia Pakistan vs Australia 2014 South Zone South Zone vs Central Zone Sri Lanka Sri Lanka tour of India 2014

Misbah-ul-Haq becomes fifth Test captain to score century after age of 40

Younis Khan completes 5th Test double century; Pakistan continue to dominate Australia in 2nd Test

Duleep Trophy 2014-15 final: Central Zone 214/4 at stumps; lead by 111 runs

Younis Khan completes 8,000 runs in Test cricket

Misbah ul-Haq gets most runs by a Pakistani captain in Tests

Younis Khan equals Javed Miandad’s record of most 150+ scores by Pakistan batsman

India vs Sri Lanka 2014: Manish Pandey showing signs of fulfilling potential

Yuvraj Singh — have we seen the last of the man who won India three World Cups?

Younis Khan continues piling up records for Pakistan

Mythbusting — the claim that playing for a weaker batting side handicaps a batsman has no basis

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

678 Posts | 6 Fans

Video Highlights: Younis Khan century during Pakistan vs Australia 1st Test at Dubai

India A vs Sri Lanka: Fringe players look to impress

NGOs pursue education for all

Dance Basanti from Ungli: Put on your dancing shoes and practice the Basanti move!

Weight Loss Tip #59: Eat oranges to lose weight

Sensex surges 150 points in early trade to regain 27,000-mark

PricewaterhouseCoopers partners Google to offer business solutions to clients

Google X Lab working on nanoparticles to help detect diseases early

Priyanka Chopra has the best no make-up selfie on Instagram, think fans!

Lisa Haydon: I slept off midway while watching the original Shaukeen!

International programme in Animal Husbandry

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here