Home > Features > Humour >

Inception: MS Dhoni & Company plant the idea of retirement in the legend’s head – Part 3 of 3

Inception: MS Dhoni & Company plant the idea of retirement in the legend’s head - Part 3 of 3

MS Dhoni.

Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.

In the final stage, we need to pull at His heart-strings. Convey the idea that He is blocking the career of a budding cricketer,” continues coach Duncan Fletcher.

Right, we can set up a scene of Rohit Sharma pleading before God,” suggests R Aswhin.

There is wave of disapproval and vigorous shaking of heads.

Nah, that’ll end up backfiring on us. God’ll think he needs to stay on for some more years for the sake of Indian cricket until a promising replacement turns up. Making way for Rohit Sharma seems like a cruel joke,” says MS Dhoni.

For once, I agree with MS,” says Virender Sehwag.

But who else is a promising replacement? Quite frankly, our bench strength sucks. It’s good for me personally in that there’s no pressure on me despite my pathetic from in recent times,” chuckles Gautam Gambhir.

Suddenly, Dhoni jumps up and starts dancing. “I think I’ve nailed it guys,” he exclaims.

We’ll project Arjun walking up to God and saying ‘Dad, I’m about to break into the team. But there’s only one slot available and it’s yours.’ So you need to hang up your boots, dad, so that I can kickstart my international career.”

The guys nod in approval. “Genius! This will definitely work,” says Sehwag, clapping in approval.

An elated Dhoni high-fives his mates and starts crooning ‘Dhinka chika dhinka chika he he he he

Dhinka Chika Dhinka Chika…”

Honey, are you all right? What’s wrong,” the dulcet voice of Sakshi wakes up Dhoni.

He…where am I? What is this?” Dhoni stammers, shaken out of his slumber. He finds himself in bed in the corner suite of the Taj in Mumbai. It’s a sunny morning. He can see the Gateway of India against the glorious backdrop of the bay.

Darling, it’s been two days since you propelled India to victory in the World Cup. We’ve been partying like crazy since then and you finally crashed yesterday evening. Looks like you’ve had a very bad dream,” Mrs. Dhoni whispers.

Hmm…yeah. I seem to have had this weird dream that after the World Cup, the Indian team’s form slumped. We got whitewashed on overseas tours of Australia and England. I dreamt that our bowling attack is now the worst in the world, barring Bangladesh’s. And our batsmen have averaged only 30.00 in the two years since the World Cup triumph, in company with Sri Lanka, New Zealand, Bangladesh, Zimbabwe. And finally, would you believe that I dreamt we lost to England in Mumbai on a rank turner?

Oh honey, see what happens if you overdo the partying thing. We are not cut out for this kind of stuff. To me, you will always remain the small town boy from Jharkhand that I fell in love with.”
Thanks, darling! Glad it was just a bad nightmare.”

Let me go and make a nice brunch for you to cure your hangover. You stay right here, sweetie.”

Dhoni stretches his arms lazily and grins like a Cheshire cat as Sakshi saunters off to call room service. “Uff..what a horrible nightmare that was. Here I am, leader of the world’s No 1 side, the most successful captain in world cricket with every title under my belt including the World Cup. Ahh…life is good. Must stay grounded in reality, must block out negative, unpleasant thoughts,” he thinks aloud.

The totem continues to spin on the bedside shelf. Interminably…..

(Reproduced with permission from http://www.theunrealtimes.com/. The UnReal Times is one of the top websites for satire, spoof, parody and humour in India.)

Click here for Part 2

Click here for Part 1

World T20 League 2014

Oct 2, 2014 (16:00 IST)   at Hyderabad

World T20 League 2014

Oct 2, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Hyderabad

West Indies tour of India 2014, Practice match

Oct 3, 2014 (09:00 IST)   at Mumbai

Matador BBQs One-Day Cup, 2014

Oct 4, 2014 (05:00 IST)   at Woolloongabba, Brisbane

Matador BBQs One-Day Cup, 2014

Oct 4, 2014 (05:00 IST)   at Brisbane

More

World T20 League 2014

Sep 30, 2014  at Bengaluru

Barbados won by 6 wkts (D/L method)

World T20 League 2014

Sep 30, 2014  at Bengaluru

Perth Scorchers won by 3 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 29, 2014  at Hyderabad

Kolkata Knight Riders won by 36 runs

World T20 League 2014

Sep 28, 2014  at Mohali

Kings XI Punjab won by 7 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 28, 2014  at Mohali

Hobart Hurricanes won by 6 wkts

Photos

Cricket on Mt. Kilimanjaro

Videos

Brian Lara speaks on the art of batting

Mitchell Marsh helps Perth Scorchers clinch 3-wicket victory against Lahore Lions in CLT20 2014

Live Cricket Score Barbados Tridents vs Northern Knights CLT20 2014 Match 20: Barbados Tridents win by 6 wickets

Gautam Gambhir becomes second player after MS Dhoni to captain in 100 T20 matches

Consecutive century opening partnerships in ODIs for each team

Have Manish Pandey’s T20 performances eclipsed his impressive First-Class record?

Asian Games Asian Games 2014 Cape Cobras Champions League T20 2014 Chennai Super Kings CLT20 CLT20 2014 Dolphins India at Asian Games 2014 Kings XI Punjab Lahore Lions Perth Scorchers

Barbados Tridents vs Northern Knights CLT20 2014 Match 20: Tridents have their maiden win in CLT20 0214

Barbados Tridents vs Northern Knights CLT20 2014 Match 20: After decent start by Tridents, Knights make comeback with late wickets

Bangladesh Cricket Board: Nadir Shah ban still on

Barbados Tridents vs Northern Knights CLT20 2014 Match 20: Knights set target of 138 (D/L) in 19 overs

PCB unhappy with bouncy tracks at Dubai for Australia series

Highest score by a batsman when all the other batsmen got single digit scores in a T20 match

Gautam Gambhir becomes second player after MS Dhoni to captain in 100 T20 matches

Lahore Lions vs Perth Scorchers Match 19 CLT20 2014: Lahore likely XI

CLT20 2014: Lahore Lions vs Perth Scorchers Match 19 — Key Battles

Consecutive century opening partnerships in ODIs for each team

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

671 Posts | 6 Fans

Kolkata Knight Riders vs Kings XI Punjab- Final Match Highlights from IPL 2014

Microsoft’s Windows 10 unveiled

Ello might be ad-free, but it is far from claiming Facebook’s throne

Asian Games 2014 Live Streaming Day 12: Watch Live Stream & Telecast of 17th Incheon Asian Games

Navratri Day 7 Colour Blue: Simple and easy family styling tips for this Navratri

Alcohol could leave you sleepless even after you have quit

Bigg Boss 8 highlights: Payback time for Deepshikha Nagpal’s team with reverse Hijack, RJ Preetam’s team blames him for their defeat

Health Minister says UHAM to be world’s largest public health insurance programme

Pankaj Kapur saw son Shahid Kapoor’s Haider and said “It’s Okay”

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here