IPL 2013: Chinese intruders fight with each other over which franchisee to support

Pune Warriors-supporting Chinese soldiers reacting after watching Chris Gayle’s innings of 175 not out. Picture courtesy: Faking News

By Rahul Roushan

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction 

Ladakh (still in India): Members of the People’s Liberation Army of China, who have intruded almost 20 kilometres into the Indian territory, are now nicely settled and fighting over which team to support in the Indian Premier League (IPL), latest reports suggest.

“Since Arunachal Pradesh doesn’t have any IPL team, the Chinese were confused over which team to support. This led to minor skirmishes as soldiers divided themselves into groups supporting different IPL teams,” a source confirmed.

When Faking News visited the area intruded by the Chinese army, some soldiers were indeed in IPL mode. Our reporter could see some of them dancing to “jumping jepang” song while others talked in a language that sounded like “gilli gilli aaw“.
However, some experts claim that since the Chinese soldiers didn’t face any resistance from India, they chose to fight among themselves to keep themselves on toe.

“They might have thought that the Indian strategy was to not react at all and induce them into inaction, and thus blunt their fighting spirit,” a defense expert claimed, “To avoid that, they decided to fight amongst themselves.”

But not everyone agrees.

“They are watching IPL as they have got nothing else to do,” said a strategic analyst, “They are simply another set of jobless people who are now stranded in India. And in India, if you are jobless, you do one of these things — watch IPL religiously, become an expert on Narendra Modi, or ask everyone to like your Facebook page. They chose the first option.”

Meanwhile, the government of India has taken note of the development and has issued a statement as part of its longstanding foreign policy.

“The Chinese are supporting local cricket teams, which proves what the Prime Minister had earlier said, that this is a localised problem,” Foreign Minister Salman Khurshid said, “We are hopeful that this problem would be resolved amicably by May 26, when IPL ends. Let’s wait and watch.”

(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). He is the Managing Editor of Faking News. Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” The above post has been reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)