Home > Features > Humour >

IPL 2013: Chinese intruders fight with each other over which franchisee to support

IPL 2013: Chinese intruders fight with each other over which franchisee to support

Pune Warriors-supporting Chinese soldiers reacting after watching Chris Gayle’s innings of 175 not out. Picture courtesy: Faking News

By Rahul Roushan

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction 

Ladakh (still in India): Members of the People’s Liberation Army of China, who have intruded almost 20 kilometres into the Indian territory, are now nicely settled and fighting over which team to support in the Indian Premier League (IPL), latest reports suggest.

“Since Arunachal Pradesh doesn’t have any IPL team, the Chinese were confused over which team to support. This led to minor skirmishes as soldiers divided themselves into groups supporting different IPL teams,” a source confirmed.

When Faking News visited the area intruded by the Chinese army, some soldiers were indeed in IPL mode. Our reporter could see some of them dancing to “jumping jepang” song while others talked in a language that sounded like “gilli gilli aaw“.
 
However, some experts claim that since the Chinese soldiers didn’t face any resistance from India, they chose to fight among themselves to keep themselves on toe.

“They might have thought that the Indian strategy was to not react at all and induce them into inaction, and thus blunt their fighting spirit,” a defense expert claimed, “To avoid that, they decided to fight amongst themselves.”

But not everyone agrees.

“They are watching IPL as they have got nothing else to do,” said a strategic analyst, “They are simply another set of jobless people who are now stranded in India. And in India, if you are jobless, you do one of these things — watch IPL religiously, become an expert on Narendra Modi, or ask everyone to like your Facebook page. They chose the first option.”

Meanwhile, the government of India has taken note of the development and has issued a statement as part of its longstanding foreign policy.

“The Chinese are supporting local cricket teams, which proves what the Prime Minister had earlier said, that this is a localised problem,” Foreign Minister Salman Khurshid said, “We are hopeful that this problem would be resolved amicably by May 26, when IPL ends. Let’s wait and watch.”

(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). He is the Managing Editor of Faking News. Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” The above post has been reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Oct 20, 2014 (14:30 IST)   at Kolkata

South Africa tour of New Zealand, 2014

Oct 21, 2014 (03:00 IST)   at Mount Maunganui

Pakistan vs Australia in UAE, 2014

Oct 22, 2014 (11:30 IST)   at Dubai

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Oct 22, 2014 (19:00 IST)   at Cuttack

South Africa tour of New Zealand, 2014

Oct 24, 2014 (03:00 IST)   at Mount Maunganui

More

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Oct 17, 2014  at Dharamsala

India won by 59 runs

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Oct 14, 2014  at Visakhapatnam

Match cancelled

Pakistan vs Australia in UAE, 2014

Oct 12, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

Australia won by 1 run

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Oct 11, 2014  at Delhi

India won by 48 runs

Pakistan vs Australia in UAE, 2014

Oct 10, 2014  at Dubai

Australia won by 5 wkts

Photos

India vs West Indies 4th ODI at Dharamsala

Videos

AB de Villiers speaks ahead of New Zealand ODIs

South Africa vs New Zealand 2014: 5 memorable matches

Yasir Shah: The new spinning sensation for Pakistan

Virat Kohli takes wicket with the first (0th?) ball of his T20I career

Kevin Pietersen’s autobiography — a litany of complaints with a few redeeming patches

Banning West Indian players in IPL can affect the ‘Brand value’ of the event – Will BCCI take this gamble?

Australia Australia tour of UAE 2014 Australia vs Pakistan India India vs West Indies India vs West Indies 2014 Pakistan Pakistan vs Australia Pakistan vs Australia 2014 Salaam Cricket West Indies West Indies cancel India tour 2014 West Indies tour of India 2014 West Indies vs India West Indies vs India 2014

Kevin Pietersen is probably the best cricketer I have played with: Eoin Morgan

India vs Sri Lanka 2014: SLC defend decision to tour

Jesse Ryder’s New Zealand comeback possible: Mike Hesson

Sudeep Tyagi included in Saurashtra squad for Ranji Trophy one-day team

Kerala’s 1st greenfield stadium meets ICC standards

Virender Sehwag turns 36: Five most memorable innings of the Nawab of Najafgarh

New Zealand begin ICC World Cup 2015 preparations with 15 ODIs in store

Virender Sehwag paid birthday tribute to by Sophos Antivirus

South Africa vs New Zealand 2014: 5 memorable matches

Yasir Shah: The new spinning sensation for Pakistan

Fan of the Day

Gautam Singh

Gautam Singh

474 Posts | 5 Fans

Video Highlights Mohammed Yousuf drops catch after watching a girl in bikini

IBM to pay $1.5 billion to GlobalFoundries to buy its chip division

Sudeep Tyagi included in Saurashtra squad for Ranji Trophy one-day team

Exclusive: Sunny Leone throws a party for Husband Daniel’s birthday in Pattaya!

Ek Hasina Thi: How will Durga prove Dev’s innocence?

आपकी दिवाली खुशनुमा, सुरक्षित और शुभ हो

Google clones Flappy Bird for its Android 5.0 Lollipop Easter egg [video]

सेक्स टिप # 13: महिलाओं में कामेच्छा (low libido) की समस्या

Jesse Ryder’s New Zealand comeback possible: Mike Hesson

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here