Home > Features > Humour >

IPL 2013: Chinese intruders fight with each other over which franchisee to support

IPL 2013: Chinese intruders fight with each other over which franchisee to support

Pune Warriors-supporting Chinese soldiers reacting after watching Chris Gayle’s innings of 175 not out. Picture courtesy: Faking News

By Rahul Roushan

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction 

Ladakh (still in India): Members of the People’s Liberation Army of China, who have intruded almost 20 kilometres into the Indian territory, are now nicely settled and fighting over which team to support in the Indian Premier League (IPL), latest reports suggest.

“Since Arunachal Pradesh doesn’t have any IPL team, the Chinese were confused over which team to support. This led to minor skirmishes as soldiers divided themselves into groups supporting different IPL teams,” a source confirmed.

When Faking News visited the area intruded by the Chinese army, some soldiers were indeed in IPL mode. Our reporter could see some of them dancing to “jumping jepang” song while others talked in a language that sounded like “gilli gilli aaw“.
 
However, some experts claim that since the Chinese soldiers didn’t face any resistance from India, they chose to fight among themselves to keep themselves on toe.

“They might have thought that the Indian strategy was to not react at all and induce them into inaction, and thus blunt their fighting spirit,” a defense expert claimed, “To avoid that, they decided to fight amongst themselves.”

But not everyone agrees.

“They are watching IPL as they have got nothing else to do,” said a strategic analyst, “They are simply another set of jobless people who are now stranded in India. And in India, if you are jobless, you do one of these things — watch IPL religiously, become an expert on Narendra Modi, or ask everyone to like your Facebook page. They chose the first option.”

Meanwhile, the government of India has taken note of the development and has issued a statement as part of its longstanding foreign policy.

“The Chinese are supporting local cricket teams, which proves what the Prime Minister had earlier said, that this is a localised problem,” Foreign Minister Salman Khurshid said, “We are hopeful that this problem would be resolved amicably by May 26, when IPL ends. Let’s wait and watch.”

(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). He is the Managing Editor of Faking News. Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” The above post has been reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 6, 2014 (10:00 IST)   at Galle

India tour of England 2014

Aug 7, 2014 (15:30 IST)   at Manchester

South Africa in Zimbabwe, 2014

Aug 9, 2014 (13:30 IST)   at Harare

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 14, 2014 (10:00 IST)   at Colombo

India tour of England 2014

Aug 15, 2014 (15:30 IST)   at London

More

India tour of England 2014

Jul 27, 2014  at Southampton

England won by 266 runs

Afghanistan tour of Zimbabwe, 2014

Jul 24, 2014  at Bulawayo

Afghanistan won by 100 runs

South Africa tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Jul 24, 2014  at Colombo

Match drawn

Afghanistan tour of Zimbabwe, 2014

Jul 22, 2014  at Bulawayo

Afghanistan won by 2 wkts

Afghanistan tour of Zimbabwe, 2014

Jul 20, 2014  at Bulawayo

Zimbabwe won by 8 wkts

Photos

India vs England 2014, 3rd Test

Videos

Highlights of Phil Hughes' double ton

India vs England 2014, 3rd Test at Southampton: Highlights

India vs England 2014, 3rd Test at Southampton: Reasons for India’s heavy defeat

10 little known facts about Jacques Kallis

Moeen Ali spins India into trouble: Will he stun them again on Day 5 at Southampton?

Jacques Kallis retires from international cricket: How an Indian fan remembers the South African legend

England England vs India England vs India 2014 Ian Bell India India tour of England 2014 India vs England India vs England 2014 Jacques Kallis James Anderson Moeen Ali South Africa South Africa tour of Sri Lanka 2014 Sri Lanka

India vs England 2014 3rd Test stats highlights: Day 5

Naman Ojha to replace Wriddhiman Saha in Indian squad for England tour

England retain squad for 4th Test against India at Old Trafford

India vs England 2014, 3rd Test at Southampton: Players who were questioned did well, says Alastair Cook

Alastair Cook heaps praise on Moeen Ali after England’s win over India in 3rd Test at Southampton

10 little-known facts about Sir Frank Worrell

Statistical analysis of Jacques Kallis’s ODI career

Top 12 cricketing moments between England’s two Test wins

Naman Ojha’s selection for India’s tour of England is a step in right direction

India vs England 2014 3rd Test stats highlights: Day 5

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

658 Posts | 6 Fans

Sachin Tendulkar's nine dismissals against James Anderson

Abhishek Bachchan shows off his metrosexual side!

Meow chat app stalks users on social networks

Exclusive: Aamir Khan’s PK poster leaks!

Top 12 cricketing moments between England’s two Test wins

Prevent Diabetes Tip – get regular health check-ups

BlackBerry to acquire Secusmart; Open to more such acquisitions

Statistical analysis of Jacques Kallis’s ODI career

Rafael to miss rest of Man Utd’s tour of the USA with groin injury

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here