Home > Features > Humour >

IPL 2014 Auction Day 1: Random thoughts of the day

Samit Patel's base price was high © Getty Images
Samit Patel’s base price was set high in IPL 7 auction  © Getty Images

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

By Humjee Break-Sheikh

Of course, a day at Indian Premier League (IPL) auctions is not about numbers. One can only wonder what must have been going through the minds of the various people present in the room and the cricketers following it. Vernon Philander, for example, went wicket-less after the sides simply refused to buy him. Tillakaratne Dilshan, on the other hand, scored a duck.

Of course, this is not an article based on probably psychology of the cricketers involved. This is just a recollection of the random thoughts that might have gone through the mind of the viewers throughout the day.

  

-          Dinesh Karthik has been sold at INR 12.5 crores. The next wicketkeeper on the list, Brendon McCullum (the highest run-getter in the shortest format one must remember), was sold for INR 3.25 crores.

-          Karthik will be a teammate of Murali Vijay. #JustSaying #NoGossip

-          Morne Morkel may have to open bowling with Vinay Kumar. Mitchell Johnson, with Lakshmipathy Balaji.

-          Jean-Paul Duminy and Nathan Coulter-Nile were the only ones with hyphenated names who were purchased today.

-          Gary Kirsten was at a table when Herschelle Gibbs’s name came up.

-          MS Dhoni would be leading Faf du Plessis and Brendon McCullum — the captains of the two teams that have bashed India this season.

-          Stephen Fleming knew of, remembered, and purchased Matt Henry.

-          Hemang Badani, Rikki Clarke, Wasim Jaffer, and Simon Jones were on the auction as well, as were Imran Tahir (for INR one crore) and Samit Patel (for double the price of Tahir).

-          Nobody laughed when Jade Dernbach’s name was announced.

-          The nearest thing Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) has to a specialist wicketkeeper is Robin Uthappa.

-          The world was suddenly reminded of Danza Hyatt.

-          There were three rejected Pereras today — Kusal Janith, Angelo, and Dilruwan. This means that Thisara, the only one of the lot to be selected, won the battle of the Pereras.

-          Praveen Kumar was rejected. Again.

(Humjee Break-Sheikh eats, drinks, breathes and lives cricket. Unfortunately, he does not believe in social media.)

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (14:00 IST)   at Port Elizabeth

Sri Lanka tour of New Zealand, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (03:30 IST)   at Christchurch

India tour of Australia, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (05:00 IST)   at Melbourne

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Jan 2, 2015 (14:00 IST)   at Cape Town

Sri Lanka tour of New Zealand, 2014-15

Jan 3, 2015 (03:30 IST)   at Wellington

More

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 19, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

New Zealand won by 68 runs

India tour of Australia, 2014-15

Dec 17, 2014  at Woolloongabba, Brisbane

Australia won by 4 wkts

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 17, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

New Zealand won by 7 runs

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Dec 17, 2014  at Centurion

South Africa won by an innings and 220 runs

England tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Dec 16, 2014  at Colombo

Sri Lanka won by 87 runs

Photos

India vs Australia, 2nd Test at Brisbane

Videos

Ind vs Aus: Dhoni analyses the 4-wicket loss at Brisbane

ICC World Cup 2015: England announce 15-man squad

India’s collapse against Australia on 2nd Test at Brisbane: Did the visitors really bat badly on Day 4?

India vs Australia 2014-15, Brisbane: India marks out of 10

Live Cricket Score India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane, Day 4: Australia win by 4 wickets, take 2-0 lead in the series

Anil Kumble Australia India Moments in history Ricky Ponting South Africa

Jason Holder congratulated by Darren Sammy on earning West Indies ODI captaincy

India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane: India were distracted by practice pitches and food, claims local media

New Zealand vs Sri Lanka 2014-15: Brendon McCullum returns as middle-order batsman

South Africa vs West Indies 2014-15: Leon Johnson urges Windies batsmen to perform better

India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane: MS Dhoni says there was miscommunication regarding Shikhar Dhawan’s injury

Batsman given hit wicket after mobile phone falls on stumps

India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane: Highlights

India’s collapse against Australia on 2nd Test at Brisbane: Did the visitors really bat badly on Day 4?

India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane: Marks out of 10 for the hosts

India vs Australia 2014-15, Brisbane: India marks out of 10

Fan of the Day

Suraj Gowda

Suraj Gowda

653 Posts | 10 Fans

India vs Australia: Murali Vijay's 144, Video highlights

प्रसिद्ध कथक नृत्यांगना सितारा देवी नहीं रही

More broadband connections to boost GDP growth in Asia Pacific: GSMA

India is becoming our largest overseas market, Xiaomi CEO Lei Jun says

Bigg Boss 8: Ali Quli Mirza, Renee Dhyani, Upen Patel, Praneet Bhatt, Sonali Raut – who should be evicted this week?

Revealed: The reason why Kishore Kumar’s biopic starring Ranbir Kapoor won’t feature Katrina Kaif!

अभिनेत्री प्रियंका चोपड़ा ने स्वच्छ भारत अभियान में हिस्सा लिया

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here