Home > Features > Humour >

Ishant Sharma called back to India squad for remainder of ICC World T20 2014

Ishant Sharma believes he can provide the impetus to India's bowling to be able to give their batsmen a considerable target to chase down © Getty Images
Ishant Sharma believes he can provide the impetus to India’s bowling © Getty Images

By UnReal Mama

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

Cometh the hour, cometh the man. Ishant Sharma has been re-inducted into Team India at the behest of its batsmen. The lanky pacer’s absence from the squad in the ongoing ICC World T20 2014 has been sorely felt, what with the Indian bowlers restricting the opposition to sub-par scores in the 130s, and even bagging ‘man of the match’ awards. This has not gone down well with the batsmen who want Ishant back in the squad so that the natural order can be restored.

The situation is so fraught that some batsmen like Suresh Raina are on the verge of depression. These Bangladeshi pitches are to the likes of Raina what a vegetable garden full of carrots is to a rabbit but Amit Mishra & co have spoiled the southpaw’s party. “Besharm ki tarah bowling kar rahen hain $%#$% @#$ [Bowling shamelessly],” Raina wailed to The UnReal Times.

Ace commentator Ravi Shastri too is missing Ishant. “My use of ‘that’s gone like a tracer bullet’ and ‘this could go down to the wire’ has come down by 80% in matches involving India, man,” the great man bemoaned. “How long can I keep plugging in ‘important phase of play’ when I have nothing important to say which is the case most of the time? Bringing Ishant back will be just what the….I mean it will be good for the game.”

Even skipper Mahendra Singh Dhoni’s spirits are down. “I tried my best to take yesterday’s game against Bangladesh to the last ball,” he noted wistfully, “before getting bored and finishing things with a spectacularly ugly slog. Really miss lambu, yaar.”

ICC World T20 2014 schedule: Match time table with venue details

ICC World T20 2014 Points Table and Team Standings

Ishant was vacationing in the Bahamas when he received the SOS and is all set to join the squad for the last of the league matches against Australia. The Indian team is planning a huge ‘welcome back’ party for the lanky pacer. “I know exactly what is expected of me and I am confident of delivering,” a jubilant Ishant told The UnReal Times, enroute to Bangladesh.

(Originally published in www.theunrealtimes.comUnreal Mama” is the pen name of CS Krishna & Karthik Laxman, founding editors of the site which is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal.)

Pakistan vs Australia in UAE, 2014

Oct 30, 2014 (11:30 IST)   at Abu Dhabi

Sri Lanka tour of India, 2014

Nov 2, 2014 (13:30 IST)   at Cuttack

Zimbabwe tour of Bangladesh, 2014

Nov 3, 2014 (09:00 IST)   at Khulna

South Africa tour of Australia, 2014

Nov 5, 2014 (14:05 IST)   at Adelaide

Sri Lanka tour of India, 2014

Nov 6, 2014 (13:30 IST)   at Ahmedabad

More

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Nov 15, 2014  at Ahmedabad

Match cancelled

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Nov 7, 2014  at Bengaluru

Match cancelled

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Oct 30, 2014  at Hyderabad

Match cancelled

South Africa tour of New Zealand, 2014

Oct 27, 2014  at Hamilton

No result

Zimbabwe tour of Bangladesh, 2014

Oct 25, 2014  at Dhaka

Bangladesh won by 3 wkts

Photos

Pakistan vs Australia, 2nd Test

Videos

Tendulkar provides teaser on upcoming book

Live Cricket Score Duleep Trophy Central Zone vs South Zone, final at Delhi Day 4: Central 344/7 at Lunch

Live Cricket Score: Pakistan vs Australia, 2nd Test, Day 3 at Abu Dhabi

Don Bradman dismissed twice on the same day

Rohit Sharma looks to strengthen career after an inconsistent year

Yuvraj Singh — have we seen the last of the man who won India three World Cups?

Australia Australia tour of UAE 2014 Australia vs Pakistan Australia vs Pakistan 2014 Central Zone Duleep Trophy Duleep Trophy 2014-15 India Pakistan Pakistan vs Australia Pakistan vs Australia 2014 South Zone South Zone vs Central Zone Sri Lanka Sri Lanka tour of India 2014

Duleep Trophy 2014-15 final: Central Zone reach 344/7 at Lunch; Robin Bist unbeaten on 87

Financial options to make West Indies’ Down Under tour possible

Duleep Trophy 2014-15 final: Robin Bist completes half-century

BCCI may file $42 million lawsuit against WICB for India tour pullout

India vs Sri Lanka 2014: Muttiah Muralitharan insists Virat Kohli a huge asset for India

Don Bradman dismissed twice on the same day

Virat Kohli’s captaincy opportunities important in context of India’s succession plans

Rohit Sharma looks to strengthen career after an inconsistent year

Younis Khan equals Javed Miandad’s record of most 150+ scores by Pakistan batsman

India vs Sri Lanka 2014: Manish Pandey showing signs of fulfilling potential

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

678 Posts | 6 Fans

Video Highlights: Younis Khan century during Pakistan vs Australia 1st Test at Dubai

India A vs Sri Lanka: Fringe players look to impress

NGOs pursue education for all

Dance Basanti from Ungli: Put on your dancing shoes and practice the Basanti move!

Weight Loss Tip #59: Eat oranges to lose weight

Sensex surges 150 points in early trade to regain 27,000-mark

PricewaterhouseCoopers partners Google to offer business solutions to clients

Google X Lab working on nanoparticles to help detect diseases early

Priyanka Chopra has the best no make-up selfie on Instagram, think fans!

Lisa Haydon: I slept off midway while watching the original Shaukeen!

International programme in Animal Husbandry

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here