Home > Features > Humour >

Ishant Sharma transforms into world’s fastest bowler after going bald!

Ishant Sharma transforms into world's fastest bowler after going bald!

Ishant Sharma.

Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.

India’s seemingly eternal quest to unearth a genuine pacer that can strike fear in the hearts of batsmen with chin music may be at an end: their bowling mainstay, Ishant Sharma, has overnight metamorphosed into the worlds’ fastest bowler after shearing his long flowing tresses for a smooth scalp.

The lanky pacer had made a dash to Tirupati to donate his hair to the Lord in the hope of finding form at the end of the 4th day’s play of the final Test of the ongoing series.  And lo and behold, unlike the mythical Samson, who lost his powers after shedding his locks, the former gentle medium-pacer’s speed has increased manifold.

Although the transformation into a genuine fast bowler comes at a great personal cost – Ishant was on the verge of becoming the brand ambassador for hair care products of a leading Multi National Corporation (MNC), not to mention the negative impact it may have on his fan following – his team isn’t complaining, having already dubbed him the ‘bullet monk’.

While Sharma attributes his transformation to the divine grace of Lord Balaji, scientists at the Advanced Institute of Aerodynamics have a more rational explanation. “The aerodynamic drag of his shaggy mane as he ran in was considerable enough to bring his pace down by many notches. So although he may appear less intimidating during the run-up, he should more than make up for it with enhanced pace,” contends Dr. Verghese, head of the institute.
 
(“Unreal Mama” is the pen name under which CS Krishna and Karthik Laxman, the founding editors of The Unreal Times (www.theunrealtimes.com ), write fictional news reports, dressing room conversations and other such articles marrying humour with satire. The Unreal Times is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal and the article above is reproduced with permission)

World T20 League 2014

Sep 23, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Raipur

World T20 League 2014

Sep 24, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Hyderabad

World T20 League 2014

Sep 25, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Bengaluru

World T20 League 2014

Sep 26, 2014 (16:00 IST)   at Mohali

World T20 League 2014

Sep 26, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Mohali

More

World T20 League 2014

Sep 22, 2014  at Bengaluru

Chennai Super Kings won by 54 runs

World T20 League 2014

Sep 21, 2014  at Hyderabad

Kolkata Knight Riders won by 4 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 21, 2014  at Hyderabad

Hobart Hurricanes won by 6 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 20, 2014  at Mohali

Kings XI Punjab won by 4 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 20, 2014  at Mohali

Perth Scorchers won by 6 wkts

Photos

KXIP vs Hobart Hurricanes, Match 2 CLT20 2014

Videos

Kane, Devcich praise each others knock

Champions League T20 (CLT20) 2014: CSK sends clear signal to other sides by ravaging Dolphins

Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Dolphins, Match 8, CLT20 2014: Highlights

Mitchell Marsh: I thought that the match was tied against Dolphins

Hobart Hurricanes vs Northern Knights CLT20 2014 Match 9: Preview

Champions League T20 (CLT20) 2014: Kuldeep Yadav’s dramatic debut for Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) shows he is one for the future

Asian Games Asian Games 2014 Cape Cobras Champions League T20 2014 Chennai Super Kings CLT20 CLT20 2014 Dolphins Hobart Hurricanes Incheon Asian Games India at Asian Games 2014 Lahore Lions

Jason Gillespie: Australia, New Zealand or South Africa favorites to win the ICC World Cup 2015

Makhaya Ntini looks forward to match at Mount Kilimanjaro summit

Mitchell Marsh: I thought that the match was tied against Dolphins

Usain Bolt picks Shane Warne over Sachin Tendulkar

Anandji Dossa passes away

Hobart Hurricanes vs Northern Knights, Match 9, CLT20 2014 – Hurricanes’ likely XI

Sorabji Colah: An outstanding slip fielder who never fulfilled his batting promises

Anandji Dossa — a life to cherish

Champions League T20 (CLT20) 2014: CSK sends clear signal to other sides by ravaging Dolphins

Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Dolphins, Match 8, CLT20 2014: Highlights

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

670 Posts | 6 Fans

CLT20 2014: Kings Xi Punjab vs Barbados Tridents, final over

Abhinav Bindra bids Asian Games adieu by winning a bronze medal in in 10m Air Rifle

Is having leaky breasts during pregnancy normal?

Abhinav Bindra leads India men’s team to win bronze in 10m air rifle in Asian Games 2014

After the Deepika Padukone controversy, the leading publishing house kills off Sonali Bendre’s relatives!

Why green gram or moong dal is good for health

Microsoft’s Xbox One launched in India, prices start from Rs 39,990

Check out Hrithik Roshan’s auto-rickshaw selfie!

Apple iPhone 5S now available for less that Rs 35,000 on Indian e-commerce sites

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here