Ishant Sharma’s detractors were disappointed with his scintillating performance at Lord’s © Getty Images
Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction
In a rather unexpected incident, a mob of over enthusiastic cricket lovers today reached the residence of Indian pace spearhead Ishant Sharma and started pelting it with stones. Police reached the place immediately and calmed down the mob by telling them that not only had India had actually won the Test Match but, what’s more, Ishant Sharma had been declared the man of the match.
The mob seemed to have pre-planned the demonstration expecting another defeat at Lord’s. “We could not believe it when the SHO told us that India had won and that too because Ishant Sharma had taken 7 wickets in in the fourth innings! Can you believe that?” said the incredulous mob leader, Jhumru.
Another member of the protest crowd told us, “We decided to set off for Ishant’s house to vent our frustration when that Moeen Ali guy and Joe Root were just not getting out. Considering that Ishant had not bowled much till then, we were sure of another defeat. Hence, we pre-planned the demonstration such that we would get to the Sharmas’ residence just as the match was about to end.”
The crowd had started shouting slogans and had thrown only a couple of stones, when, with the same speed that Ishant had bowled today, the police came in and broke the news. One particular protester looked very dejected with news of Ishant’s spectacular performance. “What am I supposed to do now? I have been trolling Ishant over Twitter and Facebook and his non-performance has been one of the reasons for my Twitter followers. How am I gonna retain them now?” he wailed.
Fortunately, one of the pelters, a former TNYC member, had a Kapil Sharma poster with him. The mob exhausted its collection of stones on the comedian’s poster and dispersed, jubilant and satisfied.
After the crowd dispersed, it was revealed that Ishant’s family had actually left the home at the start of the series. “We usually leave for our relatives’ place before the start of any series and return only after the series has ended. It’s a risky business being here when Ishant is playing. We too didn’t expect that he will play like this,” said Ishant’s mother, eyes welling up with tears. His father, however, seemed a tad down, remarking, “What will happen to all those trips to the relatives. With Ishu performing, who knows, we might have to live here and entertain guests at our house. Do you realize how difficult it is to be hosts?”
(MIB is an humourist with www.theunrealtimes.com where the spoof was first published)