Home > Features > Humour >

Kieron Pollard takes ‘throwing the bat’ instructions too seriously!

Kieron Pollard was guilty only of taking words too literally © PTI
Kieron Pollard was guilty only of taking words too literally © PTI

By Abhijit Banare

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

More than a day after the infamous ‘BatGate’ incident (Yes, it’s mandatory in India to add “gate” to all controversies and scams), Mumbai Indians skipper Rohit Sharma revealed that it was he who had asked Pollard to “throw” his bat around, but the big West Indian took the words a bit too literally!

“Well, uhmmm (fumbles) I was trying to tell Polly [Pollard] that at this rate we were not going to anywhere as it was a good batting wicket. Since he has a good arm, and throws his bat around in the death overs, I asked him to take his chances. ‘If you can hit it clean, then you can go for it!’ But I never knew he would take it a touch too seriously and throw the bat at Mitchell Starc,” said a relaxed Rohit after Pollard was let off with a nominal fine.

Asked whether, Pollard will throw his bat around in the next match as well, the Mumbai Indian skipper replied with a wry smile, “Well, you know these West Indians have a liking for Australians and CSK [Chennai Super Kings] even have one in Ben Hilfenhaus. But you never know, he might try to throw his bat only at the ball this time around.”

While cricket is struggling to retain its gentleman tag, Pollard’s aggression has already attracted a few brand endorsements (typical for cricketers in India). A certain undergarment brand has already approached the sturdy built West Indian to promote their as ‘macho-man.’ It has also been reported that a popular youth-oriented entertainment channel is planning to rope in Pollard for their show Roadies, so that the staged violence and aggression gets the much- needed boost.

Click here for IPL 2014 Schedule: Match time table for IPL 7

Click here for IPL 2014 Schedule & Results

Click here for IPL 2014 complete coverage

(Abhijit Banare is a reporter at CricketCountry. He is an avid quizzer and loves to analyse and dig out interesting facts which allows him to learn something new every day. Apart from cricket he also likes to keep a sharp eye on Indian politics, and can be followed on Twitter and blog)

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Sep 4, 2014 (13:00 IST)   at Harare

India tour of England 2014

Sep 5, 2014 (15:00 IST)   at Leeds

Bangladesh Tour of West Indies, 2014

Sep 5, 2014 (19:30 IST)   at Kingstown, St Vincent

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Sep 6, 2014 (13:00 IST)   at Harare

India tour of England 2014

Sep 7, 2014 (19:30 IST)   at Birmingham

More

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Sep 2, 2014  at Harare

Australia won by 62 runs

India tour of England 2014

Sep 2, 2014  at Birmingham

India won by 9 wkts

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 31, 2014  at Harare

Zimbabwe won by 3 wkts

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 30, 2014  at Dambulla

SL won by 7 wkts (D/L method)

India tour of England 2014

Aug 30, 2014  at Nottingham

India won by 6 wkts

Photos

India vs England, 4th ODI at Edgbaston

Videos

Misbah disppointed with Pakistan's performance

Ajinkya Rahane, Shikhar Dhawan complete comprehensive series win for India with 9-wicket win in 4th ODI

Mitchell Marsh records highest strike rate in an ODI innings for Australia against South Africa

N Srinivasan faces a two-month wait as Mudgal commission prepares final report

Norman Gordon passes away at 103

Ishant Sharma: 10 facts you need to know about the towering Indian paceman

Australia Australia and South Africa in Zimbabwe 2014 Australia vs Zimbabwe England England vs India England vs India 2014 India India tour of England 2014 India vs England India vs England 2014 Pakistan South Africa Zimbabwe Zimbabwe Triangular Series 2014 Zimbabwe vs Australia Zimbabwe vs Australia 2014

Alastair Cook vows to stay on as England captain despite ODI series loss against India

Ajinkya Rahane becomes first Indian opener to score an ODI hundred against England in England

VVS Laxman congratulates India on winning ODI series against England

Michael Clarke hamstring injury: Scan reveals some damage

Kevin Pietersen disgusted after cricket experts say England can’t win World Cup 2015

Cricket in Columbia: Rest of the World XI beat India XI

Sachin Tendulkar’s Playing It My Way: What cricket lovers would expect from his autobiography

Ajinkya Rahane strengthens his case to open in ODIs; but will Rohit Sharma’s return push him back to No 4?

India vs England 2014, 4th ODI: Highlights

38 entries from cricket’s obsolete lexicon

Fan of the Day

Suraj Gowda

Suraj Gowda

628 Posts | 7 Fans

Thilan Samaraweera finds an unusual way to get stumped

Apple confirms accounts of Hollywood celebrities were compromised to access nude photos, refutes iCloud breach

International programme in Animal Husbandry

NGOs pursue education for all

Alastair Cook vows to stay on as England captain despite ODI series loss against India

What is endometriosis?

Hrithik Roshan not doing Hollywood film Step Up 6?

Opera Mini returns to Windows Phone, starts taking signups for beta testing

Obhrai Announces Canadian Support For Bangladesh

Calling all Vegetarians: How to Have an all Inclusive BBQ

Cricket in Columbia: Rest of the World XI beat India XI

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here