Home > Features > Humour >

Kingfisher employees kidnap Chris Gayle; demand due salaries as ransom!

Kingfisher employees kidnap Chris Gayle; demand due salaries as ransom!

Apparently it took 17 men and a cargo truck to abduct Chris Gayle (above) © Getty Images

By Anil Sharma

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

The intermittent protests by the Kingfisher Airlines employees took an unexpected shape on when late on Tuesday a few of their employees kidnapped Chris Gayle, the hard-hitting batsman of Royal Challengers Bangalore — the team owned by hard-hit Vijay Mallya.

Sources say that the employees have once again demanded their dues, this time as ransom.

The 33-year-old West Indian cricketer was kidnapped by the employees when he was heading toward the Chinnaswamy Stadium from his hotel room for net practice. RCB is playing their first match on April 4 against Mumbai Indians.

 ”We chose Chris Gayle because without him, Vijay Mallya’s team is nothing. Hopefully he appreciates the value of Chris Gayle and doesn’t treat him like he has treated us. And if he doesn’t pay the ransom money, we will not let Gayle play any match,” an employee stated.

According to the employees, kidnapping Chris Gayle was not an easy job. Apparently he was heavier than the debts on Vijay Mallya’s head.

“He looks slim and fit, but it took 17 men and a cargo truck to abduct him! It’d have been easier to lift and abduct the whole Ambani family, who are also in Bengaluru for the IPL [Indian Premier League] match, but then Reliance is not supposed to pay us!” another employee told Faking News.

“We know that it is against the law of the land, but we have had enough; Mallya sahib has been ignoring all our peaceful protests. Just yesterday, we protested in front of RCB captain Virat Kohli’s house,but we left it soon knowing that Kohli is very well-known for his gestures and language,” he went on to add.

When Faking News tried to contact Siddharth Mallya to ascertain his views on the shocking incident, the RCB Director said, “Look, these are all petty issues, pop will handle it. Right now, I am busy suing Sourav Ganguly for mocking me publicly by blinking his eyes constantly.”

Meanwhile Vijay Mallya is trying to solve it with some diplomacy as it appeared to work in the Italian Marines’ case.

“RCB without Chris Gayle is like Team India without Sir Ravindra Jadeja, we just can’t afford to lose him,” said Vijay Mallya, “I appeal to the kidnappers to release him as it gives a bad name to our country. Money is not everything and we should put country’s interest before our personal ones.”

“Okay, he gets a Pepsi Sweet Talk Award for issuing such emotional statements, but right now we need the money,” said of the employees, showing no signs of relenting.

(Anil Sharma writes for www.fakingnews.com, from where the above article is reproduced with permission)

South Africa tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Jul 24, 2014 (10:00 IST)   at Colombo

Afghanistan tour of Zimbabwe, 2014

Jul 24, 2014 (12:30 IST)   at Bulawayo

India tour of England 2014

Jul 27, 2014 (15:30 IST)   at Southampton

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 6, 2014 (10:00 IST)   at Galle

India tour of England 2014

Aug 7, 2014 (15:30 IST)   at Manchester

More

Afghanistan tour of Zimbabwe, 2014

Jul 22, 2014  at Bulawayo

Afghanistan won by 2 wkts

Afghanistan tour of Zimbabwe, 2014

Jul 20, 2014  at Bulawayo

Zimbabwe won by 8 wkts

Afghanistan tour of Zimbabwe, 2014

Jul 18, 2014  at Bulawayo

Zimbabwe won by 6 wkts

India tour of England 2014

Jul 17, 2014  at London

India won by 95 runs

South Africa tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Jul 16, 2014  at Galle

South Africa won by 153 runs

Photos

Gallery: India vs England 2nd Test at Lord's

Videos

Alastair Cook jokes about his bowling

India’s wins in England — from 1971 to 2014

Ravindra Jadeja knighted by her majesty Queen Elizabeth II

India’s win over England in 2nd Test at Lord’s: Twitter reactions

Ishant Sharma pummels England into submission as India clinch Lord’s Test by 95 runs

Ishant Sharma registers name at Lord’s honours board, takes 6 wickets in 2nd Test against England

Bhuvneshwar Kumar England England vs India England vs India 2014 India India tour of England 2014 India vs England India vs England 2014 Ishant Sharma MS Dhoni South Africa South Africa tour of Sri Lanka 2014 Sri Lanka Sri Lanka vs South Africa Sri Lanka vs South Africa 2014

Sri Lanka to look for new coaching staff

MS Dhoni better wicketkeeeper than what he showed at Lord’s: Farokh Engineer

Sachin Tendulkar: Century at Perth in 1992 against Australia changed my career

Ishant Sharma latest to feature in Amul’s ad after India’s win in 2nd Test against England

Hashim Amla lauds Imran Tahir ahead of Sri Lanka vs South Africa second Test at Colombo

India vs England 3rd Test at The Ageas bowl: A sneak peek into England squad

Mohammad Irfan hopes Pakistani players will play in IPL

Stuart Binny and the selection conundrum for India’s third Test against England at Southampton

Can America be the ‘Land of Opportunity’ for cricket?

Graham Gooch’s fabulous numbers in all forms of cricket

Fan of the Day

Fan Cricket

Fan Cricket

11 Posts | 2 Fans

Brazil vs Netherlands, 3rd place Fifa World Cup 2014 match Video Highlights

Types of kisses – how many have you tried?

MS Dhoni better wicketkeeeper than what he showed at Lord’s: Farokh Engineer

Rangrasiya: Paro aka Sanaya Irani to die and comeback with a makeover

Idea offers free web pass to its users on Opera Mini

HRD minister Smriti Irani says 6,251 teachers’ posts vacant in central varsities

How many Xiaomi Mi 3 units did Flipkart sell in India?

Mandira Bedi launches children’s toy brand!

Beauty Tip #25: How to select the right shade of foundation

Sri Lanka to look for new coaching staff

Android launches Walking Tours App for tourists in India!

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here