Apparently it took 17 men and a cargo truck to abduct Chris Gayle (above) © Getty Images
By Anil Sharma
Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction
The intermittent protests by the Kingfisher Airlines employees took an unexpected shape on when late on Tuesday a few of their employees kidnapped Chris Gayle, the hard-hitting batsman of Royal Challengers Bangalore — the team owned by hard-hit Vijay Mallya.
Sources say that the employees have once again demanded their dues, this time as ransom.
The 33-year-old West Indian cricketer was kidnapped by the employees when he was heading toward the Chinnaswamy Stadium from his hotel room for net practice. RCB is playing their first match on April 4 against Mumbai Indians.
”We chose Chris Gayle because without him, Vijay Mallya’s team is nothing. Hopefully he appreciates the value of Chris Gayle and doesn’t treat him like he has treated us. And if he doesn’t pay the ransom money, we will not let Gayle play any match,” an employee stated.
According to the employees, kidnapping Chris Gayle was not an easy job. Apparently he was heavier than the debts on Vijay Mallya’s head.
“He looks slim and fit, but it took 17 men and a cargo truck to abduct him! It’d have been easier to lift and abduct the whole Ambani family, who are also in Bengaluru for the IPL [Indian Premier League] match, but then Reliance is not supposed to pay us!” another employee told Faking News.
“We know that it is against the law of the land, but we have had enough; Mallya sahib has been ignoring all our peaceful protests. Just yesterday, we protested in front of RCB captain Virat Kohli’s house,but we left it soon knowing that Kohli is very well-known for his gestures and language,” he went on to add.
When Faking News tried to contact Siddharth Mallya to ascertain his views on the shocking incident, the RCB Director said, “Look, these are all petty issues, pop will handle it. Right now, I am busy suing Sourav Ganguly for mocking me publicly by blinking his eyes constantly.”
Meanwhile Vijay Mallya is trying to solve it with some diplomacy as it appeared to work in the Italian Marines’ case.
“RCB without Chris Gayle is like Team India without Sir Ravindra Jadeja, we just can’t afford to lose him,” said Vijay Mallya, “I appeal to the kidnappers to release him as it gives a bad name to our country. Money is not everything and we should put country’s interest before our personal ones.”
“Okay, he gets a Pepsi Sweet Talk Award for issuing such emotional statements, but right now we need the money,” said of the employees, showing no signs of relenting.
(Anil Sharma writes for www.fakingnews.com, from where the above article is reproduced with permission)