Home > Features > Humour >

Kolkata fraudster awarded Cross of Valour for duping VVS Laxman

Hordes of Australians on the social media have promised a mexican wave welcome along the line of the Syndey Harbour Bridge to welcome Izazul Sheikh. (Inset: The Cross of Valour)
Hordes of Australians on the social media have promised a mexican wave welcome along the line of the Syndey Harbour Bridge to welcome Izazul Sheikh. (Inset: The Cross of Valour)

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

In a recent turn of events, Izazul Sheikh was nominated for the Cross of Valour on Sunday. Abhishek Mukherjee lauds the remarkable gesture of the Australian Government dished out towards a man who had been called a fraud in his own country.

The Cross of Valour (CV) is awarded “only for acts of the most conspicuous courage in circumstances of extreme peril”. Since its inception (as a replacement of British George Cross in 1975), there have been only five recipients of the award; no one has been awarded the CV since 2003.

Izazul Sheikh, the man from Salt Lake, Kolkata who had been arrested for siphoning a sum of a million rupees from VVS Laxman’s bank account, has been named for the award after an appeal from Mark Taylor, Steve Waugh, and Ricky Ponting that was supported by various others.

Glenn McGrath and Shane Warne, stalwarts of Australian bowling over the ages, had joined the mission as well. The Australian Government had initially turned down the appeal on the grounds that the recipient needs to be an Australian citizen to qualify for the award.

As the Government’s announcement came out, the social media erupted in dissent. The outcry led to protests on the Australian streets across the cities. “We consider Sheikh as one of our own,” said one of the protestors at Sydney, who had seen Laxman score 167, 178, and 109 in consecutive innings at that ground.

“That Hyderabadi had been the greatest enemy to our nation,” said yet another enraged demonstrator at The Gabba. “Even champions like McGrath and Warne had failed to subdue him. There had to be someone who would have the guts stand up to this Laxman. It’s a shame that his own country has got him arrested.” She even suspected The Board of Control for Cricket in India’s (BCCI) role in this.

Pressured by the vehement protests from the Australian cricketers and demonstrators, the Government finally yielded in the wee hours of Wednesday. It was announced that Sheikh would be granted Australian citizenship first. There have been exchanges between the two Governments since then, and the Indian Government has finally agreed to release Sheikh — especially after most Members of Parliament admitted that they could relate to Sheikh’s action.

Sheikh will subsequently become the sixth recipient of the award after Mr Darrell Tree (in 1989), Mr Victor Boscoe (in 1995), Senior Constable Allan Sparkes (in 1998), and Senior Constable Timothy Britten and Mr Richard Joyes (both in 2003). The cricket fraternity has also nominated his name for the Wisden Australia’s Cricketer of The Year — an award that had been discontinued since 2005-06 after the Australian version of the iconic almanac ceased to be published — as well as The Allan Border Medal.

Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC), meanwhile, has asked for the pin code number of Sheikh’s Indian residence. In a recent announcement ABC Chairman James Spigelman mentioned: “It is time to move on from Don Bradman. It has been ages since someone has rendered such incomparable service to Australian cricket. The ABC PO Box in every Australian state capital city has been 9994 till now. That is something that needs to be changed.”

(Abhishek Mukherjee is the Deputy Editor and Cricket Historian at CricketCountry. He blogs at http://ovshake.blogspot.in and can be followed on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/ovshake42)

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 6, 2014 (10:00 IST)   at Galle

India tour of England 2014

Aug 7, 2014 (15:30 IST)   at Manchester

South Africa in Zimbabwe, 2014

Aug 9, 2014 (13:30 IST)   at Harare

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 14, 2014 (10:00 IST)   at Colombo

India tour of England 2014

Aug 15, 2014 (15:30 IST)   at London

More

India tour of England 2014

Jul 27, 2014  at Southampton

England won by 266 runs

Afghanistan tour of Zimbabwe, 2014

Jul 24, 2014  at Bulawayo

Afghanistan won by 100 runs

South Africa tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Jul 24, 2014  at Colombo

Match drawn

Afghanistan tour of Zimbabwe, 2014

Jul 22, 2014  at Bulawayo

Afghanistan won by 2 wkts

Afghanistan tour of Zimbabwe, 2014

Jul 20, 2014  at Bulawayo

Zimbabwe won by 8 wkts

Photos

India vs England 2014, 3rd Test

Videos

Highlights of Phil Hughes' double ton

5 things you need to know about Graham Thorpe

India vs England 2014, 4th Test at Old Trafford: Ajinkya Rahane needs to play decisive role

10 little-known facts about Sir Frank Worrell

Statistical analysis of Jacques Kallis’s ODI career

England England vs India England vs India 2014 Ian Bell India India tour of England 2014 India vs England India vs England 2014 James Anderson Moeen Ali South Africa Sri Lanka

James Anderson, Ravindra Jadeja not found guilty by Judical Commissioner

James Anderson pleads guilty of pushing Ravindra Jadeja; says no malice intended

Ravindra Jadeja playing ahead of Ravichandran Ashwin in India’s tour of England a disaster, says Erapalli Prassana

Nasser Hussain praises Alastair Cook after victory in 3rd Test against India at Southampton

Bhuvneshwar Kumar’s swollen ankle worries MS Dhoni ahead of 4th Test at Old Trafford

An open letter to Pankaj Singh

India vs England 2014, 4th Test at Old Trafford: Should Umesh Yadav be sent as cover for Ishant Sharma?

5 things you need to know about Graham Thorpe

India vs England 2014, 4th Test at Old Trafford: Ajinkya Rahane needs to play decisive role

Faisal Iqbal: Political interference harmed my international career

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

658 Posts | 6 Fans

Sachin Tendulkar's nine dismissals against James Anderson

Justin Bieber to change house again!

Delhi shoppers more e-commerce savvy: Survey

Google most attractive employer among Asia-Pacific graduates

Prevent Diabetes Tip – get regular health check-ups

James Anderson pleads guilty of pushing Ravindra Jadeja; says no malice intended

Rafael to miss rest of Man Utd’s tour of the USA with groin injury

Matrix actor Hugo Weaving to team up with Ship of Theseus director Anand Gandhi

Ravindra Jadeja playing ahead of Ravichandran Ashwin in India’s tour of England a disaster, says Erapalli Prassana

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here