Lifeline for Rohit Sharma: BCCI to call all international matches as IPL matches to help the Mumbai batsman

Rohit Sharma got to hear about the lifeline he got from BCCI, despite the board wanting to keep it a secret from him. Picture above shows Rohit’s reaction on hearing about the lifeline he got! © Getty Images

By Indiapsycho
 
Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction 
 
In a major development, the international governing body of cricket BCCI [Board of Control for Cricket in India] has decided to rename all International matches that Indian team will  henceforth play as “IPL matches” in their last-ditch attempt to save the career of their blue-eyed boy Rohit Sharma.
 
“After diligently observing Rohit’s performance in all forms of cricket he has played, we found his record in IPL and Net Practice very impressive. Since it is not feasible to create nets in international matches, we have decided to call them IPL matches and we are confident this will bring a change in fortunes for Rohit Sharma,” a BCCI official explained.
 
“To make it look real for him, we will play all our matches, be it Test Match, ODI, or T20, in colorful IPL jerseys with cheerleaders around. We shall pay public to watch Test matches so that stadiums are full, giving it an IPL-like atmosphere. We have also decided to give Danny Morrison Indian citizenship and make him full-time member of commentary and Indian support staff. Our creative team under the leadership of Shri Rajiv Shukla is also thinking of few controversies that we will throw in time to time to completely replicate IPL-like atmosphere 365 days a year,” the official, who is also a member of IPL governing council told Faking News.

As always IPL chairman Rajiv Shukla was extremely eager to give sound-bytes and stormed our office when we did not approach him.
 
“This is slap on the face of all those who say BCCI is a selfish organisation which doesn’t care about the interests of cricketers. We have done a lot for Rohit Sharma. Not even Vashu Bhagnani does so much for his son,” he declared.
 
“We will obviously keep Rohit Sharma in dark about this development otherwise he might go back to his losing ways here too. And since we know Rohit Sharma is not that dumb to buy our claims of IPL being 12 month affair, we have decided to call the leftover matches as warm-up and practice games,” he added.
 
When asked what if this also fails to launch Rohit’s career, Rajiv Shukla said, “Then we will  withdraw membership of all Test playing nations and give Test status to talented (just like Rohit Sharma) nations like Uganda, Tunisia instead so that he faces an opposition as talented as him.”
 
“And if even this doesn’t work then we will have to agree with ICC over implementation of DRS ie (Defend Rohit Sharma) under which it will be mandatory for opposition to take his wicket 10 times to get him out,” he said.
 
When asked why such preferential treatment is meted out to only Rohit Sharma and not to somebody like Harbhajan Singh, Rajiv Shukla got angry and retorted, “We thought about Bhajji too. But he performs only in reality dance shows or McDowells ads. Now we cannot recreate that for him.”
 
Meanwhile, to deal with the ever-increasing bench strength, BCCI has also decided to launch BPL ie: Bench Premier League to keep the bench squad captained by Manoj Tiwary busy.
 
(Indiapsycho is a common man turned into a cynical psychopath by the system. “Sarcasm gives me Orgasm,” he says. His tweets att https://twitter.com/i_Psycho . The above article is reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)