Home > Features > Humour >

Lifeline for Rohit Sharma: BCCI to call all international matches as IPL matches to help the Mumbai batsman

Lifeline for Rohit Sharma: BCCI to call all international matches as IPL matches to help the Mumbai batsman

Rohit Sharma got to hear about the lifeline he got from BCCI, despite the board wanting to keep it a secret from him. Picture above shows Rohit’s reaction on hearing about the lifeline he got! © Getty Images

By Indiapsycho
 
Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction 
 
In a major development, the international governing body of cricket BCCI [Board of Control for Cricket in India] has decided to rename all International matches that Indian team will  henceforth play as “IPL matches” in their last-ditch attempt to save the career of their blue-eyed boy Rohit Sharma.
 
“After diligently observing Rohit’s performance in all forms of cricket he has played, we found his record in IPL and Net Practice very impressive. Since it is not feasible to create nets in international matches, we have decided to call them IPL matches and we are confident this will bring a change in fortunes for Rohit Sharma,” a BCCI official explained.
 
“To make it look real for him, we will play all our matches, be it Test Match, ODI, or T20, in colorful IPL jerseys with cheerleaders around. We shall pay public to watch Test matches so that stadiums are full, giving it an IPL-like atmosphere. We have also decided to give Danny Morrison Indian citizenship and make him full-time member of commentary and Indian support staff. Our creative team under the leadership of Shri Rajiv Shukla is also thinking of few controversies that we will throw in time to time to completely replicate IPL-like atmosphere 365 days a year,” the official, who is also a member of IPL governing council told Faking News.

As always IPL chairman Rajiv Shukla was extremely eager to give sound-bytes and stormed our office when we did not approach him.
 
“This is slap on the face of all those who say BCCI is a selfish organisation which doesn’t care about the interests of cricketers. We have done a lot for Rohit Sharma. Not even Vashu Bhagnani does so much for his son,” he declared.
 
“We will obviously keep Rohit Sharma in dark about this development otherwise he might go back to his losing ways here too. And since we know Rohit Sharma is not that dumb to buy our claims of IPL being 12 month affair, we have decided to call the leftover matches as warm-up and practice games,” he added.
 
When asked what if this also fails to launch Rohit’s career, Rajiv Shukla said, “Then we will  withdraw membership of all Test playing nations and give Test status to talented (just like Rohit Sharma) nations like Uganda, Tunisia instead so that he faces an opposition as talented as him.”
 
“And if even this doesn’t work then we will have to agree with ICC over implementation of DRS ie (Defend Rohit Sharma) under which it will be mandatory for opposition to take his wicket 10 times to get him out,” he said.
 
When asked why such preferential treatment is meted out to only Rohit Sharma and not to somebody like Harbhajan Singh, Rajiv Shukla got angry and retorted, “We thought about Bhajji too. But he performs only in reality dance shows or McDowells ads. Now we cannot recreate that for him.”
 
Meanwhile, to deal with the ever-increasing bench strength, BCCI has also decided to launch BPL ie: Bench Premier League to keep the bench squad captained by Manoj Tiwary busy.
 
(Indiapsycho is a common man turned into a cynical psychopath by the system. “Sarcasm gives me Orgasm,” he says. His tweets att https://twitter.com/i_Psycho . The above article is reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Dec 17, 2014 (14:00 IST)   at Centurion

India tour of Australia, 2014-15

Dec 17, 2014 (05:29 IST)   at Woolloongabba, Brisbane

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 19, 2014 (16:30 IST)   at Abu Dhabi

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (14:00 IST)   at Port Elizabeth

Sri Lanka tour of New Zealand, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (03:30 IST)   at Christchurch

More

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 17, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

New Zealand won by 7 runs

England tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Dec 16, 2014  at Colombo

Sri Lanka won by 87 runs

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 14, 2014  at Sharjah

Pakistan won by 147 runs

England tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Dec 13, 2014  at Pallekele

Sri Lanka won by 90 runs

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 12, 2014  at Sharjah

New Zealand won by 4 wkts

Photos

India vs Australia, 2nd Test at Brisbane

Videos

Josh Hazlewood looks back at his 5-wicket haul

India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane, Day 3: Mitchell Johnson, Steven Smith steady Australia

India vs Australia 2nd Test at Brisbane, Day 2: India’s familiar collapse, Umesh Yadav’s heroics and other highlights

South Africa vs West Indies,1st Test, Day 2 at Centurion: South Africa declare at 552 for 5

Murali Vijay, Ajinkya Rahane guide India to 311/4 against Australia on Day 1 of 1st Test at Brisbane

Australia India Ishant Sharma Moments in history Ravichandran Ashwin South Africa Virender Sehwag Yuvraj Singh

India vs Australia, 2nd Test at Brisbane, Day 3: Brad Haddin dismissed

India vs Australia, 2nd Test at Brisbane, Day 3: Ishant Sharma dismisses Mitchell Marsh

Live Streaming: India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane, Day 3

Live Scorecard: India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane, Day 3

Live Cricket Score: India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane, Day 3

World Cup 1987: Viv Richards decimates Sri Lanka at Karachi

India vs Australia 2nd Test at Brisbane: Steven Smith holds key for Australia

Josh Hazlewood’s relentless accuracy and subtle movement against India in 2nd Test at Brisbane augurs well for Australia

South Africa vs West Indies 2014, 1st Test at Centurion: Hashim Amla’s double-century and other statistics

India vs Australia 2nd Test at Brisbane, Day 2: India’s familiar collapse, Umesh Yadav’s heroics and other highlights

Fan of the Day

Suraj Gowda

Suraj Gowda

653 Posts | 10 Fans

India vs Australia: Murali Vijay's 144, Video highlights

प्रसिद्ध कथक नृत्यांगना सितारा देवी नहीं रही

More broadband connections to boost GDP growth in Asia Pacific: GSMA

India is becoming our largest overseas market, Xiaomi CEO Lei Jun says

Bigg Boss 8: Ali Quli Mirza, Renee Dhyani, Upen Patel, Praneet Bhatt, Sonali Raut – who should be evicted this week?

Revealed: The reason why Kishore Kumar’s biopic starring Ranbir Kapoor won’t feature Katrina Kaif!

अभिनेत्री प्रियंका चोपड़ा ने स्वच्छ भारत अभियान में हिस्सा लिया

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here