By Nitin Raj Nigam
Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction
In an anticipated development, Virat Kohli has unfriended actress Tamannaah from Facebook. Sources tell that Kohli took this extreme step after leaving the theatre — during interval — where he went to watch the latest Bollywood release Himmatwala.
Four days before the start of 2013 Indian Premier League, Kohli and the entire Royal Challengers Bangalore (RCB) team went to watch the movie Himmatwala as part of team building exercise. RCB sources tell that he also blocked Tamannaah on Twitter.
“As a captain it is my duty to keep the team in good mood and I thought what can be better than watching a Bollywood masala movie. After all Bollywood movies and IPL have so much in common. Both require you to keep your brain at home while going out to watch the entertainment,” explained a visibly harassed but candid Kohli.
“But at least IPL entertains. Since I did that Celkon mobile ad with her, she has been tagging me in all her Himmatwala promotion posts. So naturally my team mates asked me to introduce her. I though what can be better than having the team experience the charm. I had almost convinced Chris [Gayle] to chuck Ganganam Style moves and learn ‘Taki Taki’ while watching the movie promos. Since we came back after watching movie, Gayle stares at me like a wounded Tiger whenever I mention her name,” Virat added.
But there is a silver lining in the cloud as Siddharth Mallya explained, “We are looking for a Team Ambassador. After her movie didn’t do well, I am hoping to have Tamannaah on board for lower fee. We went bankrupt paying millions to Katrina [Kaif] and Deepika [Padukone] as team ambassador for five years. Also, since Virat is the captain, he will need to pose with team ambassador for Page 3 pictures. Tamannaah being short in height fits perfectly.”
Hearing about this development Kohli was heard talking to Fake IPL Player, “Ye dono baap bete bilkul kadki hain. Team Ambassador rehne do, cheer leader hire karne tak ki aukaat nahi hai. They have asked Gayle to double up as Cheerleader and do ‘
Taki Taki’ ‘Ganganam style’ moves whenever RCB player hits sixes or takes wickets!”
However there is good news for Sajid Khan and Himmatwala fans (i.e. Sajid Khan himself). This movie can become India’s entry to Oscars 2014. Mahesh Bhatt, told us — without being asked: “If you see the trend, any movie that features Tiger has a good chance at Oscars; look at ‘Life of Pi’. Another interesting fact is, last time ‘Barfi’ was selected, so naturally Himmatwala should be next in line.”
When this writer asked what is the connection between Barfi and Himmatwala, Bhatt explained that Barfi had so many scenes copied from other movies. While Himmatwala is a remake of itself. So it makes perfect sense to me.
Meanwhile Ajay Devgan also got severe treatment at his home. When movie reviews trickled in, Devgn was denied entry in his own house and was pleading his wife to open the door.
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