Home > Features > Humour >

Lou Vincent statement: Invocation of Shahrukh Khan a masterstroke on his part

Lou Vincent made a statement in which he accepted his guilt in fixing related activities © Getty Images
Lou Vincent made a statement in which he accepted his guilt in fixing related activities © Getty Images

For the first time since the match-fixing controversy broke out, perpetrator Lou Vincent spoke out to the general public. David Sidrat looks at the man and the statement that seemed unflinchingly honest in its apology.

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

“My name is Lou Vincent and I am a cheat.” If you have not heard or read that line yet, you probably live under a rock. Virtually every form of media associated with cricket — and a lot of them that have nothing to do with cricket whatsoever — have made banners of Vincent, with those words highlighted.

MNIK-628
“My name is Lou Vincent, and I am a cheat.” Oh wait, this isn’t it.

Expectedly, the reactions to his statement have been somewhat contorted. Some feel that this was no more than a publicity stunt from Vincent, while others believe it had shades of heart-felt repentance. Cases in point:

That Vincent is guilty is undoubted. But the fact that he has stood up and looked the cricketing world in the eye while confessing, speaks of a bravery that very few can boast of.

The one consistent idea that is repeated throughout his declaration is that while he is asking for forgiveness, he is not asking to be let off the hook. He knows that he cannot and will not be absolved, but he accepts it and is willing to face the consequences of his actions. So he is essentially the polar opposite of a certain reality dance show contestant who was part of two World Cup winning squads for his country.

Anyone who has, at some point in their lives, woken up unable to look at themselves in the morning would be able to identify with Vincent on some level. Here is a man who had to live with the crushing guilt of having betrayed the trust of an entire sporting nation every day of his life for months at a time.

Vincent’s revelations are shocking as he came across as a rather affable on the field. Here are a couple of videos showing just exactly why it is unlikely that Vincent is a criminal genius.

Criminal genii usually do not lose their pants while fielding or get smacked on the back of their skulls while standing peacefully. More often than not, they join parliament or take up commentating after the tide blows over.

And most importantly, they do not say things like: “I have shamed my country. I have shamed my sport. I have shamed those close to me…The decisions I made were wrong. Players must be better than that. Above reproach. For the fans. For the sport. For the first time in a very long time I feel positive about the future because I am finally becoming the man I wanted to be. I have to face up to my wrongs to make them right. I have kept my head down for too long now. This is my time to man up to my mistakes and today I can stand with a better conscience because I know I’m doing the right thing.”

Vincent is guilty and deserves punishment. As he says himself, he should never stand in front of a game again, or apply his skills to help future cricketers. He should be as far away from cricket as possible.

But the question that rankles: How long are we going to condemn only men like Hansie Cronje and Vincent Lou for at least had the conscience to admit their guilty while ignoring the fact that men with dubious credentials continue to play the game by hiding their sins and occupy high offices?

Catch all the stories on Lou Vincent‘s revelations on fixing here

(David Sidrat is the pen name of a would-be comedian who tries his best to be taken seriously and inadvertently fails in the process. He doesn’t quite see the irony of his life yet. He can’t figure out Twitter, and does not know what a Face Book is. He can therefore be found on neither platform)

Bangladesh Tour of West Indies, 2014

Sep 13, 2014 (19:30 IST)   at Gros Islet, St Lucia

World T20 League 2014

Sep 16, 2014 (16:00 IST)   at Raipur

World T20 League 2014

Sep 16, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Raipur

World T20 League 2014

Sep 17, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Hyderabad

World T20 League 2014

Sep 18, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Mohali

More

World T20 League 2014

Sep 14, 2014  at Raipur

Mumbai Indians won by 9 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 14, 2014  at Raipur

Northern Knights won by 72 runs

World T20 League 2014

Sep 13, 2014  at Raipur

Lahore Lions won by 6 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 13, 2014  at Raipur

Northern Knights won by 7 wkts

Scotland tour of Ireland, 2014

Sep 12, 2014  at Dublin

Scotland won by 8 wkts

Photos

India tour of England 2014: Highlights

Videos

Ryan Sidebottom credits the whole Yorkshire team

Kolkata Knight Riders in CLT20 2014: Heavyweights who stand an excellent chance of going the distance

Wasim Akram’s burgeoning voodoo continues to inspire left-arm pacers

Cape Cobras in CLT20 2014 Preview: South African unit high on quality

CLT20: A statistical overview

Rahul Dravid’s dismissal had infuriated Dilip Sardesai on his deathbed

Bangladesh Champions League T20 2014 CLT20 CLT20 2014 Lahore Lions vs Mumbai Indians Lahore vs MI MI vs Lahore Mumbai Indians Mumbai Indians vs Lahore Lions Mumbai Indians vs Southern Express Northern Knights Southern Express Southern Express vs Mumbai Indians West Indies West Indies vs Bangladesh 2014

Afghanistan arrive in Australia to commence preparations for ICC World Cup 2015

CLT20 2014: Southern Express lost out as conditions didn’t help spin, feels Jehan Mubarak

CLT20 2014: Chennai Super Kings players and support staff share special bond, says Suresh Raina

Saeed Ajmal suspension: John Wright backs Pakistan to tackle situation

ICC World Cup trophy tours Afghanistan

Kings XI Punjab in CLT20 2014 Preview: IPL runners-up aim to play entertaining cricket

Saeed Ajmal’s suspension: ICC catches big fish to send strong message on suspect actions

Kolkata Knight Riders in CLT20 2014: Heavyweights who stand an excellent chance of going the distance

Wasim Akram’s burgeoning voodoo continues to inspire left-arm pacers

PCB vows to put in own system to catch illegal actions at an early stage

Fan of the Day

Suraj Gowda

Suraj Gowda

635 Posts | 7 Fans

Yuvraj Singh in Anupam Kher show

जन्म देने की प्राचीन पद्धति को चाहती हैं अपनाना हॉलीवुड अभिनेत्री माइला क्युनिस

Coffee app turns job search into social experience

The Times of India challenges Hindustan Times’ claim of being No.1 in Delhi-NCR

Ranveer Singh, Priyanka Chopra and Arjun Kapoor support Deepika Padukone!

Jagran Film Festival 2014: Sunil Grover, Elli Avram, Rajneesh Duggal, who are the best and worst dressed? View pics!

अब भारत में मुँह के कैंसर का हो सकता है ऑपरेशन

Micromax Canvas A1 Android One smartphone: Price, specifications and features

Android One: Karbonn launches Karbonn Sparkle V Android One phone for Rs 6,399

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here