By Mad Scientist
Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.
In a bid to salvage the fast-sinking reputation of Indian cricket, the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) has acted decisively, even as India slumped towards a humiliating defeat to England at Eden Gardens.
Announcing a series of radical measures to bring back the lost glory of Indian cricket, BCCI President N Srinivasan dropped a bombshell by announcing that Mahendra Singh Dhoni has stepped down as India’s captain after five years at the top. But it was the choice of his successor that blew everybody’s mind away. The man taking over as India captain is 83 old Prabir Mukherjee, curator of the Eden Gardens.
Srinivasan revealed, “At an urgently-convened emergency meeting of the BCCI, members felt that the team needed a strong, opinionated man to shepherd Indian cricket through these stormy times – someone who did not depend on pitches or conditions or care about authority. It is widely-accepted fact that the Indian team is full of pampered superstars, many who are overweight or past their date. We needed a man who didn’t care about reputations, somebody who would call a spade an overweight spade.”
Readers of The Unreal Times might recall that Mr Mukherjee had famously taken on the BCCI, Dhoni and Cricket Association of Bengal by refusing to doctor a pitch to suit the home team’s whims and fancies.
CAB President Jagmohan Dalmiya sounded elated as he recalled, “In 1953 when Prabir was passed over for the Bengal Ranji Team, an astrologer had told him he would make it to the Indian Team instead one day. That day has finally come.”
In his honour, the Bengal Government immediately declared a 21-day lock-out of all government offices.
(Mad Scientist is a humorist with http://www.theunrealtimes.com/