Home > Features > Humour >

Manoj Tiwary and Manoj Tiwary: Pehchan kaun?

Manoj Tiwary and Manoj Tiwary: Pehchan kaun?

Manoj Tiwary: The cricketer (left) and the actor © AFP and Bollywoodlife/Yogen Shah

Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.

Manoj Tiwary should have been on cloud nine when he got the call for the India Test team against England. But he seemed to be downcast. When asked what the matter was, he gave a forlorn sigh and said, “It’s difficult being me. I have done enough on the domestic circuit. But all that I get to do is being the waterboy of the Test team.”

Tiwary went on, “Take a look at the second Test. You had Ravichandran Ashwin and Pragyan Ojha, yet Harbhajan Singh was also picked. I can bowl leg-spin and bring variety into the attack. I won a match for India with my match-winning four-wicket haul just a few months back in Sri Lanka. And I am a better batsman and field than Bhajji. Instead, I was warming the benches and reduced to a paaniwala.”

“Adding to my woes, were the incessant calls I kept getting to act in Bhojpuri films. Apparently the Bhojpuri film industry is picking up. So I thought its good news for me and landed up at the producer’s office. Turns out it was a complete misunderstanding and they were looking at signing up Manoj Tiwary the actor!”

I asked him, “Did you know that Manoj Tiwary the actor was going to build a temple for Sachin Tendulkar and Mahendra Singh Dhoni?”

“Yes,” replied Manoj Tiwary, the cricketer. “I know. Both Dhoni and Tendulkar called me up the next day to thank me. I didn’t know what to say. And then they found out it was not me and it was my more successful namesake. I’m paying for it now. “Poore career pe paani pher diya, water boy banake.”

I came to the defence of God: “But Tendulkar is not the one to carry grudges.”

Manoj Tiwary the cricketer gave me a nasty look, “Why do you think he’s not retiring. He knows I am next in line. You know, the problem started because of the confusion with names. It’s completely distracting. Did you know I even get death threats?”

Manoj Tiwary the cricketer then let me into a secret. “I guess you know that a political party had ransacked actor Manoj Tiwary’s home. That’s because they confused him with the spokesman of Congress party. Prior to that, they had called me and asked me where I live. I gave them the actor’s Mumbai address and they ransacked the place completely,” he said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“The next time someone quotes Shakespeare and says ‘What’s in a name?’, let him take a look at my life story,” said Manoj Tiwary, the cricketer, whose life could become a script for the Bhojpuri film industry starring Manoj Tiwary – the actor.

Stay tuned….

(Dhananjay Devasper is an “IT guy” by profession and a sports fanatic at heart. He has an unbridled passion for sports and Indian achievements in sport. Extremely opinionated, he attempts offering perspectives around sports which are simple to understand and easy to relate with)

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (14:00 IST)   at Port Elizabeth

Sri Lanka tour of New Zealand, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (03:30 IST)   at Christchurch

India tour of Australia, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (05:00 IST)   at Melbourne

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Jan 2, 2015 (14:00 IST)   at Cape Town

Sri Lanka tour of New Zealand, 2014-15

Jan 3, 2015 (03:30 IST)   at Wellington

More

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 19, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

New Zealand won by 68 runs

India tour of Australia, 2014-15

Dec 17, 2014  at Woolloongabba, Brisbane

Australia won by 4 wkts

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 17, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

New Zealand won by 7 runs

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Dec 17, 2014  at Centurion

South Africa won by an innings and 220 runs

England tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Dec 16, 2014  at Colombo

Sri Lanka won by 87 runs

Photos

India vs Australia, 2nd Test at Brisbane

Videos

Ind vs Aus: Dhoni analyses the 4-wicket loss at Brisbane

Live Cricket Score Ranji Trophy 2014-15, Round 3, Day 1 — All matches

India’s collapse against Australia on 2nd Test at Brisbane: Did the visitors really bat badly on Day 4?

India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane: Marks out of 10 for the hosts

India vs Australia 2014-15, Brisbane: India marks out of 10

India vs Australia, 2nd Test at Brisbane: India’s tail tales

Anil Kumble Australia India Moments in history Ricky Ponting South Africa

Shahid Afridi retirement: Twitter reaction

Shahid Afridi to retire from ODIs after 2015 World Cup: Report

Kevin Pietersen determined to make comeback despite selectors’ reluctance

Alastair Cook sacked in ‘hugely disrespectful’ manner: Andrew Strauss

India vs Australia 2014-15, 3rd Test at Melbourne: Joe Burns says dream come true to play for Australia

Pakistan vs New Zealand ODI series 2014: A look back at the series

Murali Vijay’s 144 among most runs scored by an Indian on Day 1 of overseas Test

Virat Kohli, Steve Smith and others scoring century on their Captaincy Debut in Test cricket

Batsman given hit wicket after mobile phone falls on stumps

India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane: Highlights

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

683 Posts | 6 Fans

Mitchell Johnson's 37 wickets against England in Ashes 2013-14

प्रसिद्ध कथक नृत्यांगना सितारा देवी नहीं रही

More broadband connections to boost GDP growth in Asia Pacific: GSMA

India is becoming our largest overseas market, Xiaomi CEO Lei Jun says

Bigg Boss 8: Ali Quli Mirza, Renee Dhyani, Upen Patel, Praneet Bhatt, Sonali Raut – who should be evicted this week?

Revealed: The reason why Kishore Kumar’s biopic starring Ranbir Kapoor won’t feature Katrina Kaif!

अभिनेत्री प्रियंका चोपड़ा ने स्वच्छ भारत अभियान में हिस्सा लिया

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here