Misbah-ul-Haq fields questions from the media © Getty Images
By UnReal Mama
Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction
Although Pakistan managed to comfortably lose the third One-Day International (ODI), an irate Misbah-ul-Haq lodged a complaint with the International Cricket Council (ICC) against the Indian team for posting a paltry score of 167, which made it exceedingly difficult for his batsmen not to chase down.
“Before the second innings, the boys appeared downcast,” recalled Misbah, “saying it’s going to be very difficult to lose this match. I told them that we have nothing to win and could still pull off an incredible defeat from the jaws of victory if we applied ourselves to the task on hand.”
Misbah led from the front with a dour and unintelligent captain’s knock, scoring 39 off 82 balls, which laid the foundation for the subsequent batting implosion. The Pakistani skipper attributed the magnificent defeat to the batsmen, singling out the tailenders for letting the pressure get to them. “Young Junaid showed maturity far beyond his years by getting run out at a crucial moment. He’s a lad to watch out for.”
Admitting that it was difficult to lose matches with such a strong bowling attack, Misbah pleaded for patience. “The boys are relatively inexperienced. Please give them time to settle down and hopefully we’ll become more inconsistent and throw, I mean, lose matches going forward,” he observed before concluding the press interaction on a positive note by saying “the defeat was a much-needed morale booster after a string of pointless victories“.
In related news, Arvind Kejriwal threw a bombshell, claiming he would be exposing the entire Pakistan Team for match-fixing at Jantar Mantar on Monday. “I have solid evidence in the form of ball-by-ball Cricinfo commentary from the 3rd ODI to back my claim,” said the anti-corruption crusader.
(“Unreal Mama” is the pen name under which CS Krishna and Karthik Laxman, the founding editors of The Unreal Times (www.theunrealtimes.com ), write fictional news reports, dressing room conversations and other such articles marrying humour with satire. The Unreal Times is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal and the article above is reproduced with permission)