Home > Features > Humour >

Mulayam’s U-turn on FDI issue earns him the third spinner’s spot for the fourth Test against England!

Mulayam's U-turn on FDI issue earns him the third's spinner spot for the fourth Test against England!

The inclusion of 73-year-old Mulayam Singh Yadav (above) in the Indian team for the fourth Test came as a huge relief to Sachin Tendulkar, who will now be spared of people asking him when he will retire because he is 39.

Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.

By Amrut Thobbi

Samajwadi Party (SP) chief Mulayam Singh Yadav stunned the Lok Sabha by taking a U-Turn on the Foreign Direct Investment (FDI) issue by abstaining from the ‘FDI voting’ in Parliament, which was contrary to his earlier vehement opposition. By quickly changing colours like a chameleon, Mulayam might have drawn the ire of the opposition party, but he has impressed the Indian selectors and the team management, who have included him as the third spinner for the fourth Test match at Nagpur against England as the third spinner.

A source close to the Indian selection panel revealed that the selectors are mighty impressed by Mulayam’s deceptive abilities. “We thought Ravichandran Ashwin and Pragyan Ojha would be sufficient to cast magic their spell on the English spinners but it seems that the visitors were well prepared for the conventional Indian spin. We feel it’s time to think out of the box and do something different for the final Test match. Irrespective of the outcome of the ongoing Kolkata Test match, we are sure to include Mulayamji in the team as our trump card and hope he leaves Alastair Cook and Co. ‘spell-bound’ with his U-Turn.”

When reporters quizzed Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) spokesperson and parliamentarian Rajiv Shukla on the possibility of including the politician in the Indian team, he said: “All I have to say is that we live in a democracy. If cricketers can become politicians, then politicians can play cricket as well.”
After India’s futile attempts to get Alastair Cook out on the second day of the third Test match, the Indian captain MS Dhoni too gave his stamp of approval over the move in hope of some miracle in the final Test. A source close to the Indian team said that Dhoni may not have received a pitch at the Eden Gardens that turns 90 degrees from Day One, but he is now confident that with Mulayamji in the team, who can turn the ball in a U-curve, he will not need a rank turner!

Meanwhile Australian spin legend Shane Warne, who earlier brushed aside the rumours of his comeback to international cricket found inspiration in Mulayam’s possible entry into cricket. “Mate, if something like that can happen in India, why can’t I play the Ashes? I am definitely making a comeback now,” he said.

Many political pundits feel the move by the Indian selectors will definitely turn out to be a masterstroke. A political analyst said, “Mulayamji has the ability to turn the entire political scenario upside down. For him, getting Cook and Co. out with his U-Turn won’t be a big issue. Watch out for the Indian version of the ‘ball of the century’!”

When asked about the logic of a politician taking field against professional cricketers, the analyst guffawed, “A team of a ‘Kohli’ (fisherman), a ‘Gautam’ Buddha, a God (SRT), a ‘Yuvraj’ (Prince), and these days, a Pujara (Clergyman) is not good enough to beat a team led by a ‘Cook’! Then there is no harm in giving the seasoned politician a chance.”

Success or not, the selection of the 73-year old Mulayam might be a sigh of relief for fans of the ageing Sachin Tendulkar, for no one would now ask for his retirement just because he is ‘too old’!

(Amrut Thobbi, an engineering graduate and a Masters in Communication & Journalism, is an ardent cricket fan who likes to write spoofs. His passion for writing inspired him to give up a sales and marketing job, which he does not regret. He has also worked as a freelance writer in education and technology sectors. He can be followed on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/amrut.thobbi and on Twitter athttps://twitter.com/amrutti)

South Africa tour of Australia, 2014

Nov 23, 2014 (08:50 IST)   at Sydney

Zimbabwe tour of Bangladesh, 2014

Nov 23, 2014 (12:00 IST)   at Chittagong

India tour of Australia 2014, Practice matches

Nov 24, 2014 (05:29 IST)   at Glenelg, Adelaide

Hong Kong tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Nov 24, 2014 (10:00 IST)   at Colombo

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Nov 26, 2014 (11:30 IST)   at Sharjah

More

Hong Kong tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Nov 22, 2014  at Dambulla

Match abandoned without a ball being bowled

Hong Kong tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Nov 21, 2014  at Dambulla

Match abandoned without a ball being bowled

Zimbabwe tour of Bangladesh, 2014

Nov 21, 2014  at Chittagong

Bangladesh won by 87 runs

South Africa tour of Australia, 2014

Nov 21, 2014  at Melbourne

Australia won by 3 wkts

Hong Kong tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Nov 20, 2014  at Dambulla

Match abandoned without a ball being bowled(Match rescheduled to 21/11/2014)

Photos

Australia vs South Africa, 3rd ODI at Canberra

Videos

SL vs Eng: Buttler practices wicketkeeping in nets

PCB’s biggest challenge is to bring back international cricket to Pakistan: Subhan Ahmad

Tim Southee’s 50 Test sixes and related records

India vs Australia 2014: India may have heavy dose of pace in store in 1st Test

Ross Taylor’s crucial knock against Pakistan will boost his sub-par subcontinent record

Stuart Binny — can the all-rounder be a trump card for India in ODIs?

Australia Australia vs South Africa Australia vs South Africa 2014 India New Zealand New Zealand tour of UAE 2014 New Zealand vs Pakistan New Zealand vs Pakistan 2014 Pakistan Pakistan vs New Zealand Pakistan vs New Zealand 2014 South Africa South Africa tour of Australia 2014 South Africa vs Australia South Africa vs Australia 2014

Peter Oborne: Very important to revive international cricket in Pakistan

Live Cricket Score Australia vs South Africa 2014, 5th ODI at Sydney

Live Streaming: Australia vs South Africa, 5th ODI at Sydney

Live Scorecard: Australia vs South Africa, 5th ODI at Sydney

Bhuvneshwar Kumar says rhythm is key ahead of India’s tour of Australia 2014-15

Is Dhawal Kulkarni a contender for India’s ICC World Cup 2015 squad?

World Cup 1992: Arjuna Ranatunga masterminds first ever 300-plus ODI chase

India vs Australia 2014: How crucial are India’s practice games ahead of the first Test?

Rohit Sharma: India are serious contenders

South Africa may lose momentum ahead of ICC World Cup 2015

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

681 Posts | 6 Fans

Video Highlights: Virat Kohli vs Australian cricketers

Watch Free Live Streaming & Telecast of Indian Super League (ISL) 2014 Football 37th Match between Kerala Blasters FC vs Atletico de Kolkata

PK Tharki Chokro making: Rancho aka Aamir Khan and Munna Bhai aka Sanjay Dutt shake legs to this folk number

Simbu-Hansika’s Vaalu slated for Christmas release!

Yeh Hai Mohabbatein: Will Raman and Ishita help Mihika with her plans?

Alibaba to launch its Taobao marketplace in international markets: Reuters

8 reasons to add rosemary to your diet

eBay India ‘Black Friday’ sale kicks off today

How many calories do bananas have?

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here