Nagarajan Niranjana (celebrating) ran through England, taking 4 for 19 © Getty Images
India are currently trailing1-2 against England in their five-match Test series. On the other hand, India Women have a firm upper-hand in their one-off clash against England Women. The star for India Women has been pacer Nagarajan Niranjana. David Sidrat reports that the Indian men’s team has called her up for their final clash at The Oval.
Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction
There are currently two Indian teams in England, and only one of them can hold their heads high. India — the Women’s team — are currently 87 for six at the end of Day One of their one-off encounter with the England Women, trailing the hosts by just five runs. That England Women were bowled out for just 92 is due to an outstanding performance from Indian pacer Nagarajan Niranjana.
Niranjana bowled a marathon spell in the morning session, sending down 10 unchanged overs in the 21-over first session, thereby holding the distinction of having bowled from one end throughout the session. She ended with four wickets in the innings, and then followed it up with an unbeaten 13 that helped India recover from a precarious position of six for 65.
Following her amazing performance, the Indian men’s team called her up for the fifth Test at The Oval scheduled to start on August 15. An inside source in the Indian management said, “Nagarajan Niranjana has shown how to bowl effectively in English conditions. The way our men’s team has played, we desperately need someone who actually knows a thing or two about bowling well in England.”
Moreover, Niranjana’s tidy, composed batting means that she can bat ahead of Ravindra Jadeja in the next match. “She is a wonderful batswoman. She has the temperament to play the longest format. I think the younger players like Jaddu [Ravindra Jadeja], Chiku [Virat Kohli] and Chintu [Cheteshwar Pujara] can learn a lot from her,” said the same source.
Meanwhile, Niranjana herself was unavailable for comment, but a member of the India Women support staff was quoted to have said, “It is true, the BCCI sent a distress call to Niranjana after her stellar showing on the first day. We expect the match to be over by Day Two, so we agreed to help out the men by allowing them to get Niranjana from us. She will probably solve their all-rounder’s dilemma as well.”
Niranjana has put in a wonderful performance in the Test so far, and if she can continue in a similar vein, then India could well win the first Test they are playing in nearly eight years. Her performance is a huge boost to the women’s game in India, a fact that even the men’s team seem to have finally appreciated.
Complete coverage of India’s tour of England 2014
(David Sidrat is the pen name of a would-be comedian who tries his best to be taken seriously and inadvertently fails in the process. He doesn’t quite see the irony of his life yet. He can’t figure out Twitter, and does not know what a Face Book is. He can therefore be found on neither platform)