Home > Features > Humour >

Outlook features Ravi Shastri on its cover after Imran Khan makes cover of Time

Outlook features Ravi Shastri on its cover after Imran Khan makes cover of Time

Ravi Shastri has made it to the cover of Outlook magazine © UnReal Times

Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.
 
After Time Asia featured former cricketer turned politician, Imran Khan, on its cover in its December 14 edition, Outlook has followed suit by doing a cover story on former Indian Test cricketer-turned-commentator Ravi Shastri.

The Indian news magazine, which had previously  dubbed President Obama as ‘The Underachiever’ on its cover in response to Time doing the same to India’s Prime Minister, Dr. Manmohan Singh, was under considerable pressure to mount a ‘tit for tat’ response this time around as well. Finally, after much brainstorming, during which many names were considered and passed over, one of the editors suggested Ravi Shastri to which there was a murmur of approval and the editors high-fived each other.

Once we zeroed in on Ravi Shastri, the story pretty much wrote itself. The similarities between him and Imran are striking, though they may not be immediately obvious,” noted the Outlook editor. For instance, if Imran Khan addresses huge gatherings during his rallies, so does Ravi Shastri through his cricket commentary. And talking about ushering in social justice and eradicating corruption sounds as clichéd as ‘doing it in singles’, so both draw level as far as articulation of vision is concerned. “This underscores the point that Ravi is as much a mass leader in India as Imran is on the other side of the border,” noted the Outlook editor.

Their post retirement careers have evolved along similar lines as well. Imran was not taken seriously as a politician, while Shastri would be greeted by jeers from the stands. Now, of course, a match involving India seems incomplete without Shastri presiding over it, just as Imran is seen as the people’s choice to be the next Prime Minister of Pakistan. Over time, Imran has come to be regarded as the darling of the military establishment, taking a strident stand against drone strikes in FATA. Shastri, on the other hand, is the blue-eyed boy of the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI), touting their line in public, whether it is a categorical rejection of Decision Referral System (DRS) or passionate espousal of the Indian Premier League (IPL).

And there are the conquests off the field too. The Time article talks about half the people attending Imran’s rallies wanting to be like him and the other half wanting to sleep with him. “Well, Ravi’s been as much a ladies’ man as Imran was in his hey days,” counters the Outlook editor softly, “though I admit that now half the people listening to his commentary want to go to sleep.”

(“Unreal Mama” is the pen name under which CS Krishna and Karthik Laxman, the founding editors of The Unreal Times (www.theunrealtimes.com ), write fictional news reports, dressing room conversations and other such articles marrying humour with satire. The Unreal Times is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal and the article above is reproduced with permission)

Pakistan vs Australia in UAE, 2014

Oct 30, 2014 (11:30 IST)   at Abu Dhabi

Sri Lanka tour of India, 2014

Nov 2, 2014 (13:30 IST)   at Cuttack

Zimbabwe tour of Bangladesh, 2014

Nov 3, 2014 (09:00 IST)   at Khulna

South Africa tour of Australia, 2014

Nov 5, 2014 (14:05 IST)   at Adelaide

Sri Lanka tour of India, 2014

Nov 6, 2014 (13:30 IST)   at Ahmedabad

More

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Nov 15, 2014  at Ahmedabad

Match cancelled

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Nov 7, 2014  at Bengaluru

Match cancelled

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Oct 30, 2014  at Hyderabad

Match cancelled

South Africa tour of New Zealand, 2014

Oct 27, 2014  at Hamilton

No result

Zimbabwe tour of Bangladesh, 2014

Oct 25, 2014  at Dhaka

Bangladesh won by 3 wkts

Photos

Pakistan vs Australia, 2nd Test

Videos

Tendulkar provides teaser on upcoming book

Live Cricket Score Duleep Trophy Central Zone vs South Zone, final at Delhi Day 4: Pragyan Ojha dismisses Mahesh Rawat; Central Zone 219 for 5

Live Cricket Score: Pakistan vs Australia, 2nd Test, Day 3 at Abu Dhabi

Don Bradman dismissed twice on the same day

Rohit Sharma looks to strengthen career after an inconsistent year

Yuvraj Singh — have we seen the last of the man who won India three World Cups?

Australia Australia tour of UAE 2014 Australia vs Pakistan Australia vs Pakistan 2014 Central Zone Duleep Trophy Duleep Trophy 2014-15 India Pakistan Pakistan vs Australia Pakistan vs Australia 2014 South Zone South Zone vs Central Zone Sri Lanka Sri Lanka tour of India 2014

India vs Sri Lanka 2014: Muttiah Muralitharan insists Virat Kohli a huge asset for India

Duleep Trophy 2014-15 final: Robin Bist completes 4,000 First Class runs

Live Streaming: Pakistan vs Australia, 2nd Test, Day 3 at Abu Dhabi

Live Scorecard: Pakistan vs Australia, 2nd Test Day 3 at Abu Dhabi

Pakistan vs Australia Live Cricket Score, 2nd Test at Abu Dhabi Day 3

Don Bradman dismissed twice on the same day

Virat Kohli’s captaincy opportunities important in context of India’s succession plans

Rohit Sharma looks to strengthen career after an inconsistent year

Younis Khan equals Javed Miandad’s record of most 150+ scores by Pakistan batsman

India vs Sri Lanka 2014: Manish Pandey showing signs of fulfilling potential

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

678 Posts | 6 Fans

Video Highlights: Younis Khan century during Pakistan vs Australia 1st Test at Dubai

India A vs Sri Lanka: Fringe players look to impress

NGOs pursue education for all

Dance Basanti from Ungli: Put on your dancing shoes and practice the Basanti move!

Weight Loss Tip #59: Eat oranges to lose weight

Sensex surges 150 points in early trade to regain 27,000-mark

PricewaterhouseCoopers partners Google to offer business solutions to clients

Google X Lab working on nanoparticles to help detect diseases early

Priyanka Chopra has the best no make-up selfie on Instagram, think fans!

Lisa Haydon: I slept off midway while watching the original Shaukeen!

International programme in Animal Husbandry

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here