Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here

Home > Features > Humour >

Pakistan protests in unison for Kamran Akmal

Kamran Akmal © Getty Images
Kamran Akmal used to drop things even during his childhood days © Getty Images

 

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

 

Pakistan erupted in unison to support Kamran Akmal when he was not allowed to meet his brother Umar after the latter had been arrested. Abhishek Mukherjee investigates into the reasons for the nationwide protest.

 

It was a dark day for the Akmals. It had started off with Umar Akmal (usually referred to as The Man with the Green Lips) violating a signal near Gulberg’s Firdous Market in Lahore. When stopped by the traffic warden, Umar had apparently grabbed him by his neck and had ripped his uniform apart.

 

It was then that the protests had started: As a fan said, “He [Umar] is too polite a person to have taken a policeman hands-on; why, he had even been polite to the Zimbabweans when he had last played a Test — which was about two-and-a-half years ago. How can he take on a man of the law? It must have been the policeman’s fault!”

As soon as he got to know of the proceedings, Big Brother (as his brothers Adnan Akmal and Umar typically refer to Kamran Akmal at home) rushed to the rescue of his brother, who had been taken into police custody. Unfortunately, when Kamran reached the police station he was not allowed to meet Umar.

 

As word spread around the nation the Pakistanis reacted. Karachi and Lahore, Islamabad and Sialkot, Faisalabad and Peshawar all responded in unison. In response to the hostile protest launched by the Pakistan public, the Government responded with the words: “One can never be sure in these troubled times. What if Kamran had smuggled in arms or explosives, and the brethren had set off another act of terrorism triggered by some external agency?”

 

The public exploded (not literally: these are not the explosives the Government was talking about) as these words were aired on PTV. “You cannot accuse, or even dream of something like this: how can someone in their right frame of mind ask Kamran to carry anything safely?”

 

Adnan, the third of the brethren, agreed: “Kamran-Bhai always dropped things. In our childhood he used to drop me and Umar all the time — which is why ammi used to protect us from him. He was happy when she gave him a cricket ball to play with. The habit of dropping things did not stop: he used to drop the ball once every two or three minutes, but at least we would be safe.”

 

“He had tried a career in fast bowling. He had the pace and the attitude, but he had decided to switch career after dropping the ball twelve times during his run-up. The coach had advised him to switch roles,” said Adnan. “Both Umar and I could have become fast bowlers as well, but Kamran-Bhai would have been hurt. We could not have done that.”

 

The Pakistani cricket fans have maintained that there will be demonstrations all over the country till Kamran is allowed to meet Umar. They had been carrying banners, but unlike other demonstrations they kept dropping them during the processions as a respect to Kamran.

 

(Abhishek Mukherjee is the Deputy Editor and Cricket Historian at CricketCountry. He blogs at http://ovshake.blogspot.in and can be followed on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/ovshake42)

 

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 17, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Sharjah

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 18, 2014 (16:00 IST)   at Abu Dhabi

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 18, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Abu Dhabi

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 19, 2014 (16:00 IST)   at Dubai

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 19, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Dubai

More

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 16, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

Scores delayed by 15 mins Kolkata Knight Riders won by 41 runs

Womens World T20, 2014

Apr 6, 2014  at Dhaka

Australia Women won by 6 wkts

T20 WC 2014

Apr 6, 2014  at Dhaka

Sri Lanka won by 6 wkts

Womens World T20, 2014

Apr 4, 2014  at Dhaka

England Women won by 9 wkts

T20 WC 2014

Apr 4, 2014  at Dhaka

India won by 6 wkts

Photos

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge play cricket

Videos

Video Highlights: Mumbai Indians vs Kolkata Knight Riders wickets

IPL 7: Vintage Jacques Kallis showed his class for Kolkata Knight Riders against Mumbai Indians

IPL 2014: Onus on Chris Gayle to take Royal Challengers Bangalore all the way

IPL 2014: Capacity crowd at UAE provides glimpse of the T20 league’s huge following

Narendra Modi’s tea-vendor origin influences MS Dhoni in calling laundrymen to clean up BCCI mess

Delhi Daredevils vs Royal Challengers Bangalore IPL 2014 Preview: RCB have advantage over DD sans Kevin Pietersen

Australia BCCI England India IPL IPL 7 IPL 2014 Kolkata Knight Riders Lasith Malinga Moments in history Mumbai Indians Mumbai Indians vs Kolkata Knight Riders Royal Challengers Bangalore Sachin Tendulkar

IPL 2014: High Court stays Delhi government tax demand from Delhi Daredevils

Kumar Sangakkara on Durham’s radar for County Championship

IPL 2014: Delhi Daredevils ropes in RBL Bank as new partner

Rajasthan Royals aim to put spot-fixing controversies behind in IPL 2014 clash against Sunrisers Hyderabad

Sunrisers Hyderabad vs Rajasthan Royals IPL 2014 Preview: Familiar but tweaked line-ups looking for early momentum

Delhi Daredevils’ strong bench filled with talented Indian players could be key to success in IPL 7

IPL 7: Vintage Jacques Kallis showed his class for Kolkata Knight Riders against Mumbai Indians

IPL 2014: Onus on Chris Gayle to take Royal Challengers Bangalore all the way

IPL 2014: Royal Challengers Bangalore’s bowlers have their work cut out against Delhi Daredevils

IPL 2014: Capacity crowd at UAE provides glimpse of the T20 league’s huge following

Fan of the Day

Sudatta Mukherjee

Sudatta Mukherjee

1 Posts | 0 Fans

Mumbai Indians vs Kolkata Knight Riders IPL 2014 Video Highlights

Former Apple CEO John Sculley launches Obi Mobiles smartphone brand in India

Karnataka polls: 26 percent polling till noon

Narendra Modi an `encounter Chief Minister`: Chidambaram

BJP fields highest number of criminals in today’s poll

Alia Bhatt: If Shahrukh Khan and Salman Khan give a bad film, it will still make Rs 150 crore!

Telugu superstar Mahesh Babu supports TDP`s Jayadev

Online medical information – bane or boon for the healthcare system?

Sunrisers Hyderabad vs Rajasthan Royals IPL 2014 Preview: Familiar but tweaked line-ups looking for early momentum

Also on cricketcountry.com