Shane Watson announces his retirement from all forms of cricket — via three-slide PowerPoint Presentation!

An angry Shane Watson packs his cricketing kit for the last time © Getty Images

By Rahul Roushan

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

Australian all-rounder Shane Watson has become the first international cricketer to announce retirement via a PowerPoint presentation.

Usually cricketers address a press conference or issue a press release when they hang their boots, but Watson uploaded a three-slide PPT on SlideShare, where he announced that he had retired from all forms of cricket under coach Mickey Arthur.

His first slide read “Click to add title“, which suggested that Watson didn’t make a good presentation even while announcing retirement.

“He must have been pretty upset and in a hurry, so forgot to add title,” a member of the Australian cricket team tried to explain the rebel cricketer’s actions.

The second slide had the only bullet point saying “I have retired“, which made it clear that it was his retirement presentation.

However, the background of the second slide was a wallpaper of Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty, which briefly confused people if it hinted at retirement of Shilpa Shetty from acting.

“No, no, Shilpa is not retiring, assuming she’s active in Bollywood. I used a slide from the IPL [Indian Premier League] presentations, and I’d like to use this opportunity to clarify that I’d continue to play in the IPL, unless of course Mickey is given a contract by any IPL team,” Watson explained his second slide.

 

Shane Watson announces his retirement from all forms of cricket — via three-slide PowerPoint Presentation!

Shane Watson with his pregnant wife Lee Furlong © Getty Images

 
The third slide had the usual “Thanks. Any questions?” and a smiley of Mickey Mouse, the meaning and symbolism of which was not explained by the 31-year-old cricketer.

Cricket Australia didn’t comment on the development, though sources claim that Watson could be given a show-cause notice for adopting double standards while making presentations.

“He could have given a similar presentation to the coach too, and I’m sure the coach would have appreciated a presentation that is in line with on-field performance,” a Cricket Australia official told Faking News.

Meanwhile MBA students from round the world have welcomed the format of a PowerPoint presentation containing just three slides, including the introduction and thank-you slides.

“This is Twenty-20 format of a PowerPoint presentation; this must be encouraged!” said a student from one of the leading b-schools of India.

(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). He is the Managing Editor of Faking News. Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” The above post has been reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)

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