Home > Features > Humour >

Shane Watson announces his retirement from all forms of cricket — via three-slide PowerPoint Presentation!

Shane Watson announces his retirement from all forms of cricket — via three-slide PowerPoint Presentation!

An angry Shane Watson packs his cricketing kit for the last time © Getty Images

By Rahul Roushan

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

Australian all-rounder Shane Watson has become the first international cricketer to announce retirement via a PowerPoint presentation.

Usually cricketers address a press conference or issue a press release when they hang their boots, but Watson uploaded a three-slide PPT on SlideShare, where he announced that he had retired from all forms of cricket under coach Mickey Arthur.

His first slide read “Click to add title“, which suggested that Watson didn’t make a good presentation even while announcing retirement.

“He must have been pretty upset and in a hurry, so forgot to add title,” a member of the Australian cricket team tried to explain the rebel cricketer’s actions.

The second slide had the only bullet point saying “I have retired“, which made it clear that it was his retirement presentation.

However, the background of the second slide was a wallpaper of Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty, which briefly confused people if it hinted at retirement of Shilpa Shetty from acting.

“No, no, Shilpa is not retiring, assuming she’s active in Bollywood. I used a slide from the IPL [Indian Premier League] presentations, and I’d like to use this opportunity to clarify that I’d continue to play in the IPL, unless of course Mickey is given a contract by any IPL team,” Watson explained his second slide.

 

Shane Watson announces his retirement from all forms of cricket — via three-slide PowerPoint Presentation!

Shane Watson with his pregnant wife Lee Furlong © Getty Images

 
The third slide had the usual “Thanks. Any questions?” and a smiley of Mickey Mouse, the meaning and symbolism of which was not explained by the 31-year-old cricketer.

Cricket Australia didn’t comment on the development, though sources claim that Watson could be given a show-cause notice for adopting double standards while making presentations.

“He could have given a similar presentation to the coach too, and I’m sure the coach would have appreciated a presentation that is in line with on-field performance,” a Cricket Australia official told Faking News.

Meanwhile MBA students from round the world have welcomed the format of a PowerPoint presentation containing just three slides, including the introduction and thank-you slides.

“This is Twenty-20 format of a PowerPoint presentation; this must be encouraged!” said a student from one of the leading b-schools of India.

(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). He is the Managing Editor of Faking News. Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” The above post has been reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)

The Michael Clarke-Mickey Arthur Bombshell
 

India tour of Australia 2014, Practice matches

Nov 24, 2014 (05:29 IST)   at Glenelg, Adelaide

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Nov 26, 2014 (11:30 IST)   at Sharjah

India tour of Australia 2014, Practice matches

Nov 28, 2014 (05:29 IST)   at Adelaide

England tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Nov 29, 2014 (10:00 IST)   at Colombo

Deodhar Trophy, 2014-15

Nov 29, 2014 (14:30 IST)   at TBC

More

Afghanistan tour of UAE, 2014

Nov 28, 2014  at Dubai

United Arab Emirates won by 5 wkts

Zimbabwe tour of Bangladesh, 2014

Nov 28, 2014  at Dhaka

Bangladesh won by 21 runs

Zimbabwe tour of Bangladesh, 2014

Nov 26, 2014  at Dhaka

Bangladesh won by 124 runs

England tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Nov 26, 2014  at Colombo

Sri Lanka won by 25 runs

Hong Kong tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Nov 24, 2014  at Colombo

Hong Kong won by 2 wkts

Photos

Phil Hughes suffers head injury: In photos

Videos

Phil Hughes passes away: Video tribute

Sean Abbott will find the road ahead a living nightmare

Phillip Hughes’ death: What happens to India vs Australia Test series?

Phillip Hughes 63 not out, forever

Phil Hughes: Remembering his most memorable knocks

Phillip Hughes passes away: Crying for Phillip Hughes

Australia England India New Zealand New Zealand tour of UAE 2014 New Zealand vs Pakistan New Zealand vs Pakistan 2014 Pakistan Pakistan vs New Zealand Pakistan vs New Zealand 2014 Phil Hughes Phil Hughes Death Phil Hughes head injury Phillip Hughes Sri Lanka

India tour of Australia 2014-15: 1st Test set to be rescheduled as David Warner, Shane Watson and Brad Haddin not ready

UAE beat Afghanistan by 5-wickets in first ODI at Dubai

Bangladesh edge out Zimbabwe by 21 runs in 4th ODI at Dhaka

Phillip Hughes was destined for greatness: Steve Waugh

Afghanistan set 249-run target against UAE in 1st ODI at Dubai

Brendon McCullum smashes fastest Test century for New Zealand

Pakistan vs New Zealand, 3rd Test at Sharjah, Day Two: Statistical Highlights

Phillip Hughes’ death: Cricket resumes, but with a heavy heart

Bangladesh vs Zimbabwe 2014, 4th ODI at Dhaka: Highlights

Mushfiqur Rahim and Mohammad Mahmudullah record second-highest fifth wicket partnership for Bangladesh in ODIs

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

682 Posts | 6 Fans

Video: Phil Hughes suffers head injury, collapses on field during New South Wales vs South Australia tie

‘एक्शन-जैक्सन’ मूवी के लिए अजय देवगण ने कैसे वज़न घटाया

वज़न घटाने का नुस्ख़ा #43: वज्रासन से वज़न घटायें

India is becoming our largest overseas market, Xiaomi CEO Lei Jun says

More broadband connections to boost GDP growth in Asia Pacific: GSMA

Bigg Boss 8: OMG! Gautam Gulati draggd to the bathroom by Diandra Soares

Bigg Boss 8 highlights: Ali Quli Mirza left alone, Gautam Gulati gets special present from Diandra Soares

Fawad Khan birthday special: Top 3 performances of the handsome Pakistani actor!

Pakistan vs New Zealand 3rdTest, Day 2: 5 interesting highlights of the day’s play

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here