Home > Features > Humour >

Shane Watson announces his retirement from all forms of cricket — via three-slide PowerPoint Presentation!

Shane Watson announces his retirement from all forms of cricket — via three-slide PowerPoint Presentation!

An angry Shane Watson packs his cricketing kit for the last time © Getty Images

By Rahul Roushan

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

Australian all-rounder Shane Watson has become the first international cricketer to announce retirement via a PowerPoint presentation.

Usually cricketers address a press conference or issue a press release when they hang their boots, but Watson uploaded a three-slide PPT on SlideShare, where he announced that he had retired from all forms of cricket under coach Mickey Arthur.

His first slide read “Click to add title“, which suggested that Watson didn’t make a good presentation even while announcing retirement.

“He must have been pretty upset and in a hurry, so forgot to add title,” a member of the Australian cricket team tried to explain the rebel cricketer’s actions.

The second slide had the only bullet point saying “I have retired“, which made it clear that it was his retirement presentation.

However, the background of the second slide was a wallpaper of Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty, which briefly confused people if it hinted at retirement of Shilpa Shetty from acting.

“No, no, Shilpa is not retiring, assuming she’s active in Bollywood. I used a slide from the IPL [Indian Premier League] presentations, and I’d like to use this opportunity to clarify that I’d continue to play in the IPL, unless of course Mickey is given a contract by any IPL team,” Watson explained his second slide.

 

Shane Watson announces his retirement from all forms of cricket — via three-slide PowerPoint Presentation!

Shane Watson with his pregnant wife Lee Furlong © Getty Images

 
The third slide had the usual “Thanks. Any questions?” and a smiley of Mickey Mouse, the meaning and symbolism of which was not explained by the 31-year-old cricketer.

Cricket Australia didn’t comment on the development, though sources claim that Watson could be given a show-cause notice for adopting double standards while making presentations.

“He could have given a similar presentation to the coach too, and I’m sure the coach would have appreciated a presentation that is in line with on-field performance,” a Cricket Australia official told Faking News.

Meanwhile MBA students from round the world have welcomed the format of a PowerPoint presentation containing just three slides, including the introduction and thank-you slides.

“This is Twenty-20 format of a PowerPoint presentation; this must be encouraged!” said a student from one of the leading b-schools of India.

(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). He is the Managing Editor of Faking News. Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” The above post has been reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)

The Michael Clarke-Mickey Arthur Bombshell
 

South Africa in Zimbabwe, 2014

Aug 21, 2014 (13:00 IST)   at Bulawayo

Bangladesh Tour of West Indies, 2014

Aug 22, 2014 (19:00 IST)   at St George's, Grenada

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 23, 2014 (10:00 IST)   at Hambantota

India tour of England 2014

Aug 25, 2014 (15:00 IST)   at Bristol

Bangladesh Tour of West Indies, 2014

Aug 25, 2014 (00:00 IST)   at Basseterre, St Kitts

More

Bangladesh Tour of West Indies, 2014

Aug 20, 2014  at St George's, Grenada

West Indies won by 3 wkts

South Africa in Zimbabwe, 2014

Aug 19, 2014  at Bulawayo

South Africa won by 61 runs

South Africa in Zimbabwe, 2014

Aug 17, 2014  at Bulawayo

South Africa won by 93 runs

India tour of England 2014

Aug 15, 2014  at London

England won by an innings and 244 runs

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 14, 2014  at Colombo

Sri Lanka won by 105 runs

Photos

Highlights of Mahela Jayawardene’s Test career

Videos

Hughes explains technique behind cut shot

West Indies vs Bangladesh Live Cricket Score, 1st ODI at St George’s: West Indies win by 3 wickets

Len Pascoe: There was a hospital ward named after Jeff Thomson and me

India tour of Australia 2014-15: 5 ways India can avoid another overseas embarrassment

MS Dhoni can benefit from borrowing the ‘Sourav Ganguly School of leadership’

Ravi Shastri inspired confidence as player and captain: Will he do it in a coaching capacity?

England England vs India England vs India 2014 India India tour of England 2014 India vs England India vs England 2014 Pakistan Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka 2014 Pakistan vs Sri Lanka Pakistan vs Sri Lanka 2014 Sri Lanka Sri Lanka vs Pakistan Sri Lanka vs Pakistan 2014

Sachin Tendulkar’s Kerala Blasters pick Michael Chopra

BBL 2014-15: Brad Hogg to play for Perth Scorchers at 43

Live Streaming: Zimbabwe vs South Africa, 3rd ODI at Bulawayo

Live Cricket Score: Zimbabwe vs South Africa, 3rd ODI at Bulawayo

Live Scorecard: Zimbabwe vs South Africa, 3rd ODI at Bulawayo

India still in a position to succeed against England in ODIs

Alex Hales’ inclusion a positive move by England for ODI series against India

13 things you may not know about Ravi Shastri

India Women vs England Women — Despite Test win, India will face tough challenge in ODI series

Duncan Fletcher speaks out; explains why Team India failed in the Test series against England!

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

659 Posts | 6 Fans

India tour of England 2014: Sunil Gavaskar says Indian batsmen did not learn anything

9 warning symptoms of Ebola that you should know

DMK flays Pondy govt on MBBS quota issue

Ebola Facts: Top 7 myths busted

Apple iPad Air 2 could boast 2GB of RAM: Report

Film stars suit reality TV shows better: Juhi Chawla

Live Streaming: Zimbabwe vs South Africa, 3rd ODI at Bulawayo

Five reasons why the new Vine camera is awesome

Kangana Ranaut wants to grow as a person

Khoobsurat song Abhi Toh Party teaser: Sonam Kapoor, Fawad Khan and Badshah rock to the beats

BBL 2014-15: Brad Hogg to play for Perth Scorchers at 43

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here