Home > Features > Humour >

Shikhar Dhawan’s Mohali magic gives huge boost to tobacco industry!

Shikhar Dhawan’s Mohali magic gives huge boost to tobacco industry!

Shikhar Dhawan scored the fastest century on Test debut in the third Test between India and Australia at Mohali © PTI

Shikhar Dhawan erupted in an explosive debut Test hundred on March 16, 2013. Abhishek Mukherjee writes on how this has brought general elation to the owners of the tobacco companies all over India.

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

It has been a lean phase for the tobacco company owners all over the country. Several years back a law was passed banning the use of tobacco in public places including restaurants, bars, bus-stands, and even schools — the general breeding-ground for potential smokers all over the country. Not only that, the sale of tobacco products became prohibited within a certain diameter of all educational institutes.

The law had come as a major blow to the tobacco-sellers all over India at all levels — affecting manufacturers, wholesalers, and retailers in one way or the other. Even when they had prayed for a turnaround, the Government struck again, this time making it mandatory for any movie to show the phrase ‘Cigarette smoking is injurious to health’ or an equivalent before any Indian movie.

Additionally, the same phrase needed to be displayed every time a person uses any tobacco product on screen, even on television. The Government had even wanted to put up the same sign during iconic songs like the iconic beedi jalaile, but had, for some reason, decided to show some mercy.

The law had spelt doomsday for the tobacco industries as sales went down at an alarming rate. Owners of the big brands even contemplated leaving the country in pursuit of faraway lands full of hard-working, honest, and resilient tobacco users.

And then, on the third day of the ongoing India-Australia series, they finally found their messiah. Shikhar Dhawan smashed record after record as he scored a sparkling hundred on debut — bringing hope to an industry that had been languishing in the darkness of misery and were on the verge of giving up.

For the first time, a man named after a reputed gutkha brand had managed to score a Test hundred — and to manage something of the stature Dhawan has on March 16, 2013. They have found their hero, their potential blue-blooded pin-up boy who will bring about the much-awaited turnaround.

ITC Chairman and CEO Yogesh Chander Deveshwar, winner of the Padma Bhushan, has expressed his elation at Dhawan’s achievement. Educated by the fact that Dhawan is a brilliant player of the hook, ITC has decided to felicitate Dhawan with the prestigious The Hookah — the first of its kind.

“Dhawan has been a real boon to the industry”, said Yogesh in a press conference earlier on Saturday. “I hope he scales greater height and sets new standards for the country, thereby helping our industry to flourish.”

Ex-umpire Mark Benson, an earlier contender of the award, was not available for comments; sources suggest that he had hidden himself behind the hedges in his backyard.

Shikhar Dhawan magic at Mohali: Read all the stories here

(Abhishek Mukherjee is a cricket historian and Senior Cricket Writer at CricketCountry. He generally looks upon life as a journey involving two components – cricket and literature – though not as disjoint elements. A passionate follower of the history of the sport with an insatiable appetite for trivia and anecdotes, he has also a steady love affair with the incredible assortment of numbers that cricket has to offer. He also thinks he can bowl decent leg-breaks in street cricket, and blogs at http://ovshake.blogspot.in. He can be followed on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/ovshake and on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/ovshake42.)

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Sep 4, 2014 (13:00 IST)   at Harare

India tour of England 2014

Sep 5, 2014 (15:00 IST)   at Leeds

Bangladesh Tour of West Indies, 2014

Sep 5, 2014 (19:30 IST)   at Kingstown, St Vincent

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Sep 6, 2014 (13:00 IST)   at Harare

India tour of England 2014

Sep 7, 2014 (19:30 IST)   at Birmingham


Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Sep 2, 2014  at Harare

Australia won by 62 runs

India tour of England 2014

Sep 2, 2014  at Birmingham

India won by 9 wkts

Zimbabwe Triangular Series, 2014

Aug 31, 2014  at Harare

Zimbabwe won by 3 wkts

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 30, 2014  at Dambulla

SL won by 7 wkts (D/L method)

India tour of England 2014

Aug 30, 2014  at Nottingham

India won by 6 wkts


India vs England, 4th ODI at Edgbaston


Misbah disppointed with Pakistan's performance

India’s ODI series triumphs outside Asia — a statistical review

Ajinkya Rahane strengthens his case to open in ODIs; but will Rohit Sharma’s return push him back to No 4?

India vs England 2014, 4th ODI: Highlights

Ajinkya Rahane, Shikhar Dhawan complete comprehensive series win for India with 9-wicket win in 4th ODI

Mitchell Marsh records highest strike rate in an ODI innings for Australia against South Africa

Australia Australia and South Africa in Zimbabwe 2014 Australia vs Zimbabwe England England vs India England vs India 2014 India India tour of England 2014 India vs England India vs England 2014 Pakistan South Africa Zimbabwe Zimbabwe Triangular Series 2014 Zimbabwe vs Australia

ICC World Cup 2015: Visitors will only need to apply for one visa

Shikhar Dhawan: ODI series win in England huge confidence booster ahead of ICC World Cup 2015

an Botham, Graeme Swann livid with England’s performance

Shikhar Dhawan credits Team India and Ravi Shastri for good show in 4th ODI against England at Edgbaston

MS Dhoni lauds team India after their ODI series victory against England

Tillakaratne Dilshan, Tony Grieg, Vinoo Mankad and other cricketers who made it to the cricket lexicon

Johnny Won’t Hit Today – The tale of JWHT Douglas

14 greatest upsets in ODIs — Part 1

Faf du Plessis shows his grit with twin tons against Australia in Zimbabwe Triangular Series

India’s ODI series triumphs outside Asia — a statistical review

Fan of the Day

Suraj Gowda

Suraj Gowda

628 Posts | 7 Fans

Thilan Samaraweera finds an unusual way to get stumped

Maruti Suzuki Ciaz launch: Price expected to start from Rs 7 lakh

India vs England: Ian Botham and Graeme Swann slams hosts for embarrassing ODI display

Living in an abusive relationship – when is it time to quit?

MS Dhoni says Indian batting has improved in ODIs

International programme in Animal Husbandry

HTC doubles free Google Drive storage from 50GB to 100GB in select smartphones for new and existing users

Health Minister Harsh Vardhan confident to eradicate kala-azar by 2015

Anushka Sharma or Kareena Kapoor Khan: Who makes a better bride?

Dharmendra’s Double Di Trouble a big success

NGOs pursue education for all

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here