Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here

Home > Features > Humour >

Talks for staging Aman Ki Asha Test series fail; Pakistan board officials walk out of meeting with BCCI

Talks for staging Aman Ki Asha Test series fail; Pakistan board officials walk out of meeting with BCCI

N Srinivasan (left) and Zaka Ashraf © AFP & Getty Images

By Amrut Thobbi

Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.

The just-concluded India-Pakistan One-Day International (ODI) series failed to live up to its high-profile billing, thanks to India’s below-par performance. 

Worried officials of the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) and the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) met on Wednesday to take stock of the situation and come up with a solution that will heighten the interest levels among fans on either side of the border.

Exclusive excerpts of the meeting in New Delhi between BCCI and PCB officials to discuss the future of bilateral cricket between India and Pakistan:
 
BCCI chief N Srinivasan: Gentlemen, thank you for coming to the meeting. First of all, Mr  Ashraf saab (PCB chief), I would like to extend our heartiest congratulations to you and your team. I must say it was fantastic win.

Zaka Ashraf: Thank you, Mr Srinivasan for your kind words as well as your hospitality. Now that we have had a successful limited-overs series, it’s only logical that the way forward would be for resumption of Test series as well. We should hype the series to catch the attention of the entire world. Something like Ash.
 
N Srinivasan: Ash? You mean you want a global attraction like Aishwarya Rai?
 
Zaka Ashraf: Did I say Ash? Oh! It’s a Freudian slip. It’s Pakistan’s fixation with Bollywood, you see! (Ha ha ha ha). What I meant was a Pakistan-India series should be like the Ashes.

N Srinivasan:  Ashraf saab, the emotional churn that an India-Pakistan cricket match offers is way ahead of any Ashes encounter. If need be, we can have the Indian Premier League (IPL) clashing with the Ashes and lure the key players with big money to dilute the interest in the Ashes. I can assure you that our marketing team can whip up unprecedented levels of excitement for the proposed India-Pakistan Test series.

Zaka Ashraf: I have no doubt about that, Mr Srinivasan. We have seen how you have made the IPL into a global phenomenon.

N Srinivasan: What can we call the proposed Test series?

Rajiv Shukla (excitedly): How about an Aman iss-series? The theme of this iss-series will  promote Aman (peace) between the two countries.
 
N Srinivasan: Great concept, Rajiv. There is more to life than cricket.
 
Srinivasan whispers into Rajiv Shukla’s ears, “Plus it will provide a lifeline for MS’s captaincy!” and smiles

N Srinivasan: I like Rajiv’s proposal, Ashraaf saab. It’s a win-win situation, you see. If our team wins, the nation is happy. If our team loses, we can always ask fans to look beyond victory and defeat and talk about the greater purpose the series does for fostering peace between the two countries.

Now Rajiv Shukla whispers into Srinivasan’s ears, “I thought of this because it also gives us board officials a lifeline”.

Zaka Ashraf: Sounds great. But before we sign on the papers, there are two things that I need to know: One, will your government give the necessary permission. Two, the sponsors. Finding a good sponsor for a Test series has become difficult these days.
 
Rajiv Shukla: Well, as far as government permission is considered, you don’t have to worry. I will talk to Soniaji and get it. As far as the sponsors are concerned, there is no dearth.

N Srinivasan: Gentleman, let’s break for lunch and resume in an hour’s time.

Officials quickly make a beeline for the buffet and get back to their respective seats an hour later.

N Srinivasan: I hope everybody had a good lunch.

Zaka Ashraf: As always, Mr Srinivasan. Coming to the point we….

Rajiv Shukla’s cell phone rings and interrupts Ashraf.

Rajiv Shukla: Hello… How are you?…How did you know that we are hosting an Aman series?… Ok, fine! Don’t scream. I will get back to you soon on this.

N Srinivasan: What happened, Rajiv? Who was it?
 
Rajiv Shukla: It was Arnab Goswami! He somehow came to know about The Aman series. He wants us to assign his channel media rights for exclusive interviews.
 
Zaka Ashraf: What? Arnab Goswami!!!! You mean the same guy who butchers people on his show! No way! I’m sorry, we can’t do this series. Sorry, but we are out of here! The meeting is over for us.
 
Ashraf along with his Pakistani compatriots vacated the room in a huff, leaving Srinivasan and the company totally stunned.
 
The nation will know more tonight on this developing story from Arnab Goswami. Don’t forget to tune in to Newshour tonight to watch the Aman Ki Ashes (Destruction of Peace) story.

(Amrut Thobbi, an engineering graduate and a Masters in Communication & Journalism, is an ardent cricket fan who likes to write spoofs. His passion for writing inspired him to give up a sales and marketing job, which he does not regret. He has also worked as a freelance writer in education and technology sectors. He can be followed on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/amrut.thobbi and on Twitter at https://twitter.com/amrutti)

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 24, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Sharjah

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 25, 2014 (16:00 IST)   at Dubai

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 25, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Dubai

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 26, 2014 (16:00 IST)   at Abu Dhabi

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 26, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Abu Dhabi

More

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 23, 2014  at Dubai

Chennai Super Kings won by 7 runs

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 22, 2014  at Sharjah

Kings XI Punjab won by 72 runs

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 21, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

Chennai Super Kings won by 93 runs

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 20, 2014  at Sharjah

Kings XI Punjab won by 7 wkts

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 19, 2014  at Dubai

Delhi Daredevils won by 4 wkts

Photos

CSK vs DD, IPL 2014 Match 8 at Abu Dhabi

Videos

IPL: Tanmay Mishra talks shows the contents of his kit

Sachin Tendulkar — One of the hardest terms to optimise for any SEO professional

Sachin Tendulkar changed the fortunes of cricket journalists in India

Sachin Tendulkar — the greatest batsman of India

Sachin Tendulkar: A timeless fairytale

Sachin Tendulkar: The child, the father, but sexy? Not quite

Chennai Super Kings Delhi Daredevils Glenn Maxwell India IPL IPL 7 IPL 2014 Kings XI Punjab Kolkata Knight Riders MS Dhoni Rajasthan Royals Royal Challengers Bangalore RR vs CSK 2014 Sanju Samson Sunrisers Hyderabad

PCB change Muhammad Akram’s role from bowling coach to national selector

RCB need 18 off the last 2 overs against KKR

RCB lose Virat Kohli bust stay in control against KKR

Virat Kohli, Yuvraj Singh keep RCB ahead in chase of 151 against KKR in Match 11 of IPL 2014

RCB keep up the run rate in chase of 150 against KKR in IPL 2014

Sachin Tendulkar given out off a wrong replay on his birthday in IPL 2011

Happy birthday! A bouquet of CricketCountry’s best Sachin Tendulkar features

Sachin Tendulkar – The century of centuries in tweets

Sachin Tendulkar — One of the hardest terms to optimise for any SEO professional

Sachin Tendulkar changed the fortunes of cricket journalists in India

Fan of the Day

Suraj Gowda

Suraj Gowda

622 Posts | 7 Fans

Video Highlights: Virat Kohli's 77 during India vs Sri Lanka ICC World T20 2014 final at Dhaka

Vic Gundotra, Google+ head leaves company

Are Himesh Reshammiya and Yo Yo Honey Singh overconfident about The Xpose?

Live Score Update, IPL 2014, Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) vs Royal Challengers Bangalore (RCB): Bangalore 123/3 after 16 Overs

Samsung denies slashing Galaxy S5 price in India, price shoots up on Flipkart

Entertainment Ke Liye Kuch Bhi Karega promo: Anu Malik-Farah Khan return to small screen with their signature shayaris!

Tamil Nadu polls witness interesting incidents

Also on cricketcountry.com