Home > Features > Humour >

Tarun Tejpal apologises to Shoma Chaudhury for running out the non-striker in Tehelka vs NDTV match

The match between NDTV and Tehelka was precariously poised when Tarun Tejpal, in a dash of madness Left his non-striker standed in the middle after attempting an impossible single © PTI
The match between NDTV and Tehelka was precariously poised when Tarun Tejpal, in a dash of madness 3eft his non-striker stranded in the middle after attempting an impossible single © PTI

By Pankaj Vaidya

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

It has come to light that Tarun Tejpal’s infamous letter of contrition was a modified version of an earlier letter he had written by way of apology to Shoma Chaudhury for running out the non-striker. The occasion was the semi-finals of the JD Goenka Inter-Media Cricket Tournament featuring top media houses. Tehelka was playing against NDTV and it was the third day’s play. NDTV XI had declared after posting a mammoth 540, with skipper Sreenivasan Jain leading from the front with a magnificent, unbeaten 176, taking his aggregate in the tournament to 2002.

Tehelka fought tenaciously in reply and at 420 for six with skipper Tejpal still at the crease. The match was precariously poised when Tejpal, in a dash of madness, extreme idiocy, height of imbecility, apogee of lunacy, rush of adrenaline, call it what you will, scythed the ball straight to backward point and set out in a harebrained manner for a non-existent single only to turn around and scamper back to his crease, leaving non-striker, Aniruddha Bahal, stranded in the middle.

Vikram Chandra is not the quickest of fielders, but he displayed unusual agility in gathering the ball and, in the split of a second, throwing it to the non-striker’s end to run out Bahal. After the Cobrapost CEO had hissed and slithered away, a downcast Tejpal, during the subsequent drinks break, penned this letter to team manager Shoma, which would provide the template for the more famous letter he would release a few years later for an even more egregious offence.

Tarun Tejpal’s letter to Shoma Chaudhury:

My dear Shoma,

The last over have been most testing, and I take the blame for hitting the ball too squarely and directly into the hands of the fielder at backward point.

A bad lapse of judgment, an awful misreading of the situation, has led to an unfortunate run out which rails against all we believe in and bat for.

I have already unconditionally apologised for my misconduct to the concerned non striker but I feel impelled to atone further. Our score of 420 has been born and built, ball by ball, with my blood, toil, tears and sweat, and that of many other batsmen, against near-insurmountable bowling. Our batting has lived for and fought the bodyline bowling of the day, always on the side of the oppressed and the wronged, always on the side of equity and justice. Our fours and sixes have travelled the stands and changed spectator attitude and perceptions. Our style of batting has been a beacon for those who would do the right thing.

As the opening batsman, through bad and worse times, I have shielded the team and its batsmen from the opening bowlers and new ball and the inevitable bounce of the lush green wicket. I have always allowed every batsman’s natural game to flower and express itself. No one has ever been asked to do play in a way they don’t believe in.

I have always held that the team is infinitely more important than any of us batsmen. It is tragic, therefore, that in a lapse of judgment I have hurt our own high principles. Because it involves our team, and a sterling shared legacy of records, I feel atonement cannot be just words. I must do the penance that lacerates me. I am therefore offering to recuse myself from running between wickets for the next six overs.

You have always been a stellar coach and team manager, Shoma, and even as I apologise to you and all my other colleagues, for this unfortunate run out, I leave running between the wickets in your more than capable and safe hands.

In apology,

Tarun

(Pankaj Vaidya is passionate about reading, writing, computer programming, value investing, yoga, cycling and motorcycling. The above article is reproduced with permission from http://www.theunrealtimes.com/. The UnReal Times is one of the top websites for satire, spoof, parody and humour in India)

World T20 League 2014

Sep 23, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Raipur

World T20 League 2014

Sep 24, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Hyderabad

World T20 League 2014

Sep 25, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Bengaluru

World T20 League 2014

Sep 26, 2014 (16:00 IST)   at Mohali

World T20 League 2014

Sep 26, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Mohali

More

World T20 League 2014

Sep 22, 2014  at Bengaluru

Chennai Super Kings won by 54 runs

World T20 League 2014

Sep 21, 2014  at Hyderabad

Kolkata Knight Riders won by 4 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 21, 2014  at Hyderabad

Hobart Hurricanes won by 6 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 20, 2014  at Mohali

Kings XI Punjab won by 4 wkts

World T20 League 2014

Sep 20, 2014  at Mohali

Perth Scorchers won by 6 wkts

Photos

KXIP vs Hobart Hurricanes, Match 2 CLT20 2014

Videos

Kane, Devcich praise each others knock

Live Cricket Score Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Dolphins CLT20 2014 Match 8: CSK romp home by 54 runs

Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Dolphins, Match 8, CLT20 2014: Key Battles

Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Dolphins, Match 8, CLT20 2014: CSK’s likely XI

Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Dolphins, Match 8, CLT20 2014: Dolphins’ likely XI

Champions League T20 (CLT20) 2014: Kuldeep Yadav’s dramatic debut for Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) shows he is one for the future

Asian Games Asian Games 2014 Cape Cobras Champions League T20 2014 Chennai Super Kings CLT20 CLT20 2014 Dolphins Hobart Hurricanes Incheon Asian Games India at Asian Games 2014 Kings XI Punjab

Anandji Dossa passes away

Chennai Super Kings (CSK) romp to 54-run win against Dolphins in CLT20 2014 Match 8 at Bangalore

Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Dolphins CLT20 2014 Match 8 at Bengaluru: Vaughn van Jaarsveld dismissed

Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Dolphins CLT20 2014 Match 8 at Bengaluru: Cody Chetty dismmised by Dwayne Bravo

List of highest innings’ totals in CLT20 and overall T20 cricket

List of highest innings’ totals in CLT20 and overall T20 cricket

Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Dolphins, Match 8, CLT20 2014: Key Battles

Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Dolphins, Match 8, CLT20 2014: CSK’s likely XI

Jalaluddin takes first ODI hat-trick

Chennai Super Kings (CSK) vs Dolphins, Match 8, CLT20 2014: Dolphins’ likely XI

Fan of the Day

Niharika Shah

Niharika Shah

670 Posts | 6 Fans

CLT20 2014: Kings Xi Punjab vs Barbados Tridents, final over

50% of all cancers are detected late

Your newborn might not be as fragile as you thought!

Small World Music Festival Presents: Classical Indian Music

iPhone 6 sales outpacing iPhone 6 Plus, usage tracker reveal

Kajol at the United Nations headquarters-View pic!

Apple iPhone 5S now available for less that Rs 35,000 on Indian e-commerce sites

Mumbai model Ekta Babbar commits suicide

Hrithik Roshan: I am not reprising Tom Cruise in Bang Bang!

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here