Home > Features > Humour >

The Sachin Tendulkar effect: Google reports huge drop in searches for Maria Sharapova’s hot pictures after her ignorance of ‘God of Cricket’

Indian fans even trolled Maria Sharapoval's official Facebook page after her comment that she didn't know Sachin Tendulkar © Getty Images
Indian fans even trolled Maria Sharapoval’s official Facebook page after her comment that she didn’t know Sachin Tendulkar   Photo Courtsey: Maria Sharapova’s official Instagram page

By Ashwin Kumar

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

The ill-effects of Maria Sharapova’s ignorance of Sachin Tendulkar, the God of cricket, only seem to increase, with search engine giant Google reporting a sharp plummet in searches for the Russian tennis sensation’s hot pictures online.

“We’re blown away. Earlier, every night, from India and many other countries with a huge Indian population, we’d get millions and millions of search queries like ‘Maria Sharapova hot pics,’ ‘Maria Sharapova bikini pictures,’ ‘Maria Sharapova swimsuit,’ ‘Maria Sharapova sexy,’ and so on, but for the last few days, such search terms have declined considerably. Her ignorance of the master blaster seems to have infuriated millions of Indians to the point that they’ve even stopped ogling at her or fantasizing about her,” Google CEO Larry Page told The UnReal Times.

“Oh, and there has been a spike in the search results for Anna Kournikova’s pictures, but it’s a very small spike. Searches for Kournikova’s pics have plummeted overall, after the Anna Hazare movement began. Our f***ed up algorithm sometimes returns Anna Hazare’s photos to those who search for Anna Kournikova’s! Naturally, many users get very pissed off,” Page added.

The UnReal Times also spoke to a few die-hard Tendulkar fans, who confessed to have totally stopped searching for spicy pictures of the long-legged lass. “Dude, we may be porn-addicts, we may have strong urges every day, but they’re not entirely irresistible! How dare she not know the God of cricket? How dare she ask who Sachin Tendulkar is? There’s no way in hell I’m gonna, well…enjoy myself staring at her pictures from now on! She doesn’t deserve my..err…focused thought!” said Aila Shakti, a die-hard Tendulkar fan.

“Exactly, I may be a horny teenager, but before that, I’m a Sachinist! To hell with Maria!” echoed another.

“Yeah! I don’t want to look at her spicy pictures offline too, so I’m even gonna cancel my Times of India subscription,” said a third.

The trend has however left Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin a little worried. “We’ve kinda realised how overtly dependent Google is on a few personalities. Tomorrow, what if Sunny Leone says she doesn’t know Sachin Tendulkar? Google will practically have NO traffic from India! That’s like billions of $ gone in one go!” a worried Brin said.

(Ashwin Kumar is a humorist with www.theunrealtimes.com where this article was originally published. The UnReal Times is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal)

South Africa tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Jul 24, 2014 (10:00 IST)   at Colombo

Afghanistan tour of Zimbabwe, 2014

Jul 24, 2014 (12:30 IST)   at Bulawayo

India tour of England 2014

Jul 27, 2014 (15:30 IST)   at Southampton

Pakistan tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Aug 6, 2014 (10:00 IST)   at Galle

India tour of England 2014

Aug 7, 2014 (15:30 IST)   at Manchester

More

Afghanistan tour of Zimbabwe, 2014

Jul 22, 2014  at Bulawayo

Afghanistan won by 2 wkts

Afghanistan tour of Zimbabwe, 2014

Jul 20, 2014  at Bulawayo

Zimbabwe won by 8 wkts

Afghanistan tour of Zimbabwe, 2014

Jul 18, 2014  at Bulawayo

Zimbabwe won by 6 wkts

India tour of England 2014

Jul 17, 2014  at London

India won by 95 runs

South Africa tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Jul 16, 2014  at Galle

South Africa won by 153 runs

Photos

Gallery: India vs England 2nd Test at Lord's

Videos

Alastair Cook jokes about his bowling

India’s wins in England — from 1971 to 2014

Ravindra Jadeja knighted by her majesty Queen Elizabeth II

India’s win over England in 2nd Test at Lord’s: Twitter reactions

Ishant Sharma pummels England into submission as India clinch Lord’s Test by 95 runs

Ishant Sharma registers name at Lord’s honours board, takes 6 wickets in 2nd Test against England

Bhuvneshwar Kumar England England vs India England vs India 2014 India India tour of England 2014 India vs England India vs England 2014 Ishant Sharma MS Dhoni South Africa South Africa tour of Sri Lanka 2014 Sri Lanka Sri Lanka vs South Africa Sri Lanka vs South Africa 2014

India tour of England 2014: Ravichandran Ashwin should play at Southampton, says Bishen Singh Bedi

India tour of England 2014: Boycott slams Cook over stubbornness to quit captaincy

Sri Lanka vs South Africa 2nd Test Preview: Proteas aim to seal series

India tour of England 2014: Peter Moores says senior players must buck up

India tour of England 2014: Sandeep Patil asks team to stay focused

Can America be the ‘Land of Opportunity’ for cricket

Graham Gooch’s fabulous numbers in all forms of cricket

India tour of England 2014: Ishant Sharma and the curious case of Indian fast bowling

India tour of England 2014: Figures demonstrate why the Lord’s win is special

India’s overseas victories where pace bowlers dominated – Part 2 of 2

Fan of the Day

Fan Cricket

Fan Cricket

11 Posts | 2 Fans

Brazil vs Netherlands, 3rd place Fifa World Cup 2014 match Video Highlights

Madhur Bhandarkar starts shooting for Calender Girls!

Panasonic T41, P41 and P61 Android KitKat launched in India, prices start from Rs 7,990

Nokia Lumia 530 with 512MB RAM, 4GB internal storage announced; priced around Rs 8,000

Can America be the ‘Land of Opportunity’ for cricket

Himachal men donating organs for wives

Watch Priyanka Chopra kick ass in Mary Kom trailer

India tour of England 2014: Ravichandran Ashwin should play at Southampton, says Bishen Singh Bedi

Shivi Kashyap garners appreciation for her singing talent

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here