Home > Features > Humour >

The Sachin Tendulkar effect: Google reports huge drop in searches for Maria Sharapova’s hot pictures after her ignorance of ‘God of Cricket’

Indian fans even trolled Maria Sharapoval's official Facebook page after her comment that she didn't know Sachin Tendulkar © Getty Images
Indian fans even trolled Maria Sharapoval’s official Facebook page after her comment that she didn’t know Sachin Tendulkar   Photo Courtsey: Maria Sharapova’s official Instagram page

By Ashwin Kumar

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

The ill-effects of Maria Sharapova’s ignorance of Sachin Tendulkar, the God of cricket, only seem to increase, with search engine giant Google reporting a sharp plummet in searches for the Russian tennis sensation’s hot pictures online.

“We’re blown away. Earlier, every night, from India and many other countries with a huge Indian population, we’d get millions and millions of search queries like ‘Maria Sharapova hot pics,’ ‘Maria Sharapova bikini pictures,’ ‘Maria Sharapova swimsuit,’ ‘Maria Sharapova sexy,’ and so on, but for the last few days, such search terms have declined considerably. Her ignorance of the master blaster seems to have infuriated millions of Indians to the point that they’ve even stopped ogling at her or fantasizing about her,” Google CEO Larry Page told The UnReal Times.

“Oh, and there has been a spike in the search results for Anna Kournikova’s pictures, but it’s a very small spike. Searches for Kournikova’s pics have plummeted overall, after the Anna Hazare movement began. Our f***ed up algorithm sometimes returns Anna Hazare’s photos to those who search for Anna Kournikova’s! Naturally, many users get very pissed off,” Page added.

The UnReal Times also spoke to a few die-hard Tendulkar fans, who confessed to have totally stopped searching for spicy pictures of the long-legged lass. “Dude, we may be porn-addicts, we may have strong urges every day, but they’re not entirely irresistible! How dare she not know the God of cricket? How dare she ask who Sachin Tendulkar is? There’s no way in hell I’m gonna, well…enjoy myself staring at her pictures from now on! She doesn’t deserve my..err…focused thought!” said Aila Shakti, a die-hard Tendulkar fan.

“Exactly, I may be a horny teenager, but before that, I’m a Sachinist! To hell with Maria!” echoed another.

“Yeah! I don’t want to look at her spicy pictures offline too, so I’m even gonna cancel my Times of India subscription,” said a third.

The trend has however left Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin a little worried. “We’ve kinda realised how overtly dependent Google is on a few personalities. Tomorrow, what if Sunny Leone says she doesn’t know Sachin Tendulkar? Google will practically have NO traffic from India! That’s like billions of $ gone in one go!” a worried Brin said.

(Ashwin Kumar is a humorist with www.theunrealtimes.com where this article was originally published. The UnReal Times is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal)

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Oct 20, 2014 (14:30 IST)   at Kolkata

Pakistan vs Australia in UAE, 2014

Oct 22, 2014 (11:30 IST)   at Dubai

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Oct 22, 2014 (19:00 IST)   at Cuttack

Zimbabwe tour of Bangladesh, 2014

Oct 25, 2014 (09:30 IST)   at Dhaka

South Africa tour of New Zealand, 2014

Oct 27, 2014 (03:00 IST)   at Hamilton

More

South Africa tour of New Zealand, 2014

Oct 24, 2014  at Mount Maunganui

South Africa won by 72 runs

South Africa tour of New Zealand, 2014

Oct 21, 2014  at Mount Maunganui

South Africa won by 6 wkts

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Oct 17, 2014  at Dharamsala

India won by 59 runs

West Indies tour of India, 2014

Oct 14, 2014  at Visakhapatnam

Match cancelled

Pakistan vs Australia in UAE, 2014

Oct 12, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

Australia won by 1 run

Photos

Pakistan vs Australia, 1st Test at Dubai

Videos

Amla feels Proteas more acclimatised to conditions

Live Cricket Score Duleep Trophy Central Zone vs North Zone, semi-final at Mohali Day 4: Naman Ojha out for 40

Live Cricket Score Pakistan vs Australia, 1st Test, Day 4: Azhar Ali out for 30

Live Cricket Score Bangladesh vs Zimbabwe, 1st Test Day 1 at Mirpur: Zimbabwe lose Sibanda in first over

World Cup 1992, England vs Pakistan: Three hours of rain changes course of tournament

David Warner’s transformation into a dependable and effervescent batsman

Australia Australia tour of UAE 2014 Australia vs Pakistan Australia vs Pakistan 2014 Duleep Trophy India New Zealand New Zealand vs South Africa New Zealand vs South Africa 2014 Pakistan Pakistan vs Australia Pakistan vs Australia 2014 South Africa South Africa tour of New Zealand 2014 South Africa vs New Zealand South Africa vs New Zealand 2014

MS Dhoni buys Hockey India League franchise, Ranchi Rays

Haroon Lorgat expects WICB to sort out issue before South Africa tour

Yasir Shah delighted by Shane Warne’s tweet

Zimbabwe reach 77/2 at lunch against Bangladesh on Day 1 of 1st Test

VVS Laxman: Would love to watch ISL match during my stay in Kolkata

Strangers, Brothers and Cricket— the English novelist CP Snow’s lasting passion for the game

World Cup 1992, England vs Pakistan: Three hours of rain changes course of tournament

David Warner’s transformation into a dependable and effervescent batsman

Pakistan vs Australia 2014: Spin hunt continues for visitors

Sarfaraz Ahmed may have trumped the Akmals as Pakistan’s wicketkeeper-batsman across formats

Fan of the Day

Suraj Gowda

Suraj Gowda

642 Posts | 9 Fans

Virat Kohli's Family Meets Anushka Sharma

Top Sex Positions: Frog Princess

Google partners Oxford University to teach machines to think

AbRam Khan steals the thunder from dad Shah Rukh Khan in Happy New Year – view pic!

Bangladesh vs Zimbabwe 2014, 1st Test Live Streaming: Watch Live Stream & Telecast of BAN vs ZIM Day 1 at Dhaka

Nokia turnaround since handset unit sale continues, reports $950 million Q3 net profit

NASA captures largest sunspot in two decades

Exclusive: Salman Khan’s Diwali gifts for his friends!

How to make tamarind or imli packs for hair and skin

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here