Home > Features > Humour >

Virat Kohli flops in England; disappointed Anushka Sharma threatens to have another lip job done

© Getty Imgaes
Anushka threatens to have yet another lip job if Virat Kohli fails © Getty Imgaes

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

By UnReal Mama

Virat Kohli’s golden duck in the second innings of the Lord’s Test may have been the last straw for his beau. A highly disappointed Anushka Sharma has threatened to have yet another lip job done and, to rub it in, appear on Koffee with Karan after that if Virat doesn’t find form with the bat soon.

“Believe me, I’m as disappointed with Virat as any other cricket fan, yaa,” Anushka fretted to The UnReal Times. “You think I get a kick out of trending for all the wrong reasons every time Virat flops with the bat? I decided enough was enough and something had to be done about it. Now the prospect of jokes about another lip job of mine trending on Twitter should give Virat the jitters and keep him on top his game.”

Anushka’s threat seems to have had its desired effect. The pugnacious Delhi lad hit the nets immediately and gave the red cherry the full treatment, mouthing expletives while at it. “He seems to be getting back to being his old angry self. If the string of expletives is an indication, he should be back among the runs,” a member of the Indian cricket team revealed on condition of anonymity.

Ace commentator Ravi Shastri felt Anushka’s threat was just what the doctor ordered. “If this threat works, and Virat scores, that’s great. If Virat flops and Anushka goes ahead with her threat, then I don’t see Virat hanging around her any longer. So, either way, in the end, cricket will be the winner,” the 1984 Champion of Champions intoned.

Read more on Virat Kohli and Anushka Sharma.

(Originally published in www.theunrealtimes.comUnreal Mama” is the pen name of CS Krishna & Karthik Laxman, founding editors of the site which is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal)

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (14:00 IST)   at Port Elizabeth

Sri Lanka tour of New Zealand, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (03:30 IST)   at Christchurch

India tour of Australia, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (05:00 IST)   at Melbourne

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Jan 2, 2015 (14:00 IST)   at Cape Town

Sri Lanka tour of New Zealand, 2014-15

Jan 3, 2015 (03:30 IST)   at Wellington

More

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 19, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

New Zealand won by 68 runs

India tour of Australia, 2014-15

Dec 17, 2014  at Woolloongabba, Brisbane

Australia won by 4 wkts

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 17, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

New Zealand won by 7 runs

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Dec 17, 2014  at Centurion

South Africa won by an innings and 220 runs

England tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Dec 16, 2014  at Colombo

Sri Lanka won by 87 runs

Photos

India vs Australia, 2nd Test at Brisbane

Videos

Ind vs Aus: Dhoni analyses the 4-wicket loss at Brisbane

ICC World Cup 2015: England announce 15-man squad

India’s collapse against Australia on 2nd Test at Brisbane: Did the visitors really bat badly on Day 4?

India vs Australia 2014-15, Brisbane: India marks out of 10

Live Cricket Score India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane, Day 4: Australia win by 4 wickets, take 2-0 lead in the series

Anil Kumble Australia India Moments in history Ricky Ponting South Africa

ISL Finals 2014, Kerala Blasters FC vs Atletico de Kolkata: No goals in the first half

Johnathan Trott to lead England Lions

India tour of Australia 2014: Steven Smith warns visitors against resorting to sledging in the future

ICC World Cup 2015: England announce 15-man squad

India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane: Pitch curator shocked by India’s criticism

India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane: Highlights

India’s collapse against Australia on 2nd Test at Brisbane: Did the visitors really bat badly on Day 4?

India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane: Marks out of 10 for the hosts

India vs Australia 2014-15, Brisbane: India marks out of 10

Pakistan vs New Zealand 2014, 5th ODI at Abu Dhabi: Marks out of ten for the hosts

Fan of the Day

Suraj Gowda

Suraj Gowda

653 Posts | 10 Fans

India vs Australia: Murali Vijay's 144, Video highlights

प्रसिद्ध कथक नृत्यांगना सितारा देवी नहीं रही

More broadband connections to boost GDP growth in Asia Pacific: GSMA

India is becoming our largest overseas market, Xiaomi CEO Lei Jun says

Bigg Boss 8: Ali Quli Mirza, Renee Dhyani, Upen Patel, Praneet Bhatt, Sonali Raut – who should be evicted this week?

Revealed: The reason why Kishore Kumar’s biopic starring Ranbir Kapoor won’t feature Katrina Kaif!

अभिनेत्री प्रियंका चोपड़ा ने स्वच्छ भारत अभियान में हिस्सा लिया

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here