Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here

Home > Features > Humour >

Virender Sehwag picked by New York Yankees; to shift to New Jersey

Virender Sehwag picked by New York Yankees; to shift to New Jersey

Virender Sehwag at the selection trials to get into the New York Yankees, a top American professional baseball team © Unreal Times

With calls for their retirement after a string of dismal performances in the current series against Australia, India’s aging legends have decided to extend their sporting careers by trying their hand at cricket’s close cousin, baseball. At the end of the second Test at Sydney, Virender Sehwag, Rahul Dravid, VVS Laxman, and Zaheer Khan flew to New York to attend selection trials to get into the top professional baseball team in the US, the New York Yankees.

 

Sehwag was the first to be trialed and took to baseball like a fish takes to water, hitting every ball pitched at him out of the ball park.

 

“Boss, baseball suits my style perfectly. No footwork required, no concept of defense, perfect,” raved the marauding opener, who will now be shifting base from Najafgarh to New Jersey and will not be available for the remaining part of the Australian tour. The team management has given Sehwag the permission to go ahead since his absence won’t be felt much anyway in the ongoing series.

 

Unlike Sehwag, however, the others weren’t able to impress the Yankees’ selectors and were consequently rejected. Rahul Dravid, after meticulously reading up on the history of baseball, took guard to the New York Yankees bowler pitcher. The first ball pitched to him was a beamer that Dravid defended, doing well to keep it on the ground but refused to run to the next base and was ruled out. However, he was given a reprieve and asked to take guard again since he was not aware of the rules. Dravid then let three consecutive pitches go safely to the wicket-keeper catcher with an exaggerated forward stance, realising they were well over the notional off-stump. To his dismay, the umpire brusquely ruled him out and a bewildered Dravid made his way back to the pavilion shaking his head.

 

“Stupid game,” Dravid remarked later with undisguised contempt. “And they tell me there is no forward defense either and the batsman has to score off every ball. Dumb!”

 

Laxman was the next batsman in. The stylish Hyderabadi languidly fetched a pitch well outside off and elegantly flicked it away to the ‘square-leg fence’. Satisfied, the batsman then nonchalantly proceeded to meander down the pitch to tap his bat on cracks in the pitch, by which time the fielders had already retrieved the ball from the boundary and ran him out.

 

A dumbfounded Laxman was told that there were no boundaries in baseball and he had to run through the four bases to score a run. “What is this nonsense, ra?” grumbled VVS. “You have to run four bases to score a run?! Thanks but no thanks. I think I’ll stick to cricket. Light theesko.”

 

Zaheer Khan, who tried out for pitching, deployed his usual tricks, covering the ball with his right hand, taking balls into and away from the batsmen alternatively, with a sledge or two for good measure. But when the Yankees batsman hit him for three consecutive home runs, Zaheer quickly decided to concentrate on cricket. “With the old ball not being an option in baseball, it’s a little difficult for me to try out my reverse swing,” said Zaheer. “Besides, I can still dismiss left-handers in cricket.”

 

The Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI,) meanwhile, is in talks with American baseball stars to sign them on for the Baseball Premier League (BPL), fearing that Indians might not watch the IPL after the national team’s abject failure Down Under. 

 

(Reproduced with permission from http://www.theunrealtimes.com/. The UnReal Times is one of the top websites for satire, spoof, parody and humour in India)

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 21, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Abu Dhabi

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 22, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Sharjah

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 23, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Dubai

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 24, 2014 (20:00 IST)   at Sharjah

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 25, 2014 (16:00 IST)   at Dubai

More

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 20, 2014  at Sharjah

Kings XI Punjab won by 7 wkts

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 19, 2014  at Dubai

Delhi Daredevils won by 4 wkts

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 19, 2014  at Dubai

Royal Challengers Bangalore won by 7 wkts

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 18, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

Rajasthan Royals won by 4 wkts

Indian T20 League 2014

Apr 18, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

Kings XI Punjab won by 6 wkts

Photos

RR vs KXIP, IPL 2014 Match 7 at Sharjah

Videos

Rajasthan Royals' unusual strategy in IPL 2014

Chetan Sharma: I am often reminded of Javed Miandad’s last-ball six

IPL: Virender Sehwag and Mahela Jayawardene maul Mumbai Indians with 151-run opening stand

IPL 2014: JP Duminy unfolding as the Mr Consistent for Delhi Daredevils

IPL 2014: Chennai Super Kings’ bowling attack may present problems for MS Dhoni

Praveen Kumar believes making comeback for India is not difficult

Chennai Super Kings David Miller Delhi Daredevils England India IPL IPL 7 IPL 2014 Kings XI Punjab Kolkata Knight Riders Mumbai Indians Rajasthan Royals Royal Challengers Bangalore RR vs KXIP 2014 Virat Kohli

Afghanistan appoint Peter Anderson as academy coach

IPL 2014: Sanju Samson says aggression comes to him naturally

Alastair Cook positive about partnership with Peter Moores

IPL 2014: AB de Villiers is one of the best batsmen in the world, says Parthiv Patel

IPL 2014: Glenn Maxwell believes he can ‘manipulate’ fielders

IPL 2014: Week 1 – Hits and Flops!

Peter Moores aims to resurrect England’s fortunes in his second term as coach

Chetan Sharma: I am often reminded of Javed Miandad’s last-ball six

IPL: Virender Sehwag and Mahela Jayawardene maul Mumbai Indians with 151-run opening stand

IPL 2014: JP Duminy unfolding as the Mr Consistent for Delhi Daredevils

Fan of the Day

Suraj Gowda

Suraj Gowda

622 Posts | 7 Fans

Video Highlights: Virat Kohli's 77 during India vs Sri Lanka ICC World T20 2014 final at Dhaka

Afghanistan appoint Peter Anderson as academy coach

Know your medical terms: Intravenous

Telecom operators are likely to gain as DoT recalculates one-time spectrum fee

Sony Xperia M2 launched in India for Rs 21,990: Specifications, features and comparison

Peter Moores aims to resurrect England’s fortunes in his second term as coach

10 tips for sweat-free summer nights

Also on cricketcountry.com