Home > Features > Humour >

Virender Sehwag picked by New York Yankees; to shift to New Jersey

Virender Sehwag picked by New York Yankees; to shift to New Jersey

Virender Sehwag at the selection trials to get into the New York Yankees, a top American professional baseball team © Unreal Times

With calls for their retirement after a string of dismal performances in the current series against Australia, India’s aging legends have decided to extend their sporting careers by trying their hand at cricket’s close cousin, baseball. At the end of the second Test at Sydney, Virender Sehwag, Rahul Dravid, VVS Laxman, and Zaheer Khan flew to New York to attend selection trials to get into the top professional baseball team in the US, the New York Yankees.

 

Sehwag was the first to be trialed and took to baseball like a fish takes to water, hitting every ball pitched at him out of the ball park.

 

“Boss, baseball suits my style perfectly. No footwork required, no concept of defense, perfect,” raved the marauding opener, who will now be shifting base from Najafgarh to New Jersey and will not be available for the remaining part of the Australian tour. The team management has given Sehwag the permission to go ahead since his absence won’t be felt much anyway in the ongoing series.

 

Unlike Sehwag, however, the others weren’t able to impress the Yankees’ selectors and were consequently rejected. Rahul Dravid, after meticulously reading up on the history of baseball, took guard to the New York Yankees bowler pitcher. The first ball pitched to him was a beamer that Dravid defended, doing well to keep it on the ground but refused to run to the next base and was ruled out. However, he was given a reprieve and asked to take guard again since he was not aware of the rules. Dravid then let three consecutive pitches go safely to the wicket-keeper catcher with an exaggerated forward stance, realising they were well over the notional off-stump. To his dismay, the umpire brusquely ruled him out and a bewildered Dravid made his way back to the pavilion shaking his head.

 

“Stupid game,” Dravid remarked later with undisguised contempt. “And they tell me there is no forward defense either and the batsman has to score off every ball. Dumb!”

 

Laxman was the next batsman in. The stylish Hyderabadi languidly fetched a pitch well outside off and elegantly flicked it away to the ‘square-leg fence’. Satisfied, the batsman then nonchalantly proceeded to meander down the pitch to tap his bat on cracks in the pitch, by which time the fielders had already retrieved the ball from the boundary and ran him out.

 

A dumbfounded Laxman was told that there were no boundaries in baseball and he had to run through the four bases to score a run. “What is this nonsense, ra?” grumbled VVS. “You have to run four bases to score a run?! Thanks but no thanks. I think I’ll stick to cricket. Light theesko.”

 

Zaheer Khan, who tried out for pitching, deployed his usual tricks, covering the ball with his right hand, taking balls into and away from the batsmen alternatively, with a sledge or two for good measure. But when the Yankees batsman hit him for three consecutive home runs, Zaheer quickly decided to concentrate on cricket. “With the old ball not being an option in baseball, it’s a little difficult for me to try out my reverse swing,” said Zaheer. “Besides, I can still dismiss left-handers in cricket.”

 

The Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI,) meanwhile, is in talks with American baseball stars to sign them on for the Baseball Premier League (BPL), fearing that Indians might not watch the IPL after the national team’s abject failure Down Under. 

 

(Reproduced with permission from http://www.theunrealtimes.com/. The UnReal Times is one of the top websites for satire, spoof, parody and humour in India)

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Dec 17, 2014 (14:00 IST)   at Centurion

India tour of Australia, 2014-15

Dec 17, 2014 (05:29 IST)   at Woolloongabba, Brisbane

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 19, 2014 (16:30 IST)   at Abu Dhabi

West Indies in South Africa, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (14:00 IST)   at Port Elizabeth

Sri Lanka tour of New Zealand, 2014-15

Dec 26, 2014 (03:30 IST)   at Christchurch

More

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 17, 2014  at Abu Dhabi

New Zealand won by 7 runs

England tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Dec 16, 2014  at Colombo

Sri Lanka won by 87 runs

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 14, 2014  at Sharjah

Pakistan won by 147 runs

England tour of Sri Lanka, 2014

Dec 13, 2014  at Pallekele

Sri Lanka won by 90 runs

Pakistan vs New Zealand in UAE, 2014

Dec 12, 2014  at Sharjah

New Zealand won by 4 wkts

Photos

India vs Australia, 2nd Test at Brisbane

Videos

Josh Hazlewood looks back at his 5-wicket haul

India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test at Brisbane, Day 3: Australia finally bowled out for 505

India vs Australia 2nd Test at Brisbane, Day 2: India’s familiar collapse, Umesh Yadav’s heroics and other highlights

South Africa vs West Indies,1st Test, Day 2 at Centurion: South Africa declare at 552 for 5

Murali Vijay, Ajinkya Rahane guide India to 311/4 against Australia on Day 1 of 1st Test at Brisbane

Anil Kumble Australia India Ishant Sharma Moments in history Ravichandran Ashwin Ricky Ponting South Africa

India vs Australia, 2nd Test at Brisbane, Day 3: Murali Vijay goes past 1,000 runs against Australia

India vs Australia 2014-15, 2nd Test, Brisbane: Rohit Sharma disappointed says Anil Kumble

Navjot Singh Sidhu’s convoy attacked in Jammu and Kashmir

Australia bowled out for 505 against India on Day 3 of 2nd Test at Brisbane

Indian bowlers censured on social media for struggle against Australia at Brisbane

Stiaan van Zyl’s century on debut earns him a dream start to Test cricket

Varun Aaron: Memories of a teammate

World Cup 1987: Viv Richards decimates Sri Lanka at Karachi

India vs Australia 2nd Test at Brisbane: Steven Smith holds key for Australia

Josh Hazlewood’s relentless accuracy and subtle movement against India in 2nd Test at Brisbane augurs well for Australia

Fan of the Day

Suraj Gowda

Suraj Gowda

653 Posts | 10 Fans

India vs Australia: Murali Vijay's 144, Video highlights

प्रसिद्ध कथक नृत्यांगना सितारा देवी नहीं रही

More broadband connections to boost GDP growth in Asia Pacific: GSMA

India is becoming our largest overseas market, Xiaomi CEO Lei Jun says

Bigg Boss 8: Ali Quli Mirza, Renee Dhyani, Upen Patel, Praneet Bhatt, Sonali Raut – who should be evicted this week?

Revealed: The reason why Kishore Kumar’s biopic starring Ranbir Kapoor won’t feature Katrina Kaif!

अभिनेत्री प्रियंका चोपड़ा ने स्वच्छ भारत अभियान में हिस्सा लिया

Also on cricketcountry.com

Play Fantasy Cricket & Win

Cash Daily! Click here