By Jegannath Ramanathan
Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction
In a shocking turn of events, Mickey Arthur has been dropped as Australia’s coach for the fourth and final Test match against India in Delhi for forgetting to submit his homework to the Australian cricket team.
The four players who were dropped for the third Test at Mohali are set to return, while Michael Clarke will double up as the coach-cum-captain, taking cue from Indian Premier League (IPL) teams.
In what was supposed to be a regular team meeting post Test matches, the entire Australian team was waiting with bated breath for Mickey Arthur to show up and give them their next homework. The wait went on for a couple of hours but Arthur did not turn up. The Aussie cricketers returned to their hotel rooms in shock.
“Usually at the end of a Test match, Mickey has a chat with the team and gives us the next assignments. The boys [mostly] love it and have learnt various skills in MS PowerPoint. I had a discussion with Mickey on Day Four, and we were looking to give them an MS Excel assignment this time around,” Clarke confirmed.
“Mickey did not turn up for the meeting; in fact, he has been missing. We as a unit have always stressed on the importance of culture and attitude. Mickey unfortunately could not comply with it and we had to take the tough decision of dropping him. It was a circle in the sand decision,” Clarke said candidly.
This Faking News reporter managed to get hold of Arthur. He was in his business attire and was making his way out of the Mumbai office of the Board of Control for Cricket in India [BCCI]. He was trying to shy away from the media, but he was cornered.
“Well, I have to take care of my future as well. There are 10 Ashes Tests coming up and there is a chance of another whitewash. Cricket Australia will most certainly sack me,” Arthur said.
“I have heard BCCI takes overseas defeats and whitewashes lightly and a home series defeat is excusable too. I was just checking with them on future avenues with the Indian team,” he revealed.
On being informed about the sack from the team for the last match, Arthur said that he was willing to take it on his chin taking into consideration his long-term aspirations.
“My future allegiance lies with BCCI and Indian cricket. I am sure being dropped for one match doesn’t hurt me or the team,” said Arthur with a smirk.
BCCI Officials confirmed that Mickey Arthur had indeed visited the BCCI office to express his interest in offering his services to Indian cricket. He has applied for two positions: One, for being the Indian coach when Duncan Fletcher’s contract expires next year, and another for the commentator’s position to replace VVS Laxman.
BCCI is reportedly more interested in his commentator’s application. Details are being worked out.
A keen cricket follower and armchair critic, Sandhu Singh, commented on the latest development saying: “VVS, Australia and torment have always had a special relationship. He first tormented the Aussies with his batting, and now in Australia’s tour of India he is tormenting us with his commentary. Mickey Arthur will be a much better replacement!”
(Jegannath Ramanathan is a sports lover, a cricket freak and a wannabe traveler. The above spoof is reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)
First Published: March 19, 2013, 2:00 am