Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction
In a rather first of its kind news, Cricket Australia (CA) has decided that this year onwards, they are going to recruiting graduates from the Indian Institute of Management (IIM) directly into the Australian national cricket team. CA has also announced the “Order of Australia” award to be given to any of these candidates provided they keep on giving excellent off the field results on their laptops to the team coach.
Speaking exclusively to Faking News, Cricket Australia CEO, James Sutherland said, “Look mate we have to do what is in the best interest of Australian cricket and Test cricket in general and our coach Mickey Arthur feels that players willing to give very good presentations on Mickey’s lap……erm laptop are best suited to play international cricket, especially Test cricket. We are also on the same page with Mickey and [Michael] Clarke about this issue and feel big bulky players like James Pattinson and Shane Watson won’t be of any use to us in Test cricket as they tend to get injured after bowling three overs and zero overs respectively after every series. So we have decided to recruit battle-hardened IIM guys for these tough jobs since they know how to give 10 presentations in a day, which is exactly what the team management wants.”
When Faking News contacted an IIM Ahmedabad (IIM-A) faculty, he said, “Oh absolutely brilliant decision on part of CA to come to our campus for placements of these highly-talented IIM students who keep on giving presentation day in and day out from the moment they crack CAT [Common Admission Test]. They are the best in the business out there.”
When asked what about the cricketing skills that they will require to play on the cricket field the faculty said, “Hey, look man, these students learn the basic principles of flattery as soon as they start their MBA [Master of Business Administration]. By the end of two years they are good enough to impress their bosses in getting the coveted H1B visa, so learning cricket would be child’s play for these winners. Also playing against the likes of seam-rotating bowler Harbhajan Singh shouldn’t be a problem.”
Some IIM students were seen quickly applying for the CA placement process. One student, Deva Bhattacharya, spoke to Faking News, “This is a dream come true for people like me who wanted to play cricket but were sent to IIT-JEE coaching classes and then to CAT coaching classes by our parents who always wanted the best for us. Now we have the IIT and IIM degrees as well as now I will have a page dedicated to me on cricinfo and also a Baggy Green to boast of.”
Anna Dushazaare, another student, claimed to have prepared 15 PowerPoint Presentations on how to reclaim the Ashes from England and said he would present it to Mickey Arthur only if he is selected in the team thereby offering CA bribe openly.
(The above post has been reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)
The Michael Clarke-Mickey Arthur Bombshell
First Published: March 13, 2013, 10:42 am