Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.
The latest unpopular decisions by the Government of India, which were welcomed by the industry, could have helped Indian cricket team win its match against England in the ongoing ICC World Twenty20 cup here, sources say.
“Piyush Chawla, out of form and not playing even domestic cricket, was very worried if he would be able to afford more than six LPG cylinders for his family in one year,” a team source told Faking News, “Such concerns motivated him to earn money by performing on field.”
Sources say that the entire Indian team had carefully heard Dr. Manmohan Singh’s speech on Friday, where Prime Minister had admitted that the situation in the country was almost as bad as 1991 economic crisis.
“Out of form players like Rohit Sharma were shit scared, and they decided to make the best out of whatever opportunity he was given,” the source revealed the secret behind Sharma’s half-century against England.
“Bhajji usually doesn’t care about LPG cylinders or economics, but he was worried about the cost of fuel when the Prime Minister said that diesel prices should have gone up by Rs 17 per litre to bridge the deficit,” the source further revealed why Harbhajan Singh roared back to form.
“Bhajji has a Hummer SUV, and he doesn’t want to sell it off like Sachin Tendulkar sold his Ferrari,” the source explained.
While the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) declined to comment over such reports, Indian Premier League (IPL) chief and Congress leader Rajeev Shukla claimed that such reports were true.
“It proves that the government took right decisions,” he said, “Our decisions helped cricketers. Rohit Sharma belongs to Maharashtra – a state ruled by UPA; Bhajji is from Punjab – the home state of our PM; while Piyush Chawla belongs to Uttar Pradesh – ruled by Samajwadi Party that now supports our government.”
“The only cricketer not performing at par with others was Ashok Dinda from West Bengal. Hope Mamata didi takes note of this,” Shukla said.
(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” He is the Managing Editor of www.fakingnews.com from where the above article has been sourced with permission)