Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.
Harbhajan Singh, who had earlier threatened to slap any bookie who approaches him with a match-fixing offer, has now offered to slap Mohammad Asif and Salman Butt for their involvement in the spot-fixing scandal. Harbhajan has offered this slap as a punishment to Pakistani players, who were found guilty of cheating and corruption by Southwark Crown Court in London.
“Why put the poor guys in jail? They have not murdered anyone. Let me slap them instead,” Harbhajan offered his solution to the court, which is due to announce the quantum of punishment later on Wednesday and Thursday. Asif and Butt could face a jail term of two to seven years after being found guilty of charges.
Harbhajan Singh claimed that his slap was no less a punishment for a cricketer, as it could potentially ruin the career of the slapped one apart from humiliating him in public.
“Take a look at Sreesanth,” Harbhajan said.
The London court has not yet responded to the offer by Harbhajan, however many in Pakistan have supported the off-spinner’s solution.
“This is a befitting reply to someone who cheats and brings bad name to our country,” said Rameez Raza, former Pakistani cricketer and welcomed Harbhajan’s offer and called for one tight slap each to the accused players.
But legal experts are not sure how Harbhajan could be a party to the whole case when he was nowhere involved in the original case. To work around this loophole, many in Pakistan have argued for making BCCI a party to the spot-fixing case and making Harbhajan Singh the representative of BCCI.
“BCCI is surely a party to this case,” Ijaz Butt, a lawyer in Pakistan argued, “If they had allowed these guys to play in IPL and earn some extra money, why would they have gone and fixed matches? BCCI can’t escape its role.”
“And look at poor Asif, BCCI denied him the company of hot cheerleaders so he had to go to Veena Malik,” the lawyer added, and asked PCB to file an affidavit in the London court and make BCCI a party.
BCCI refused to comment on the statements by Harbhajan Singh and Ijaz Butt.
(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” He is the Managing Editor of www.fakingnews.com from where the above article has been sourced with permission)
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