Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.
After making a sensational claim that the India-Sri Lanka 1996 World Cup semi-final match could have been fixed, former Indian cricketer Vinod Kambli has made another startling revelation that throws new light over what had happened during that historic cricket match.
Kambli has now revealed that he returned to the pavilion in tears because Harbhajan Singh had slapped him.
“I was ashamed to admit it all these years, but now I must tell the world everything I know,” Kambli told Faking News, “The Kolkata crowd was getting angry as India lost wickets in a heap and suddenly this young Sikh boy came running towards me and slapped me. Shocked beyond belief, I broke down.”
Kambli says it was much later he discovered that the boy was none other than Indian off-spinner Harbhajan Singh, then aged 16 years, who had then gone to Kolkata to watch the match.
“When I saw him debuting for India two years later, I felt that there was something suspicious,” Kambli claimed, “Later, when he slapped Sreesanth during the 2008 IPL, I was damn sure that he was the same guy who had slapped me!”
When asked why he had kept quite all these 15 years and not disclosed it even when Harbhajan had slapped Sreesanth, Kambli couldn’t come up with a convincing answer.
“I think Bhajji has some special powers. Everyone saw Sreesanth crying and we have photos and videos of him in tears. But have we seen even a single photo or video where Bhajji is seen slapping Sreesanth?”
Kambli argued, “Similarly, I don’t have a proof to back my claim, but take it from me, it was Harbhajan who slapped me and I had to cry like Sreesanth.”
Kambli asserted: “Bhajji is a serial slapper. I wonder why he slapped poor Sree during IPL; he had made it large back then in 1996 itself when he slapped me during ICC World Cup.”
Harbhajan Singh, already pissed off with being dropped from the Indian team playing West Indies, has rubbished the charges and claimed that he was eating chicken tandoori back in Chandigarh when the match in question was going on. Bhajji also threatened to slap Kambli for real if he didn’t withdraw the charges.
(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” He is the Managing Editor of www.fakingnews.com from where the above article has been sourced with permission)