Under a mistaken assumption that a recent report from Moody’s Analytics, which had slammed the national government for being the ‘single biggest drag’ on business activity, was the handiwork of former Australian cricketer turned commentator, Tom Moody, a group of irate Congress workers stormed into the Extraa Innings studio at Sony Entertainment Television’s studios and assaulted the 6-foot, seven-inches Australian.
The reasons for the mistaken identity may have stemmed from the Prime Minister saying that the Moody report had “soured the mood of the business class and could lead to a further slowdown in growth”. To which Sonia Gandhi responded caustically, “Moody aur growth ko maaro goli, Manmohanji. Food Security Bill ko phataphat pass karo”, leading to the unfortunate fracas.
Studio anchor Archana Vijaya, who was present during the assault, said: “We wurr cheeyattyng abawt, yew kneow, the DLF IPL’s matches thys year and Mewdy was, yew, kneow, gedding a lyttle nawdy with me. But then, awl of a sudden, a grewp of gewns came outta nowhere and storded beadyng Mewdy up and awl I cewd dew was stare in dysbeleyf,” following which reporters spent a few minutes in translating her statement into Indian English.
Also present during the occasion was commentator Danny Morrison, who said, “Archana was talking to Moody about something, when suddenly, a group of goons came STORRRRRRMING IN !!!!! THEY ROUGHED HIM UP !!!! THEY STARTED BASHING THE DEEYLIGHTS OUTTA HIM !!! IT WAS A DLF MAXIMUM!!” sending the reporters into a moment of deafness.
“The noise is deafening, Danny”, added Ravi Shastri, as he walked in to face the media as well. Grabbing Danny Morrison’s microphone, Shastri announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, we’ve had an unfortunate incident here in the center, over hundred blows have been exchanged, one person has been taken to the cleaners and been given the full monty and it is only fair to say that more than all this kind of hooliganism, the game of cricket is still the winner.”
Over 50 Congress workers have been arrested in connection with the incident, but Tom Moody is not taking any more chances and has changed his name to Tom Modi. “They tell me no one messes around with a certain Mr. Modi in India, mate,” drawled a shaken Tom.
However, Tom’s lucrative association with IPL could be in jeopardy because N Srinivasan, the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) bigwig, has reportedly not taken kindly to Tom’s new name.
(Ashwin Kumar is an untrained musician, singer, writer/blogger, satirist, T Rajendar (pseudo)-fanatic, mimic, passionate about stopping female foeticide)
(Reproduced with permission from http://www.theunrealtimes.com/. The UnReal Times is one of the top websites for satire, spoof, parody and humour in India.)