Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.
After BCCI terminated Kochi Tuskers Kerala’s (KTK) franchise and ruled out return of the IPL team for the 2012 edition of the Indian Premier League, Sreesanth, one of the players of KTK, has asked BCCI if he could take part in the 2012 IPL as the official trainer of all cheerleaders.
Sreesanth, along with other members of the KTK, could get an option of playing for other IPL teams in wake of KTK being suspended, but the fast bowler, who is also a passionate dancer, chose to train cheerleaders instead of being auctioned again.
“Yes, we have received a request to this effect and we are considering it,” BCCI president N Srinivasan told Faking News. “But the problem is BCCI doesn’t train the cheerleaders; they are directly employed by the franchises. So I don’t know how will this work.”
However, sources suggest that BCCI could indeed appoint Sreesanth as the official head of all the cheerleaders, but not because of his dancing skills.
“A cheerleader’s blog had caused some embarrassment to the board last year and they had been looking to bring all cheerleader’s under BCCI’s direct control ever since. Sreesanth’s employment could become a good excuse for satisfying board’s obsession with controlling everything related to cricket in India,” a source revealed.
Sources further inform that BCCI, which had suspended Rajasthan and Punjab IPL teams last year but later revoked their suspension, is making sure that they don’t suspend more than one franchise in one go, as such franchises could gang up with suspended IPL chairman Lalit Modi and start some suspended premier league.
“Lalit Modi had approached both Shilpa Shetty and Preity Zinta last year, but the coup was foiled by the BCCI at the last moment as Lalit was too busy chatting about fashion bags before coming to the point. This year they have played their cards intelligently, by suspending only one team, and that too a team that is not a favorite of Lalit Modi,” the source said.
Unaware of all this, Sreesanth is hopeful of getting his dream job of training the cheerleaders in the next year’s IPL. Sree rejected charges that he was doing so because he didn’t want to lose the IPL contract money.
“If I wanted to make money through dancing, I’d have become a dancer at Sri Padmanabhaswamy Temple,” the fast bowler said. He refused to comment on demands from some quarters asking the treasure-rich temple to pay the money on behalf of KTK, thus truly making KTK “God’s own IPL team”.
Meanwhile, Ravindra Jadeja, another KTK player, is still clueless on what he should be doing in wake of suspension of Kochi. According to sources, Jadeja has been advised to do nothing, as last time he tried to do something, in 2010, he was banned from that year’s IPL.
(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” He is the Managing Editor of www.fakingnews.com from where the above article has been sourced with permission)