Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.
After being offered 100 gold coins by former Maharashtra Chief Minister Vilasrao Deshmukh for scoring his 100th century in the last Test against the West Indies at the Wankhede Stadium here, Sachin Tendulkar has come up with a counter offer. The Master Blaster has offered to score his much-awaited 100th century if the Parliament of India sends him a list of 100 verified non-corrupt and non-criminal MPs.
“I am not going to score my 100th century until we have 100 honest MPs in our parliament,” Tendulkar declared at a hurriedly-called press conference to clear air around his pending century.
The third and the final Test match against West Indies starts next Tuesday and experts believe that pressure will again be on Tendulkar rather than on West Indies, who were comprehensively beaten in the earlier two matches.
“India needs 100 honest MPs more badly than my 100 centuries,” Tendulkar said, as he shifted the pressure on politicians before the match.
When asked how was he so sure that Indian parliament hadn’t scored a century in honesty, the batting legend said, “Aila, you need proof for that?”
Sources say that Tendulkar has asked the Parliament of India to send him a list that contains names of 100 MPs who have no corruption or criminal charges leveled against them.
Vilasrao Deshmukh, whose offer led to this demand by Tendulkar, refused to react over the development, though he claimed that his party was looking into the matter.
Congress sources say that Digvijay Singh has already started making a list that has names of Sonia Gandhi and Rahul Gandhi on the top.
Other parties too were reportedly working on similar lists that would be sent to Lok Sabha Speaker Meira Kumar, who would then collate them and finalise the list of 100 names.
“Left parties have sent the full list of their members while Laloo Yadav has trashed the whole activity,” an honest MP told Faking News on conditions of anonymity, “Mayawati has asked for a probe if Tendulkar was a Manuwadi Brahmin, while a major infighting has erupted in BJP over whose name to put on the top.”
Among the aam aadmi, the announcement by Tendulkar has been welcomed by everyone, including Anna Hazare, but this has also sent his diehard fans into depression. Many fans fear that Tendulkar will never be able to score his 100th century this way.
“100! That’s just too much, and the next elections are three years away. Tendulkar should have asked for 10 honest MPs,” Ritesh, a Tendulkar fan offered a “workable” alternative.
“Please become honest. Please!” Ritesh pleaded with the MPs, “Please do it for Sachin.”
(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” He is the Managing Editor of www.fakingnews.com from where the above article has been sourced with permission)