4-0 whitewash of Australia: Chennai Super Kings ku whistle podu!

Yellow Fever… (from left): Murali Vijay, Ravichandran Ashwin, Ravindra Jadeja and Mahendra Singh Dhoni © PTI and AFP

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

By Dhananjay Devasper

After India beat Australia comprehensively in the Delhi Test, the fireworks began in the heartland of Chennai  with boisterous celebrations in the Chennai Super Kings camp. The mood was buoyant and leading the pack with a big smile was none other than the owner of the Chennai Super Kings, N Srinivasan himself.

“What a performance, unbelievable”, he kept gushing. “We have completely crushed them. Just a couple of months ago, questions were being raised and fingers pointed at Dhoni”. After pausing for dramatic effect. “Namma Dhoni!Sacrilegious I say! And look at how he has answered them back. Now all these media chaps will keep quiet for some time.”

“Yes” said one of the numerous “yes men” in his group. “It is a fine victory for India. Completely took apart the Australians”.

Srinivasan shot him a “look that could kill”. “India” he bellowed “Who’s talking about India. I am talking about the contribution of Chennai Super Kings team in the absolute decimation of the Australians. Why do you think I invest so much of my time in ensuring that there are at least three to four players from my team. Look at how my boys have performed. Murali Vijay who only performed at the IPL, has now “cemented” his place. He has replaced Virender Sehwag, for now. Maybe I should rub it in on the JK Cement folks. I can have him in an India Cements ad featuring a Sehwag look-alike being kicked out of the team by Murali Vijay with the tag line “Is todu ka ek hi tod hai —Yeh Todu“. Super hit ad, I say!”

From a corner, Krishnamachari Srikkanth added, “And thank God that Ravindra Jadeja has started performing. I was thinking whether we had paid for his skills on the cricketing field or for the amount of hair he had on his head. He’s now my “Rocking Star”. It almost seemed that we had paid the price of a Ferrari for an Ambassador. His performance could not have come at a more opportune time. At a time when people are questioning the profitability of the IPL, it is also the best time for the Super Kings.”

“Yes” said Srinivasan with an air of finality “It has been a great advertisement for the Super Kings leading to the IPL. R Ashwin and R Jadeja pick up the wickets, M Vijay gets the runs and Dhoni gets the cup. I can confidently say that this year our cup will runneth over. Maybe we should run a promotional campaign for the Super Kings like all the coaching classes: “Guaranteed spot in the Indian team – Come join the Super Kings”. We’ll have no dearth of talent.”

“What a Sooperrr idea, saar.” chirped in one of the lackeys. “We all need to get to work” said Srinivasan “Let’s capitalise on this as much as we can in the IPL. We do not have much time.” And with that the entire Chennai Super Kings machinery trooped out.

Stay tuned…

(Dhananjay Devasper is an “IT guy” by profession and a sports fanatic at heart. He has an unbridled passion for sports and Indian achievements in sport. Extremely opinionated, he attempts offering perspectives around sports which are simple to understand and easy to relate with)