Designed by Srushti Takale | Idea by Suvajit Mustafi

‘Slow West’ is a UK-New Zealand action film that released in early 2015. The film directed by John Maclean stars popular actor Michael Fassbender of 300, 12 Years a Slave and X-Men fame. The story revolves around a young Scottish man searching for his lost love in the American West, which he eventually doesn’t succeed in achieving.

slow west

The film seems to have inspired Cricket South Africa (CSA) a lot and they have come with their version — Slow Test. Why not? Temba Bavuma’s 34 from 117-balls, Hashim Amla’s 25 from 244-balls, AB de Villiers’ 43 from 297-balls, Faf du Plessis’ 10 off 97 and South Africa’s second innings run-rate of 0.99 in the just concluded Delhi Test, is some inspiration. Before this search, all four men were searching for that elusive Test series win on the Indian soil, which they eventually didn’t achieve and ended up losing 0-3. Also Read: Twitterati mock Hashim Amla’s resistance in 2nd innings of the Delhi Test

As patriotic as he is, CSA Chief Executive Haroon Lorgat originally wanted the movie to be named ‘Slow South’ obviously referring to the country name but once again BCCI’s interference resulted in the change in the name. The plot here revolves around four South African young men and their bid to search for the lost pride in India. They try hard and play the slowest cricket knocks but eventually don’t succeed in saving the day for their nation. Sounds familiar right? Yes, the protagonists here are AB de Villiers, Hashim Amla, Faf du Plessis and Temba Bavuma.

According to our source, it’s believed that the BCCI secretary Anurag Thakur was so livid with South Africa’s slow batting that he arm-twisted Lorgat in getting the name changed to ‘Slow Test’. Initially Lorgat hadn’t budged but everything went BCCI’s way after CSA’s official Facebook page got hacked and lewd posts appeared. Also Read: Twitterati compare South Africa’s slow batting with things from their routine life

Well, we are not making any accusations. Are we? Don’t worry the movie has no obscenity like the mentioned posts. Relax, sit back and enjoy the entertaining flick. Ok, I take back the entertaining part.

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction.

(Suvajit Mustafi consumes cricket for lunch, fiction for dinner and munches numerous other snacks throughout the day. Yes, a jack of several trades, all Suvajit dreamt of was being India’s World Cup winning skipper but ended up being a sports writer, author, screenwriter, director, copywriter, graphic designer, sports marketer , strategist, entrepreneur,  philosopher and traveller. Donning so many hats, it’s cricket which gives him the ultimate high and where he finds solace. He can be followed at @RibsGully and rivu7)