Breaking news: Arvind Kejriwal to protest at Jantar-Mantar against Rohit Sharma’s inclusion in the Test team

Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal and controversy go hand in hand. The furious politician, who is famous for his fasts, has now threatened the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) and the Indian government of an indefinite fast at Jantar-Mantar if the ‘supremely talented’ Rohit Sharma is not dropped from the Indian team. However, unlike Rohit’s critics, Kejriwal doesn’t want his ouster from the team for the cricketing reasons. His protest has reportedly been triggered by Rohit’s recent visit to the Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi. After Harbhajan Singh, it’s Rohit Sharma’s turn to invite Narendra Modi for his wedding.

“Dekhiye Ji, Ye humare Pradhan Mantri Ambani ke agent hai,” (See, our PM is Ambani’s agent.) Why is this Rohit Sharma again and again included in the team? He is not an Aam Aadmi. He, just like Mr Modi, is Ambani’s agent. That is the same reason why Ambani is throwing a wedding bash for him and Harbhajan. Both Harbhajan and Rohit met Mr Modi and invited him for their wedding party which has been sponsored by Ambani. This government is promoting VIP Raj in the country,” said the motor-mouth politician.

Incidentally, Harbhajan too had met the PM before his wedding, after which he was miraculously back into the team. It is noteworthy here that both the cricketers play for the richest Indian Ambani’s team Mumbai Indians in the Indian Premier League (IPL). Kejriwal objected on the same and said, “Whatever we say here today is not against any organisation or person. We are not here to do politics. We want swaraaj, not VIP Raj.” Kejriwal has also warned of dire consequences if the BCCI doesn’t act.

Rohit apparently got out after scoring just one run in the first innings of the fourth Test against South Africa that is currently underway in Delhi. His dismissal led to a furore, prompting Kejriwal to seek an explanation as to why a more talented Tejashwi Yadav is out of the team. “Lalu ji ke suputra Tejashwi Yadav bhi desh ke liye khele hain” (Lalu Prasad Yadav’s son Tejashwi has also played for India.) He was immediately corrected by his man Friday Ashutosh that Tejashwi has played for Delhi Daredevils and not India. “Tejashwi played for our Delhi team. He deserves to be in the Indian team,” said an angry Kejriwal. A visibly disturbed Virender Sehwag, who was just leaving the stadium after being felicitated, was forced to say that if ‘Tejashwi scores a single run, he’d give away the Ferrari to him that he has kept for his sons.’

Meanwhile, an upset Ishant Sharma has decided to join Kejriwal in the protest. “I was the local boy here in Delhi. The BCCI should have felicitated me as well. But they chose to ignore my contribution,” said the lanky pacer in his hoarse voice. He found support from Kejriwal, who tweeted, “We r proud of u @ImIshant. At least you have shown courage to speak up against the intolerance of @narendramodi and @BCCI. You are an Aam Aadmi just like us. We welcome you to join our protest.” The pacer with long hair has said he will not take part in the Delhi Test any further as a mark of protest. He got some support from Justice Arnab Goswami, who thundered from his news room, “The country wants to know, why Rohit is in the team? Will you answer Mr PM? Why is it that you are on silent mode now?”

Amidst all this chaos, PM Modi has switched to the flight mode and quietly left for his yet another overseas tour.

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

(A self-confessed cricket freak, Chinmay Jawalekar is a senior writer with CricLife and CricketCountry. When not writing or following cricket, he loves to read, eat and sleep. He can be followed here @CricfreakTweets)