Breaking: Tainted Pakistani cricketers start playing tennis after reports of match-fixing in the sport

Pakistani cricketers Salman Butt, Mohammad Asif, Danish Kaneria and various others found guilty of match-fixing over the years today announced that they will start playing professional tennis after reports of match-fixing in the sport surfaced and sent shock waves throughout the world.

“Well, we can’t fix matches in cricket anymore, since we were banned from playing cricket and by good fortune, been given a second chance. We were all sitting bored, not knowing what to do. But like they say, every cloud has a silver lining. It was great to hear that there’s fixing happening in tennis. So we should soon be rocking the tennis world also soon,” Butt told The UnReal Times. “And it’s not just us; veteran fixers like Salim Malik and Ata Ur Rehman are planning to become tennis coaches too. They see tremendous opportunity,” Butt added.

Sources added that the banned Pakistan cricketers have reached out to some of their Indian counterparts to start fixing playing tennis matches with them, but to no avail. “I want to, yaar. I don’t even mind getting prosecuted again. But I just don’t have the guts to face Arnab (Goswami) later, so no!” a banned Indian cricketer said on the condition of anonymity.

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In an exclusive report for NDTV, journalist Barkha Dutt featured the cricketers live from the north lawns of their tennis training camp. However, the cricketers took to their heels shortly after she began to promote her book even over there.

Meanwhile, the cricketers’ move drew high praise from ORF director Sudheendra Kulkarni. “When the poor, misguided Pakistanis are doing something that is not a terror activity, it should be encouraged to the hilt by us. I urge PM Modi to visit Pakistan again and lend a helping hand to these budding tennis fixers,” said Kulkarni.

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

(Ashwin Kumar is a humorist with www.theunrealtimes.com where this article was originally published. The UnReal Times is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal)