Faster than a tracer bullet! Ravi Shastri appointed brand ambassador of India’s Bullet Train project
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Indian cricket commentary legend and team director Ravi Shastri now has another feather in his cap. The former Indian captain has been appointed as the brand ambassador for India’s upcoming Bullet Train project between Mumbai and Ahmedabad, to be undertaken in partnership with Japan. Video: Shikhar Dhawan steps into Ravi Shastri’s shoes

The announcement was made by PM Narendra Modi who tweeted that one of the numerous agreements inked along with his Japanese counterpart Shinzo Abe was appointing Shastri as the Bullet Train project’s brand ambassador. “It’s not for nothing that we Gujjus are considered great businessmen. Simple logic —the project needs good in-your-face advertising and hype. Cricket is an obvious option as Indians all around the world watch it. During the IPL, Ravi is bound to do commentary, so along with Yes Bank maximum, MaxxMobile strategic timeout etc, we will now get to listen to ‘Faster than a Mumbai-Ahmedabad tracer bullet’ Can’t wait for it!” an excited PM Modi told The UnReal Times.

The PM added that Ravi too, is greatly excited about his new role. “When I spoke to him about this, he said in his characteristic style: ‘Well, uh, absolutely Narendra! This is just what the doctor ordered. We have got to make sure this bullet train flashes and flashes hard, until it goes the distance faster than a tracer bullet!’” Facebook Wall: Ravi Shastri helps India go 1-0 up in India vs South Africa Test series

The developed has been welcomed by cabinet ministers and other BJP leaders. While MP Chief Minister Shivraj Chouhan promptly congratulated Shastri on Twitter, Union Telecom Minister Ravi Shankar Prasad expressed his delight at his “very good friend” and namesake’s appointment. Former BCCI president N Srinivasan declared that the news further cemented the pride he had for Ravi in his heart.

However, the move had its fair share of detractors as well. ORF chairman Sudheendra Kulkarni lambasted the PM, asserting that the brand ambassador should’ve been from Pakistan, as a sign of goodwill. “If the PM wanted to appoint a painful commentator as the brand ambassador, he could very well have signed up Rameez Raja instead of Ravi Shastri and shown his big heart. Why didn’t he do so?” he railed, before being sprayed with blank ink by a few Shiv Sainiks standing nearby.

Congress MP Mani Shankar Aiyar lent his voice against Modi as well, suggesting that Imran Khan was in town all these days and that India missed a golden opportunity to appoint him as the ambassador and thereby extend an olive branch to Pakistan.

BCCI secretary and BJP MP Anurag Thakur initially seconded Kulkarni’s suggestion, before going back on his stance and claiming that it was the government’s prerogative, much to the amusement of Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal.

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

(Ashwin Kumar is a humorist with www.theunrealtimes.com where this article was originally published. The UnReal Times is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal)